Reddit reviews Believing Christ the Parable of the Bicycle and Other Good News

I've been there (Spouse needed marriage counseling). Medications helped her, but only to a point. When we finally connected with her current therapist (who also happens to be a member of the Stake Presidency with his partner, who is the Stake President - both really awesome men), there was no mention of any need for her to repent. What there was was an honest look at her self-expectation and the current paradigms she used for self-evaluation. Both were lacking (as I had been trying to tell her for years). She was way too hard on herself, as well as measuring herself up to impossible standards. Some concepts were shared with her as to how to turn this around and we practice at it weekly. It's slow, but there IS progress and she seems happier more often.

Based on your OP, I would guess that you feel overwhelmed at all the things that a good "mormon wife" is "expected" to do and like you can't do them all and no one is helping. The latter may be but there's nothing you can do about that (everyone has their agency). What you CAN do is correct the former. Expectation is a lie. Our Father in Heaven and our Savior do not intend that goals and striving for perfection be a cat o' nine tails to beat ourselves with.

Based on some personal experience, I would recommend the following:

• Listen to Jack Marshall's Down with Perfectionism (CD can be purchased from Seagull Books - there's other stuff on it too).
  
  
• If you don't have it, RUN and buy a copy of Believing Christ by Stephen E. Robinson. Read it, believe that you understand it, then read it again. When you truly grasp what he is trying to communicate, you will never look at the Atonement or your efforts in this life the same way again. Trust me.
  
  Sister, you are loved by a Father who knows your every need and you have a Savior who died for you. When I say that, what I mean is that if all the rest of us on the planet were perfect and you were the only one who ever made any mistakes, He would STILL have come to Atone for you. Let that sink in for a minute. He loves you that much. And you know what? You're worth it. Hang in there, sister. And feel free to come and visit us here often. There are many of us here that only want the best for you. Sometimes, you'll get the occasional "bad seed", but I know several people on here (all of the mods included) are just itching to offer their support in any way they can.
  
  Be well, and may you find the peace of the Spirit in your life.

buy this book and read it:
http://www.amazon.com/Believing-Christ-Parable-Bicycle-Other/dp/0875796346

Hey, have you read Believing Christ by Stephen Robinson? He was a professor at BYU when he gave the talk version which was republished in the Ensign. I really recommend the book:

https://www.amazon.com/Believing-Christ-Parable-Bicycle-Other/dp/0875796346

And it’s sequel:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1590383230/ref=dbs_a_w_dp_1590383230

Brad Wilcox name-checks Brother Robinson in his talk. I think these books really changed how we talk about grace and faith and works.

My "favorite" scripture varies from time to time based on which one's have impacted me recently. Here are some of my recent favorites:

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D&C 82:22-23
> 22 And now, verily I say unto you, and this is wisdom, make unto yourselves friends with the mammon of unrighteousness, and they will not destroy you.

> 23 Leave judgment alone with me, for it is mine and I will repay. Peace be with you; my blessings continue with you.

I understand this to say that not only should we not condemn those who don't share our beliefs or lifestyle, but we should find ways to befriend them w/o judgement and this will lead to peace and blessings. This certainly has been true in my life as I try to find the good in others who may be different.

Of course this can be taken too far if you compromise your covenants in being someone's friend. But I know of no covenant that I've made that requires me to give up my beliefs in the name of friendship.

===

1 Peter 3:15-16

> 15 But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear:

> 16 Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ.

You should be ready to answer the "Whys?" and "Hows?" about your faith. Why are you a Mormon? Why do you believe in Jesus Christ (hint: read Believing Christ)? Why do you think Joseph Smith was a prophet? How does your faith affect your life?

And more importantly, you should discover for yourself what the essence of these things are for you rather than give a nonsensical 5-10 minute testimony rambling without forethought. Yes, speak by the Spirit. But the last time I checked, the Spirit speaks by your mind and heart, not from a part of your body more useful for sitting.

EDIT: Filling out a Mormong.org profile and answering these very questions in the limited space they give you is a wonderful way to do that.

EDIT 2: Also, in coming up with your answer, distill it down to the essence that is relate-able for anyone. Note the "every man" part of the scripture. Not just LDS people, other Christians, teenagers, adults, kids, but every man/woman/one.

Another great book with analogies regarding the Atonement is Believing Christ