Reddit reviews Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome

My tip for you (and her) is reading up on Autism and Asperger's syndrome.

I'd recommend this book as it holds many insights into females with AS.

Then take it from there.

More likely it's after the book of the same name.

the Aspergirls book may be helpful.
http://www.amazon.com/Aspergirls-Empowering-Females-Asperger-Syndrome/dp/1849058261
I think there is also a "22 things" about dating an aspergirl.
besides that ask your girlfriend. everyone has different quirks.
Being willing to understand is awesome, keep that up! :)

Have you read aspergirls by Rudy Simone? There is a section she talks about how FAAB aspergers are much more likely to have a masculine way of thinking and assign themselves as trans. It is apparently something with the way our brains work. Furthermore, there is an entire section on asexuality in that book as well. Reading your passage, I knew before you said you had aspergers that you have it!

I fellow aspergers person! Youre not alone in the way you feel! My best friend is exactly like you (also an aspie). I can identify with a lot of your post as well, both she and I identify as GQ.

amazon link to aspergirls

I really liked this book: https://www.amazon.com/Aspergirls-Empowering-Females-Asperger-Syndrome/dp/1849058261 It's written by a woman on the spectrum and has some great tips and insights into your strengths as an autistic woman (and ways to compensate for your weaknesses).





If you want to pursue psychiatry, graduate school programs usually have pay-by-income programs.

Well done on getting your diagnosis, I hope it's at least some weight off your mind to know that some of your 'odd' perceptions/experiences are 'only to be expected' (if you see what I mean). I felt relieved when I got my AS diagnosis at 29 since I too was really struggling with anxiety/depression, and I found out how 'normal' it was for undiagnosed Aspies to feel the same.

1. With your first question I can only say "Stay relaxed. There is a 'right person' for you out there somewhere." I was in an on-again off again relationship for six years, and I found that one by getting chatting to a girl in a pub one day. If you're on dating sites and/or go to pubs/bars/coffee shops, then you're half of the way there already. It's a huge cliché but you can cut out a lot of pain/effort/anxiety by not pretending to be someone else in order to get a GF. "Be yourself", and talk to people you like. Oh, and if you're worried about people taking certain things the wrong way, try your best to communicate with them as much as possible. Explain that 'I really like you, and don't want you to feel [X, Y, or Z], so please can you let me know if you ever feel worried about this.'
   
   
2. (I posted this the other day):
   I'm happy I got an Aspergers diagnosis because (amongst other things) I was able to identify causal links between particular situations and personal responses/outcomes that had not occurred to me previously (e.g. - social events make me really tired really quickly, and interpersonal communication problems were causing me to drink more than I should).
   It also (crucially) gave me a 'solid reason' why I want to be on my own a lot of the time. This stuff was making me feel really guilty, because I was concerned that others would think I hated them. I was beating myself up, depressed and anxious. Since I got the diagnosis I can say "I'm sorry, I just need to take some time out here", or "I'm sorry, I'm going to take a rain check on that, but I'll message you later".
   TL;DR: It makes me feel less guilty to know there is a structural difference in my brain that makes me think/feel/need certain things.
   I would recommend starting out by reading Steve Silbermann's book 'Neurotribes'. If you're female, there are books like 'Aspergirls' by Rudy Simone which may be of particular interest. I'm a big fan of Prof Tony Attwood; he's got a huge book out called 'The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome', which is a great reference guide. I'd also recommend checking out some of his talks on YouTube, especially 'Could it be Aspergers?'.
   
   
   
3. Other than using online forums, I'd recommend having a look for local meets/support groups in your area. I can't be sure about the U.S./rest of the World, but here in the UK there are council initiatives/free workshops/discount services run in most places for people on the spectrum. Either pop into your local Citizen's Advice Bureau or check online on your council's website.
   
   If you want me to expand on any of this info, please let me know and I'll see what I can do. Good luck with everything; it sounds like we're in a very similar situation :)
   
   EDIT: I wrote some general stuff about coping with anxiety in this thread over on r/anxiety.
   
   
   

I am afraid that there is no simple answer. Partly you have to reflect upon what you want to get out of one night stands. What appeals to you about them? What do you hope for with them? Do you want more or are you trying to make sense of the one you posted about originally?

Speaking for myself I would not have a one night stand unless I were having some quality communication and connection with the person in question.

The other thing is to develop your knowledge and experience, and for this there are multiple paths that you can explore. Take time, research, reflect, and speak to people with some knowledge and expertise in the area. There are a huge amount of sex educators in USA in particular that specialise in adult human sexuality, many of them have podcasts. I really like Sex Nerd Sandra, she has a very scientific and positive approach to everything she does. I have found it very eye opening to hear about lots of peoples different experiences, and it has led me to think about things differently and experiment in ways I hadn't formely considered.

I tried looking for some stuff for you to read, I am honestly shocked at how little there is for people on the spectrum! A lot of seemed aimed at parents or neurotypicals, BUT I did find a couple that might be of interest to you:

The Autism Spectrum Guide to Sexuality and Relationships

Aspergirls

Sex, Sexuality and the Autism Spectrum

Sex and everything related to sex is one of the hardest things us adults have to deal with, you are very much not alone in seeking out answers, that is why I am here too.

Thanks, friend. It's nice to know I'm not alone.

Have you ever read Aspergirls by Rudy Simone? It's an amazing book by a lady aspie. It really validated my experiences and feelings. I don't usually shill, but I'd recommend it to every female aspie and their families and friends.

A few things:

1. There are other ways to "treat" anxiety besides medication. I have had a HUGE improvement just with regular exercise (3-6 days per week cardio, 2-3 days strength training) and changing my diet (cutting back on sugar and refined carbs). I also did an online CBT program https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome
   
   
   
   
2. The thing to keep in mind throughout your job search: small incremental changes. You need to identify what needs to change and what you can do about it. Like, is not being able to drive hurting your options? You could take a lesson. Look for the long-term solutions and try to focus as much as you can on the big picture.
   
   
   
   
3. Identify your strengths. I bet that you can do more types of work than you are thinking about right now. I love this book, you might be able to find some inspiration/guidance in it (check your local library) https://www.amazon.com/Aspergirls-Empowering-Females-Asperger-Syndrome/dp/1849058261