Reddit reviews Becoming a Visible Man

If you come to these boards often, you know that our first response is going to be to get a good therapist. You have also already heard advice to listen to yourself, confront your inner shame, take small steps, yadda yadda.

It's all very true, and it's the most important advice. But to you (and all the other lurkers out there) I want to address something you mention only in passing:

> every time I come to these boards I always feel like such a sham.

You are gender variant, you belong here.
I can't say that enough, because I felt exactly as you did for years. Heck, I was almost a year into HRT, had basically finished electrolysis and had more or less been living 90% full-time for months, and I still felt overpoweringly apprehensive about posting to a board or forum for advice or empathy. There were real trans people there! I was so alone for so long, and stayed away from exactly those who would be able to understand.

Read Serano, Bornstein, Greene, Bergman & Stryker. Even those you don't identify with will bring you closer to the community. Respect the genderfuckers; by distorting normativity they stretch comfort zones to fit us with room to spare. Love and respect trans men; they will defend you with the aggressive passion denied to us by our own insecurity and systemic transmisogyny. Be fucking proud to associate with some of the strongest and most amazing people you will ever meet (virtually or in person) in your life.

But for God's sake don't pull away because you don't think you belong. No matter where you end up going or who you end up being, we consider you a part of our community regardless, and you'll always be welcome.

(I usually throw in a lot of caveats that I don't speak for everyone, that my posts are just one woman's opinion and YMMV. In this case though, I do speak for all of us, and I'll call out anyone who disagrees.)

I read it so long ago, but Becoming a Visible Man by Jamison Green, includes I think at least one partner staying with him through the transition. He had been living with a woman as a lesbian, and I think, I think, they stay together.

I think the best book written by a woman about her experience is Whipping Girl by Julia Serano, but the excellence is mostly in the politics and science. I can't remember offhand that she said much about relationships during her transition phase.

Here's my list so far. It's a mix of FTM-specific, general trans, and gender studies books, including essays, memoir, and more academic works. In no particular order:

Gender Trouble by Judith Butler


Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us by Kate Bornstein

Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation by Kate Bornstein and S. Bear Bergman


Nina Here Nor There by Nick Krieger

Female Masculinity by Judith Halberstam

Nobody Passes - Rejecting the Rules of Gender and Conformity edited by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore


Whipping Girl by Julia Serano


How Sex Changed: A History of Transexuality in the United States by Joanne Meyerowitz

Becoming a Visible Man by Jamison Green

Queer Theory, Gender Theory: An Instant Primer by Riki Wilchins

PoMoSexuals: Challenging Assumptions About Gender and Sexuality edited by Carol Queen

Genderqueer: Voices From Beyond the Sexual Binary edited by Joan Nestle

From the Inside Out: Radical Gender Transformation, FTM and Beyond edited by Morty Diamond

Second Son by Ryan Sallans

Why are Faggots So Afraid of Faggots? by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore

and the must-read fiction:

Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg

I'll edit this if I can find any others, I'm probably missing a couple. Been a big non-fiction reading year for me!

EDIT: Edited to add links, and a few more on my wish list I haven't picked up yet.

Letters for my Brothers: Transitional Wisdom in Retrospect edited By Megan M. Rohrer, M.Div. & Zander Keig, M.SW.

That's Revolting!: Queer Strategies for Resisting Assimilation edited by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore

Transgender Voices: Beyond Women and Men by Lori B. Girshick

Just Add Hormones: An Insider's Guide to the Transsexual Experience by Matt Kailey

The Testosterone Files: My Hormonal and Social Transformation from Female to Male by Max Wolf Valerio

I don't think you understand the difference between biological sex and gender identity.

Edit: For more understanding, I would advise that you read the beginning part of the book "Becoming a Visible Man". He brings up some things I think you may be interested in. Look inside ;)

One other thing, I've been reading Jamison Green's book "Becoming a Visible Man" and I highly recommend it. He's a trans guy and a great role model for all trans people.

http://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Visible-Man-Jamison-Green/dp/082651457X

Jamison Green's Becoming a Visible Man and Max Wolf Valerio's The Testosterone Files might be up your alley. Both transitioned later in life and both spent a fair amount of identifying as lesbians before transitioning. You might also find Matt Kailey's Just Add Hormones illuminating, he's a gay trans man who transitioned in his 40's. Also, not a book, but I always personally found that Romeos resonated with me more than anything else and somewhat outside of the typical trans narrative.

Letters For My Brothers - Zander Keig

Testo Junkie - Paul Preciado

Becoming a Visible Man - Jamison Green

From the Inside Out - Morty Diamond

Self Made Men - Henry Rubin !! author is a cis man !!


Also! If you want to read more about trans stuff along with some other people from this sub, feel free to check out our monthly reading group :)

Here's a link to our February thread

>How do cis people view trans men?

As females who think and act like females, but are only putting on a "male" act. You view us as females who look like males, or as women who think we're men. You might say "socialized female" but the result is exactly the same.

You make assumptions about our personality based on our genitalia ("trans men are more sensitive because AFAB!"), you make rude and invasive comments about our bodies, reference our genitalia in apropos of nothing, you're generally clueless about our experiences and mostly don't care to really learn.

Moreover, you don't read our narratives and are totally uninterested in our political needs. Honestly, that's almost a good thing, because in my experience trans women don't really handle trans male problems with that much sensitivity or tact.

How many trans women have read Whipping Girl but have never even heard of The Last Time I Wore A Dress or Becoming a Visible Man? It really is like we do not belong to the same community at all.