Reddit reviews ACT Made Simple: An Easy-To-Read Primer on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (The New Harbinger Made Simple Series)

You can not change the past, and you can not change the beliefs of others. You are right - this sort of abuse and toxicity can permeate a whole family. Sometimes there is no solution apart from looking after yourself, There is no point in joining in the craziness just to prove you are right & they are wrong.

I suggest you talk to a therapist, including Acceptance & Commitment.

www.amazon.com/gp/product/1572247053


https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/two-takes-depression/201102/acceptance-and-commitment-therapy


Whether it be a situation you cannot control, a personality trait that is hard to change or an emotion that overwhelms, accepting it can allow you to move forward. Obsessing, worrying and playing things over and over keep you stuck. In this sense, asking why can leave you helpless. ACT invites you to accept the reality and work with what you have.

I read ACT Made Simple by Russ Harris, maybe 18 months ago and still refer back to it. I love this book. I knew virtually nothing about ACT before that and the book/resources make it feel very approachable and usable.

Well that's also a workbook, so it's meant for the layperson. I would recommend "ACT Made Simple" by Russ Harris. I love ACT, but I don't believe in pushing it on people. I'm only mentioning it because of the modalities you've listed in your initial answer. ACT utilizes in-session present-moment awareness (Gestalt), responding to thoughts (CBT; although it takes a different approach), Mindfulness, Values (Logotherapy), and committed action (CBT, SFBT). It draws on all of these therapies, as well as other modalities, such as emotion-focused therapy, to create what I consider a very comprehensive model that allows one to be eclectic, while also being true to the model. I am biased, but I love it. Start with "ACT Made Simple". I think you can read the first couple of chapters on Amazon's preview.

https://www.amazon.com/ACT-Made-Simple-Easy-Read/dp/1572247053

> What happens when someone you thought was a friend just says that they let you lean on them because you're needy and you were having a rough time?

I don't quite understand what you're saying: that's sort of what friends are supposed to do (let you lean on them when times are rough). Are you worried that they're only listening to you out of pity? That may be true, but you could also be selling them a bit short. If perhaps they feel you are leaning on them too much, it might be wise to cut back with that one particular friend and rely on someone else as well to talk to, but it is important to talk to someone.

If you're getting stuck in these vicious cycles and circular thinking, you should really see a therapist, because that's what they shine at untangling. The only way to break a vicious cycle is to throw a wrench in the whole thing and go from there. If you find that you're dealing with your depression by talking to the same person, and you say the same thing, in the same way, at the same time after having eaten the same sandwhich for lunch, and that he rolls his eyes at you the same way he did the 14 other times he heard you say exactly the same thing, maybe it's time to try something different. To go back to my being in a hole analogy, maybe that means that you stop trying to dig yourself out of the hole by doing exactly the same thing you've been doing for so long. After all, it hasn't gotten you out. And that's all beating yourself up as done: keep you in exactly the same place.

I had a lot of success with ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). It has a strong focus on mindfulness activities, and has a strong body of empirical research (which isn't as common as you might think) to back up its use. I also ripped my analogy straight from an ACT text, so if you didn't think it was the most retarded thing you've ever heard you might want to check out the following books.

A quick ACT primer:
http://www.socialworktoday.com/archive/090208p36.shtml


The ACT "Bible". This one is more of a clinical manual but it is fairly accessible.

ACT Made Simple The content of the above made for non clinicians.

Things might go terribly, horribly wrong. This one is meant for clients, and isn't really a self help book. There's a big focus on dealing with anxiety, which may not apply so much too you but the strategies for cognitive defusion are kind of the same as what I think an ACT therapist would recommend for you to do.

Find an ACT therapist:
http://contextualpsychology.org/civicrm/profile?gid=17&reset=1&force=1
or
www.psychologytoday.com "Find a therapist"

Awesome! I take it you're not seeing clients yet. I'm applying to internship this year (ugh!). I'm going to give you a reading list because I'm super biased about all this stuff. You have no obligation to read anything I suggest. I'm a contemporary behavior therapy person myself. (ACT, DBT, BA, FAP, MI).

Randomized trial of behavioral activation, cognitive therapy, and antidepressant medication in the acute treatment of adults with major depression. Lead author is Sona Dimidjian (2006) That builds off a Jacobson study (http://tinyurl.com/lb82qhj).

http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Functional-Analytic-Psychotherapy-Behaviorism/dp/0387097864 (this form of therapy could use any uncomfortable situations about your hand to become a therapeutic tool.)

http://www.amazon.com/ACT-Made-Simple-Easy---Read/dp/1572247053/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1377316771&sr=1-1&keywords=act+made+simple This is the biggest modern behavior therapy. It's based of relational frame theory (http://www.amazon.com/Learning-RFT-Introduction-Relational-Application/dp/1572249064/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1377316825&sr=1-1&keywords=learning+rft)

Last book I'll recommend is the main DBT book. (http://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavioral-Treatment-Borderline-Personality-Disorder/dp/0898621836)

For sure read the first two articles. They're super important. The rest is just the stuff I'm interested in because I'm biased. Let me know if you ever want to nerd out about the behavioral side of CBT.