Reddit Reddit reviews A Practical Wedding: Creative Ideas for Planning a Beautiful, Affordable, and Meaningful Celebration

We found 41 Reddit comments about A Practical Wedding: Creative Ideas for Planning a Beautiful, Affordable, and Meaningful Celebration. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

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41 Reddit comments about A Practical Wedding: Creative Ideas for Planning a Beautiful, Affordable, and Meaningful Celebration:

u/sugar1510 · 49 pointsr/weddingplanning

Weddings used to be planned by mothers of the bride who had lots of experience planning and hosting social events. Nowadays, most often the bride plans the wedding with no experience whatsoever in planning large events.

I suggest the two of you take a few steps back, starting with defining a budget. Perhaps you have already done that. Then develop a guest list in several parts:

- the people who absolutely must be there with, and for you

-the next circle of guests you would like to have with you if money and venue allows

- the list of people your families have given you, but whom you have never met.

If the two of you are paying for your wedding, prepare a simple response to your parents' requests "I'm sorry, we can;t afford that." If they offer money, don't do anything or make any changes until the money is in your bank account.

Have an earnest conversation about what is important to the two of you for your wedding. You can host a smaller number of guests in a different manner than a lengthy guest list.

If he wants more guests, he has to come up with a way to host that number of guests. Often the solution will be changing the type of reception. You will be just as married with an early afternoon ceremony, followed by a cake and punch reception, as you would be with a plated dinner and dancing.

Other options would be mid morning wedding followed by brunch, booking a private dining room at a restaurant ( no charge for the room, only a food minimum ,that's what we did), or even booking out a favorite neighborhood pasta place).

Open Table has a list of restaurants with private dining rooms for many cities.

Consider venues that don't make a living hosting weddings: historical buidings, art galleries, museums, National, State, or Municipal Park buildings, your Alma Maters , a summer camp before or after the season,etc.

I cannot stress enough that this is a joint project. He doesn't get to keep extending the guest list and expect you to find some way to accommodate all the extra people.

Do you have a copy of https://www.amazon.com/Practical-Wedding-Affordable-Meaningful-Celebration/dp/0738215155

If not, I suggest you start there.

u/DoctorFaustus · 29 pointsr/wedding

No, I would not feel cheated. Those people are being ridiculous. Careful about reading anything on the Knot, you will start feeling insufficient very quickly and for no good reason. I highly recommend APracticalWedding.com and the book that goes with it; it's extremely refreshing to hear a sane person speak about weddings after being immersed in the likes of The Knot and other popular wedding blogs.

u/Ivennelluin · 14 pointsr/ToastCrumbs

A Practical Wedding was a lifesaver for me when I was wedding planning. There's all kinds of information there, plus lots of examples of different types of weddings.

The woman who started the blog has two wedding planning books. I only read the [first one] (http://www.amazon.com/Practical-Wedding-Affordable-Meaningful-Celebration/dp/0738215155). The second is fairly recent, so well after I got married.

u/saracuda · 13 pointsr/weddingplanning

Optimistic guest list & budget first.

  • Optimistic guest list:
    All the family & friends you would love to invite if money and space were no object. Get them all in there, all the cousins, first cousins once removed, second cousins, grand aunts/uncles, family friends, college friends, high schools friends, etc. etc. Use this as your first draft to start narrowing down later for your final list. It's helpful to start noting who are "Must Invite"s, "Really Want"s, and "Not Necessary"s now, but this step can wait until later - Labeling sounds harsh, but if you have a first draft of 300+ guests and can't afford that, then you have some tough decisions to make sooner or later, and no one needs to know they were ever even on the first draft as a Not Necessary.

  • Initial Budget:
    First part is to figure out: Who's paying? Your parents? Your SO's parents? Both parents? You guys? A combination of contributions? Have the money talk. It's only awkward if you make it awkward - there are plenty of resources online that will help you approach this subject with your families.
    If you decided to go with paying for it yourselves, start figuring out how much you each can put away each month. Set a rough timeline (e.g. Fall 2018), find out how much you can save by the end of that timeline. Not comfortable with the number? Time to consider pushing the timeline out and seeing what that number would look like.

    This is really to get a sense of the amount you can afford. The step after this is researching your options.

  1. Sit down with your SO and discuss what sort of wedding you'd like.

    A courthouse wedding?
    An intimate 20-person wedding at your favorite local pub?
    A grand Catholic Church wedding with 200 guests at a swanky downtown hotel?
    A wedding on a ranch?
    A rustic barn wedding?
    A tropical destination wedding?

  2. After getting an idea what you'd like you can begin researching the cost of that kind of wedding. Ask people you know who have weddings that you liked; if you ask respectfully many are just fine sharing what their budget was.

    If it turns out the wedding you really wished for is way out of your price range, then by now you should start being able to assess the cost in your area. You can pivot and go a different route for something that's in your budget, or begin prioritizing things as are important and less important to you to decide where you can slash your budget and save costs. (e.g. Save ~$400 by going with paperless Save the Dates and Invitations, do Online RSVPs, get a pre-owned wedding gown, etc.)

  3. Begin slimming down your guest list - one of the simplest ways to cut costs, and one of the most difficult things to do.

    ---

    I'm getting a little ahead, don't be overwhelmed - you'll learn things in stages, and the more you learn the more questions you'll have. You'll start getting a feel for the terminology and things may begin to feel a little more comfortable.

    Some thoughts on the Initial Budget

  • If your families offer to contribute a monetary sum, beware: if your families are drama prone or manipulative they will use this against you. They will feel entitled to not only having their opinions and suggestions heard, but have them acted upon regardless if it's what you wished for your wedding. You can, and should, set boundaries early - but it will not change anything if they have a history of acting in such a matter.
  • Do not go into debt for your wedding. Do not take out a personal loan. Do not put massive charges on a credit card that you aren't able to pay off in a timely manner.

    Other, less stressful, starting points:

  • Start browsing Pinterest for theme and color ideas, dress looks, cakes, venue decor, bridal hair, etc. You'll end up forgetting about 98% of these, but it's a nice way to fill the time.
  • Pick up some planning guides or books; one that is recommended here is A Practical Wedding. Start reading or check out articles online to get a sense of what all is involved.
  • Lurk Weddit! And post! Ask questions, contribute in conversations.

    Small advice: When you're browsing options and upset at settling on something due to price, schedule, practicality, etc. remember this - your guests will never know what an option could have been, they will only know what you went with. They will not be comparing the options, and have no chance to be upset. Don't get hung up on something out of reach.
u/AmeriqanTreeSparrow · 13 pointsr/weddingplanning

So, there's nothing wrong with getting a book if you're a pen/paper kind of organized (I am too, I HAVE to write things down). Yes there are tons of online resources but some people just need to write things down and that's totally fine. But that book is from 2004 which is 12 years old, and just looking at the cover I can tell it's probably a veryyyyy traditional book. Yes I judge books by their covers.

If you want something a little more modern I would suggest getting one of these:

u/alwaysdaruma · 13 pointsr/weddingplanning

What about a wedding planner book? https://www.amazon.com/Practical-Wedding-Affordable-Meaningful-Celebration/dp/0738215155 I've heard great things about this one.

Could go a little fun/silly and buy her one of those tumblers or mugs that say things like "Bride to Be" or "Does This Ring Make Me Look Engaged" or something.

Could also do one of those coupon books. "This Coupon is good for One (1) Hour of Wedding Planning Assistance" or "This Coupon is good for Fifty (50) Hand-Addressed Envelopes" or stuff like that?

u/oatmeal_pie · 12 pointsr/MakeupRehab

Congratulations on your engagement and best wishes!

Warning: the wedding magazines and blogs are full of temptations to spend lots of money on things you don't need. It helped me to keep in mind that the only things you really need for a wedding are a willing partner, an officiant, and a marriage license. Everything else is optional. A Practical Wedding (both the book and the website) provided excellent advice to avoid the wedding consumerism and keep things in perspective.

u/hawps · 9 pointsr/weddingplanning

Agreed to cuts! We didn't want to do it, but once we cut kids, got strict with plus ones, cut grandparent's siblings/their kids (we're only inviting OUR g-rents, aunts/uncles, and cousins, not our parents' aunts/uncles/cousins) and ditched some work friends (and now a year later we don't even work with most of those people anymore!) we were able to get down from over 180 to about 125. All of those people add up really fast!

Another book recommendation that I really enjoyed was A Practical Wedding.

u/agreensandcastle · 9 pointsr/weddingplanning

A practical wedding book? It’s a big favorite. And depending on budget maybe a gift card to restaurant/takeout place. To help with planning exhaustion or just need a date but ‘saving for wedding’

Edited to add:
A Practical Wedding: Creative Ideas for Planning a Beautiful, Affordable, and Meaningful Celebration https://www.amazon.com/dp/0738215155/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_6trIDbQVC7HA8


This one is not a ‘planner’ but a guide.

u/-taradactyl- · 7 pointsr/weddingplanning

I think you should read this book together: A Practical Wedding: Creative Ideas for Planning a Beautiful, Affordable, and Meaningful Celebration https://www.amazon.com/dp/0738215155/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_XsiDzbPTVR2EG

Then take it from there. Before I read this book it hadn't occurred to me that we may want different weddings. Turns out we wanted to same thing. Phew!

Make a list of what you each want and why. Maybe there's a sentimental reason. Maybe being the center of attention gives you anxiety. Are there budget restrictions?

You'll probably both need to compromise but that's what love is about!

u/raorao · 7 pointsr/DesiWeddings

Congrats! My (caucasian) wife and I just had our Indian wedding a few months ago -- some big picture advice:

  • A lot of traditional wedding advice won't apply to you. Things like budget guidelines, planning timelines, day-of scheduling templates -- none of that stuff really works for an Indian wedding. Which is freeing, in some ways -- you don't have to worry about your wedding being cookie-cutter, or boring! But it means there are a lot more decisions to make.

  • You should spend a lot of time early on just talking with your partner about what you want the event to feel like, for you and your guests. My partner and I got engaged in September 2017, and basically spent the next four months trying to figure out the vibe we wanted. We didn't book our first vendor until February 2018, for our wedding in August 2018. The book A Practical Wedding really helped guide those conversations for us.

  • If you do choose to do an Indian wedding, find yourself a day-of coordinator experienced in Indian weddings. They'll help you find all the desi-specific wedding vendors, and give you advice on how a fusion ceremony might go.

  • Avoid the impulse to have two separate weddings -- the costs will skyrocket, and, inevitably, one ceremony will feel like the "real" wedding. If you can, you should try to blend the parts of the two ceremonies that you care about. It will end up feeling more personal.

  • And finally, there are very few rules you have to follow. Just by the fact that you are a mixed-race couple, this wedding will be non-traditional. lean into that -- it can be as long as you want, as many days as you want, with as many people as you want. The most important part is that you have the perfect wedding for you.

    Happy to chat if you have any questions -- feel free to DM!
u/remijp · 6 pointsr/weddingplanning
u/I_will_slap_you · 5 pointsr/weddingplanning

Pretty ring! If I were you, I'd put the band away and save it to use for a wedding band. Then your to-do list is one down already.

You don't have to do a dance reception. You also don't have to invite everyone you can think of. If you keep it small, and are very selective about what traditions are important to you (e.g. maybe cake is a must-have, but it's not important to you to have a ballgown), then you can definitely do it for 10k. Maybe an outdoor ceremony followed by dinner at a ritzy restaurant? Or a church ceremony with a champagne brunch? A Practical Wedding by Meg Keene was really helpful when we started planning - you should both read it. Throw it on your Christmas list - my mom LOVED being able to buy me something wedding-related so soon after our December engagement last year. :)
I'd also highly recommend planning as a team. People say that your engagement is indicative of how you'll function in your marriage. It kills me to see posts of brides who feel isolated and overworked because their partners aren't interested in helping at all. The wedding is not a surprise party for the groom!

Edit: I should also add that the dedicated email has been awesome. We both put the account on our phones, so when a vendor emails back, we're both in the loop. We also set up a Google voice number to give out at expos and venue open houses. It forwards to my number and makes it easy to screen cold calls, but I can still answer calls from important vendors.

u/DeviousDaffodil · 5 pointsr/Weddingsunder10k

Another redditor recommended this book to me, and the author has a website. It's seriously a lifesaver. Have a cake and punch reception. Do whatever is right for you and your family. Debt is a tough way to start off a marriage. The book is a lifesaver, it has ideas and provides peace of mind.

u/egjg · 5 pointsr/weddingplanning

>What is your top advice for planning a wedding?

Get the book A Practical Wedding and read it. I've read a lot of wedding books and it's the best.

Honestly it sounds like you and your FH are not on the same page with this wedding at all. I think you guys should take a few steps back and get aligned on what you both want from this wedding, the role of (his) family in the wedding and in your marriage, how you're going to go about planning it, and so on – big picture stuff! – before you get to things like centerpieces and invitations.

One thing I do know is that it's considered rude to write anything about gifts on the invitation. Generally that sort of thing is handled by word of mouth (the parents spread the word) or by implication if you have a small or non-existent registry.

u/izumiiii · 5 pointsr/weddingplanning

It's a lot. I picked up some books at the library and just started to read a bit. I think this one has been good along with the planner: https://www.amazon.com/Practical-Wedding-Affordable-Meaningful-Celebration/dp/0738215155/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?keywords=Meg+Keene&qid=1571852948&s=books&sr=1-2

I like that they provide some guidance on figuring out the big picture and moving from there.
I also downloaded their spreadsheets and the knot app. They have a checklist option which seems nice and not overwhelming. And you get the bonus of feeling like you make progress. It's like 'look at dresses online' or other smaller easier tasks.

u/yeahhhbuoyyy · 5 pointsr/weddingplanning

I second the Practical Wedding website. I also recommend the book https://www.amazon.ca/Practical-Wedding-Affordable-Meaningful-Celebration/dp/0738215155

The first advice it gives is to just enjoy being engaged for at least 2 weeks before starting any serious planning.

(The ebook is only 2.99$)

u/abeezny · 5 pointsr/weddingplanning

First off, there is no perfect. We're lead to believe every wedding decision should be magical. Wow that's a lot of pressure to feel divinely inspired about minutia. In reality, you're simply planning a party and celebration of your relationship. That practical view doesn't make it any less wonderful!

Just remember that you can't make a wrong decision because there is no rigid, celestial plan - we're all making it up as we go! Some choices will matter to you more than others. It's really okay if you don't care about table linens, programs, or boutonnieres. Go with something you and your FH likes and move on happily.

I'm not sure how far into wedding planning you are, but the first thing you may need to do is get a general sense of the type of wedding you want. It's really hard to make decisions about little stuff when you don't have a big picture view in mind. I read A Practical Wedding by Meg Keene and it really helped me to envision the type of wedding I wanted.

Good luck and congrats!



u/volleyfrog134 · 4 pointsr/TrollXWeddings

The book A Practical Wedding really helped me deal with the "inadequacy" I was feeling (believe me, I still have to talk myself out of it sometimes) since we're choosing to just invite family. We're treating it more as the one (and probably only) chance we'll have to get all of our family together in one place to meet each other!

You can still have a beautiful wedding with even just you two! Don't feel pressured - It'll be your wedding and it will be awesome and beautiful!

u/wildbillhiccup · 4 pointsr/femalefashionadvice

Nothing has arrived yet, but I picked up some things on Black Friday and Cyber Monday.
stretchy burgundy pants
giant marled sweater
wool blend pants for the office
putty Pettys...I finally caved
new coat
And on the non-clothing side, I finally picked this up and I kind of hate myself for it, even though I've read it before and know it's much more useful and pragmatic than most wedding media.

u/facepizza · 3 pointsr/weddingplanning

Can commiserate about mom being overbearing.

My advice to you (based on your description of your mom maybe this isn't a good idea—but it's what I wish I had done about six months ago) is to have a "boundaries" conversation with your mother. Tell her that you appreciate her input, but that you are going to be making final decisions on things, and she's going to have to deal with it. Nicer than that, but you know. Something along the lines of "all you want is for me to happy, right? Okay, well, I will be much happier if you let me make my own decisions like an adult."

It also might be worth mentioning that weddings are just DIFFERENT now than they were whenever she got married. Trends, and "traditions" come and go, but none of it really MATTERS other than what you want to do, as long as you can afford it.

I also recommend reading A Practical Wedding, and for further reading, One Perfect Day: The Selling of the American Wedding. These books cover the topics of how when people talk about wedding "traditions", they're really only talking about things that have happened specifically in the Western world, mostly in the last 50 years. Brides didn't even wear white until about 100 years ago. The most historically "traditional" wedding you could have would be in the best dress you already own, with some flowers picked from your front garden, and it would take place in your living room.

I can't tell you how many times my mom pulled the "tradition" card during my planning and I called bullshit. It's liberating—try it!

P.S. Sorry for the wall of text...got carried away.

u/withbellson · 3 pointsr/weddingplanning

You are in great shape with inroads on some of those things already! The rest of it -- just start jotting down notes. I found it helpful to deal with things in clusters, like "people we need to hire" and "stuff we need to buy" and "things we need to make", instead of a huge flat list. One chunk at a time.

The Practical Wedding book was quite helpful too, particularly the first couple of chapters on how to get started and how to handle the inevitable list of things the wedding industry says you need to do. I really heartily recommend their philosophy of "sit down with your fiance and figure out the desired vibe of the wedding before you do anything else." It helps the other decisions fall into place. (No, we don't need sparkly chandeliers or an uber-beaded ball gown for our casual vibe wedding.)

u/[deleted] · 3 pointsr/weddingplanning

Girl, you better be a morning person, you will have to wake up at 6:30!

For this reason we opted for a 1-4 wedding. I cannot wake up early for the life of me. It was at an hour when people would be okay with hors d'oeuvres and cake and not expect a meal.

A morning wedding has a great opportunity for breakfast food, though! Omelets, crepes, mimosas, fresh fruit... I'm salivating thinking about it.

Okay, your questions:

  • A lot of people prefer early weddings, especially the older guests and children. You can always take a close group out for dinner after (where everyone pays their own way, if you like).

  • If you like making food, then yes. If the thought of spending a few days in a kitchen makes you queasy, then pay someone else to do that. Keep in mind that you will likely be doing this within a couple days of the wedding, unless you can find things that freeze well. Even if you freeze a lot, you will still need to thaw some things, heat some things, and designate someone to bring all the food safely. Safely includes making sure that meats and dairy don't give people food poisoning. It is entirely possible, don't get me wrong, but these logistics need to be kept in mind.

  • If you don't want a DJ, don't get one. Get an iPod or pay for Spotify so you can listen uninterrupted. People will dance if they want to. Maybe designate someone you know to "monitor" the device. Make sure the venue has equipment, like speakers.

  • Mostly considered in the wedding field, 70 is small. But that doesn't mean it's small for you!

    I really, really recommend you buy A Practical Wedding. She has a site, too, (www.apracticalwedding.com) but I seriously recommend buying the book.
u/_cool_beans_ · 3 pointsr/weddingplanning

I've just started reading their book (this one, not sure what the new book is like) and it actually has a ton of suggestions that are really helpful.

My favorite one: print out one of those ridiculous lists of things you need to do during wedding planning--you know, one that includes color coordinating everything and "searching for the right calligrapher." Take a pen and cross out all the things you don't need or want at your wedding (probs the calligrapher). Then go through what's left on the list, and circle the things you truly care about. For us, it was good food and a pretty venue that fit all our guests. Everything you haven't circled (for me, flowers, linens, colors) becomes a lower priority, and you have officially released yourself from stressing about those things. I've found this single activity incredibly helpful, since the wedding industry wants you to feel like every little detail must be agonized over and perfected.

Oh also, they have a mantra, "you won't remember how your wedding looked, you'll remember how it felt." And I like that.

u/fonziier · 3 pointsr/wedding

I really recommend this book

Also make a day of itinerary and give it to your wedding party and vendors. Everyone was so thankful I made an itinerary and it made the day go much smoother and cut out a toonn of stress.

Let people help you. Don't try to do everything by yourself. But in doing that, don't let people walk all over you either. It's your wedding, so try not getting pulled into the "I have to make everyone happy" circle of death. You really have to learn how to say no.

Also don't focus too much on the ceremony itself. It's really all about the relationship with your husband afterward. A lot of times people get so carried away with the wedding that they forget why they're getting married in the first place. I really recommend pre-marital counseling wether it is religiously focused or not. It really helped my husband and I's relationship grow stronger and we learned a ton about each other that we didn't know. We started really understanding each other and why we thought things should be a certain way and it made it easier to compromise on things.

u/strubes · 2 pointsr/weddingplanning

You should consider checking out this book: A Practical Wedding: Creative Ideas for Planning a Beautiful, Affordable, and Meaningful Celebration. It walks you and your partner through thinking about what kind of wedding you want and has some great exercises to help. It also has a great companion book that's about more of the vendor side of planning things, but I'd consider starting with this.

u/KnightsFan · 2 pointsr/weddingplanning

A Practical Wedding is one of the best resources my fiancée and me have found. The advice will help to keep you from getting caught up in the consumerist frenzy that is wedding planning in 2016. There's a general book on the ideas and an actual planner to help with the specifics.


Edit to add: And the wedding mission statement /u/PartOfIt is referring to is the idea that you figure out what type of wedding you want. Here's a good write-up about one couple's.

u/themintyness · 2 pointsr/weddingplanning

Photographer, dress/accessories, DJ, officiant, catering/alcohol (if it's not included with the venue), planner or day of coordinator (if you want), makeup and hair, florist. Not necessarily in that order.

Also recommend getting A Practical Wedding.

u/PeggyAnne08 · 2 pointsr/weddingplanning

I was you 6 months ago.

I first started with "costofwedding.com" to understand what the average cost of weddings were in the area I was going to get married to decide what I should expect for budget. Then determined if that budget was right for me.

I also highly highly recommend A Practical Wedding's book. It's recommended a lot on this sub, but I found it literally life saving. It helped me first decide what I wanted out of my wedding, what were the areas I wanted to put my money into, and then how to get started.

this will be weird advice, because I found it weird too, but just start moving forward. I had no idea what I wanted my wedding to look or feel like. But I found a venue that met my logistical and financial needs AND then I loved the look and feel of it. I start basing other decisions on that aesthetic and now I'm 4 months later with a photographer, DJ and a cake!

u/missymissyD · 2 pointsr/weddingplanning

i bought this book, i got it cheap second hand, and i found it really helpful.

u/etherealclarity · 2 pointsr/AskReddit

Not married - or engaged (but you know that).

However, I'm guessing that part of the reason people are telling you that you'll regret not having a wedding is because THEY would regret not having (or not having had) a wedding. That has nothing to do with you. If eloping feels like the right choice for the two of you, then DO IT!

There will probably be some people who are disappointed or hurt if you elope (and not just because they are missing out on the free booze). Some people really love weddings, and want to share that moment of joy for the two of you. But just because some people may be disappointed or hurt doesn't mean that eloping is the wrong choice. Just go into it with your eyes open.

I bought this book (sad, I know, considering I am not yet engaged) and it has a few really lovely passages on elopement.

>With elopements, even more than with regular weddings, you have to come face-to-face with the fact that your decisions might upset people in your lives. And that's hard. Part of getting married is forming a new family unit and prioritizing the needs of that new family. Lindsay Whitfield wrote her parents a letter explaining their choice to elope, and said, "I hoped that they would understand that we were doing things in a way that was right for us," In a sense, this is true whether you elope or not. But knowing that does not make it easy to deal with hurt feelings. Jessica Flaherty said, "I am relatively unfazed, and I am still married despite the limited discontent. I appreciate that people may be disappointed to not share our day with us, but I hope they all know they were there in spirit." Even with some family displeasure, for women who went with their heart, the rewards of eloping were worth the limited pain. Lindsay Whitfield told me that even a year later, when having trouble sleeping at night she would "replay our wedding day in my head and smile myself to sleep."

>Elopement is not for the faint of heart. It takes firmness of purpose to fly in the face of Everything That Is Expected and run off to get married with no fuss and no bother. But if you know in your heart of hearts that elopement is for you? Be brave. And remember that you can throw a huge party later to celebrate your marriage, and you can throw an anniversary party any year that you want to celebrate what really matters--the family you made together.

Anyway. Search your gut. If your gut is telling you to elope, do it. And if not, don't. (If you'd rather have your friends and family there and it's just about the money, have a small wedding. And if you do that, buy the book I just linked to, because it's really quite wise about all the other stuff, not just elopement.)

u/slates · 2 pointsr/wedding

A Practical Wedding JUST released a book!

u/miss-clavel · 1 pointr/weddingplanning

The beginning was very difficult--trying to lock down ideas, a budget, guest list, and vendors... Then about two months before the wedding (when a things dependent on a timeline started rolling out), my stress kicked back into high gear.

I feel very lucky that I have a supportive family and bridal party, but FH just...doesn't. I'm kind of resentful on his behalf, tbh. Spending so much money (which we have) is also something I don't feel so great about. I tried to roll with punches and keep things low-key, but I can't help but feel like the ante has been upped hardcore. I'm afraid and stressed that expectations won't be met and somehow the day will be RUINED.

I get married on September 30, and I really, really, really wish we had just eloped. </vent>

But! You asked for advice. Here's what I'd recommend:

  1. Choose a long engagement. This helps you plan and save $$.
  2. Make a shared email account for you both to use and contact vendors.
  3. Google sheets are your friend! Keep lists of people you've contacted, their quotes, etc. It's easy to forget since vendors won't get in touch ASAP, or some will be pushy, etc.
  4. Prioritize early and often. Make decisions and move on.
  5. Hire a coordinator. Ours was the best money we've spent this whole process.
  6. Don't procrastinate!

    I'd also recommend reading one of Meg Keene's books about wedding planning.

    And finally...congratulations!
u/weddinglava · 1 pointr/wedding
u/riotousgrowlz · 1 pointr/weddingplanning

I think it's really important to spend a few weeks just soaking in being engaged. Talk a lot to your partner about what they want out of a wedding and figure out what you want. Probably he hasn't thought about what he wants as much as you have, but maybe he has. I really liked reading the A Practical Wedding book because it gave me a lot of perspective on the purpose of weddings and the bullshit of some so-called "traditions" that were invented by marketers. I read a lot of it out loud to my partner and we really changed our vision after talking about what we wanted it to be like.

Don't be in such a rush to plan that you plan the wedding you think you should want instead of the wedding you actually do want. It was really helpful to have a mission/vibe/concept of the wedding we wanted before we started to plan so that we could make choices based on "does this fit with our vision?" or "is this something we feel obligated to do?".

Also I highly recommend doing a pre-wedding mini-moon. We went a way for the weekend (stayed at a hotel a few miles from our house) about eight weeks before the wedding and didn't talk about wedding planning or work that needed to get done. It helped keep us sane in those last few months before the wedding.

u/Neuro_nerdo · 1 pointr/weddingplanning

Here is the Amazon link to the book. It's a pretty short read, and it makes some great points about the many cultural issues and expectations surrounding weddings (and how many of them are kinda bullshit).

u/calenlily · 1 pointr/weddingplanning

Seconding the recommendation of APW and the APW Planner. Also the original APW book ( https://www.amazon.com/Practical-Wedding-Affordable-Meaningful-Celebration/dp/0738215155 ), I think it’s focus on the philosophy of what a wedding is would be particularly helpful for OP.

u/snorklax · 1 pointr/weddingplanning

My future sister in law got us a bottle of champagne, a small cake to split, and bought me a bunch of bridal magazines - at that point I was so excited to get the magazines because planning was really just getting ideas and having fun with it. I'd get a few of those!

Now that I've been through the rigors of getting engaged and planning a wedding, I just bought the book version of A Practical Wedding for another friend who's temperament is similar to mine (see: is a fellow worrying introvert!)

I got a few wedding books and guides as gifts, mostly from the Knot, and while they were fun and helpful at first the timelines were kind of unrealistic and the budgeting pages, while there, just sort of assume you have $50k to drop on your wedding and want to do everything by the book. I wished I'd had a guide like A Practical Wedding earlier in the process!

u/sonorangal · 1 pointr/weddingplanning

Oh, I know exactly how you feel! It does get better!

  1. Make a (preliminary) guest list to get an idea of what you need out of a venue. 2. Fantasize with your FH about what you two want in a wedding 3. discuss budget, with whomever that may involve (just FH and/ or your families) 4. find a venue that fits. Everything else becomes more clear after those items have been addressed. Truly. We did #3 and #4 around the same time- I ended up making a spreadsheet that detailed pricing, pros/ cons, and other details/ needs that were important to us for the few venues we were considering, along with others that we weren't that stoked on to provide different views of pricing in our area. Once we had a venue and a wedding date, it really did become more real and more straightforward.

    As for books, I purchased a few, and only one has been useful- A Practical Wedding. I didn't use the planner binder I purchased- I just ended up making a big GoogleDocs spreadsheet so I can access it whenever I need to.

    You've got this.
u/hokaypotato · 1 pointr/weddingplanning

It's the first or second chapter in this book, which also includes plenty of actual wedding planning stuff.

u/jkc632 · 1 pointr/weddingplanning

PSA: Check your local library! I borrowed the kindle version of the original book for free and am picking up a copy of this wedding planner tomorrow.

Edit: Forgot to say that I am almost done with the original and love it so much that I am going back for the planner!