Reddit reviews A General Theory of Love

A General Theory of Love is a reasonable, readable place to start.
Or anything by Oliver Sacks (Dr. Sacks was a neurologist and one of my favorite writers).


"Psychology" is a gargantuan subject with myriad options. Is there an area you are interested in?

A General Theory of Love

I would either say A General Theory of Love or The Demon-Haunted World are books that I always recommend to people who want to expand themselves.

A General Theory of Love is the perfect message for those who think intelligence and self-mastery means an absence of emotions. For those of us who think being rational means not letting emotions into the decision making process, this book elucidates on why that is not healthy and also why you're probably lying to yourself if you think you are incapable of feeling emotions like "normal" people.

The Demon-Haunted World is a book for everybody. It is a philosophical book written by an astrophysicist using everyday language so nearly anybody can grasp its concepts. It brings the major philosophical question of why within the average person's conceptual grasp, without using any spiritual reasoning. I feel that when more people can contemplate that question, why, without immediately turning to the supernatural and shutting down the mundane, we will be a more level-headed species.

Eh, my two cents. ;-)

My husband got me A General Theory of Love for a Valentine's gift a few years back and I enjoyed that. It was the perfect combination of science and sentiment.

Mary Roach's books Stiff, Bonk, and Spook were good. Her writing style is easy and fun to read while still being informative.

Michael Pollan's Botany of Desire was lovely and I find his writing calming. Also A Place Of My Own was good, as well as his food-related books, but Botany is my favorite.

And most recently, Bill Bryson's At Home, which I thought was charming and clever, and it's really all over the place, so you definitely get a lot of bang for your buck.

A General Theory of Love

You're in luck! I have books for that!

Here's a good book on basic communication between men and women in relationships.

And if you're interested in the psychology and neurology behind how we develop our relationship to love in general, try this on for size.

Whether you have a diagnosis of social anxiety disorder or are just shy, this may help with some skill building. (In fact, just about any good book on social anxiety, as well as skill building for people on the autism spectrum, can be helpful even for people who are more psychologically middle of the road.)

And, not a book but a webpage, some good tips on dating in a more healthy manner. Note the first one especially in the context of our discussion on the seduction community.

>But what about the oxitocine bond between child and mother?
The chemistry of maternal love is real. So is the feeling. And when the chemistry ceases the withdrawal syndromes are all too obvious.

Yes, I've read something that speaks to this poetically alongside physiological detail, in regards to the limbic brain also A General Theory of Love. But this is a specific kind of relational love.

>NO - the feeling of abandonment is precisely result of our experience, it is the very core of our natural identity.

Yet that is what he is meaning I believe, while proposing from and stating there is a condition beyond this. Have you read his work? It is perhaps being operatively aware in this 'beyond' condition that the activity of contraction as he calls it is perceived to be hallucinatory, state/stage conditional.

> That is why depression is the only truly effective state of individuation, the state of detachment from all cultural categories, the state of entirely submerging in the river of pure sorrow, where we can enter only alone, and from which we emerge as true individuals.

It is a necessary state and position-as-perspective to enter, I would agree. But there is more and/or other (transpersonal developments).

I honestly have no idea (it could have been an article also) but this is good:
https://www.amazon.com/Myth-Multitasking-Doing-Gets-Nothing/dp/0470372257/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1494875493&sr=8-1&keywords=multitasking

Also two of my favorite pop pysch books (not 'laziness' related but great information just about how the brain works):
https://www.amazon.com/General-Theory-Love-Thomas-Lewis/dp/0375709223/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1494875459&sr=8-1&keywords=a+general+theory+of+love
https://www.amazon.com/Love-2-0-Finding-Happiness-Connection/dp/0142180475/ref=sr_1_19?ie=UTF8&qid=1494875385&sr=8-19&keywords=the+psychology+of+love

You might like A General Theory of Love. It's the only book on the subject I've read, but I found it interesting and easy to follow.

I recommend reading "A General Theory of Love" https://www.amazon.com/General-Theory-Love-Thomas-Lewis/dp/0375709223

One way to try to stop dating men is to try to figure out the dynamic and learn how to ID it early, and avoid those types of situations. But that doesn't change the fact that your status quo is to crave those situations that are unhealthy, but what you are most used to.

Another approach is to learn healthier attachment, to the point that what you want has fundamentally changed, and that the unhealthy patterns just don't do it for you any more.

The book I recommended is really great for getting an overview sense of how attachment works.

Then, trying to apply it to create situations where safe attachment can take place, and the other person(s) have a healthier, calmer limbic system than you. Therapy, healing friendships, healthy social situations--whatever situations can help "bring you up" to a more connected approach to the world.