Reddit reviews A Grief Out of Season: When Your Parents Divorce in Your Adult Years

I don't have anything to offer your uncle directly, but from my own experience I can tell you that just because your cousins are grown doesn't mean it won't be hard for them. The book A Grief Out of Season was helpful for my wife who was 24 when her parents divorced.

I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist, so I can't comment as to whether medication would benefit you - but you don't think it will, so that's a strong indication that it's not a good approach at this time.

However, I do think you should seek grief counseling in order to learn to engage and heal the emotional trauma. The root event (or set of events) described in your OP is your parents' divorce. That is a serious loss event in your life, and every indication from your OP and responses indicates, to me - again, not a professional counselor - that you've got significant grief to work through as a consequence of that loss. I strongly suspect that the career issues and seduction event would have played less strongly in your mind were your emotional well-being intact when those things happened.

Grief counseling might be found in group meetings or with a licensed mental health professional. Look for folks/groups who specialize in dealing with the aftermath of parental divorce.

Here are some books that may be helpful:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Way-They-Were-Lifetime/dp/1400082102

http://www.amazon.com/Grief-Out-Season-Parents-Divorce/dp/0316363510/

A grief counselor would have better recommendations - my recommendation is you find grief counseling.

Uggg... I'm sorry. I've been there and it's awful. The worst part for me was thinking that my family had been lying to me for a long time. Like in all those great family memories it turns out I was the only one having a good time and my parents were just pretending. (FWIW, that messed me up for a long time by making me want to keep my guard up with my own romantic partners.)

In terms of advice, though, there are two books I know of:
A Grief Out of Season and The Way They Were

I can recommend A Grief Out of Season - I bought it and it helped. The Way They Were wasn't out yet when I was going through my shit.

I highly recommend the book A Grief Out of Season.

It's so weird as an adult... and I would get so angry when people would say, "At least it didn't happen when you were a kid."

Also, I lived far away, so it was so weird for me to come home for the holidays and everything was just so different. I was so not prepared for it.