Reddit reviews Broadman Church Supplies Communion Wafer, Cross Design, 1,000 Count

According to this amazon product description a single wafer would weigh about 0.32g.

According to this guy‘s page Jesus height might have been 5' 10" and his weight may be around 142 pounds. —> 64,41 kg


x = amount of wafers

0.32g * x = 64,41kg or 64410g

x=64410/0.32

x= 201281.25


You would have to eat around 200k of them.


If you went to church each week and ate exactly one wafer (52 a year) - you would NEVER eat a whole Jesus in your entire life.

http://www.amazon.com/Communion-Wafers-1000-Broadman-Press/dp/0805470859

Or you can just go to your local church. My x-priest said he would buy them in bulk for me if necessary. He would often joke "If Christ didn't taste so delicious, I would be a protestant!".

Edit: You could always try ringing Father Larry Duff on his cell, he has a ready supply.

Broadman Church Communion White Wafers - Cross Design (1 - 1/8") - Box of 1000 (10 Individual Packs of 100 Lord's Supper Wafers) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0805470859/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_d1fsDbWRXZ95J

According to Amazon, each wafer weighs approximately 1/4th of a gram.

According to Wikipedia, the weight of your average Jesus is 70.8kg [assuming White Jesus]. Of this, approximately 9kg is bone and 2.5kg of blood [interesting side note: blood is not denser than water. Who knew?]. This leaves approximately 59.3kg of White Jesus flesh, organs and skin.

According to this discussion, a sip of wine is approximately 15 mL.

According to this page, the average White Jesus has 5.5L of blood.

By these figures, you would require 367 communions to drink an entire White Jesus' worth of blood and 237,200 wafers for White Jesus' flesh.

Saved you a trip!

They are called wafers or host or altar bread. I found a box of 1000 on Amazon

I Googled "communion wafers" to see what a box cost, out of curiosity. The user reviews are fantastic.

If any non-Catholics are curious...

https://smile.amazon.com/Broadman-Church-Communion-White-Wafers/dp/0805470859/

The recipe hasn't changed much.

For a good time read reviews of communion wafers at Amazon...

>According to the lawsuit, the Holy Eucharist can only be distributed by an ordained minister of the Catholic Church and must be consumed immediately and never taken outside of the church.

I think I'll buy these http://www.amazon.com/Communion-Wafers-1000-Broadman-Press/dp/0805470859

According to The Gospel Coalition Jesus was likely around 5’1” and 110 lbs.

These commercially available communion wafers weigh 0.005 oz each (box of 1000 weighs 5 oz.)

110lbs * 16oz / 0.005oz per communion wafer = 352,000 communion wafers.

To go a bit further and see how long it would take one person to receive communion this many times...

Let’s assume this person is a dedicated church attendee and attends weekly as well as all of the extra church services including Christmas Eve, Christmas, Shrove Tuesday, Ash Wednesday, and Maundy Thursday (in my experience communion isn’t offered at Good Friday service Easter is always on a Sunday and therefore not an extra church service.) This means 57 services per year. 352,000 / 57 = 6,175 years of devout church attendance to receive the entire Body of Christ.

TIL you can buy these on amazon

You're completely wrong. Those who bake unleavened bread for use in Mass routinely offer it for sale. To call it "blasphemy" or "sacrilege" is silly.

Is it blasphemous for me to enjoy a fine Bordeaux? Your logic suggests so.

Please back up your assertions with sources from canon law if you disagree.

you can actually

the lord said that as long as you have him he is all you need. each package has 1000 wafers so it's enough for 1000 days :)

srs the reviews are hilar

Order some Jesus! http://www.amazon.com/Communion-Wafers-1000-Broadman-Press/dp/0805470859

> These little beauties are perfect for the dieter. One can only eat so many carrot and celery sticks before one screams. How better to spruce up the blandness than the crunchy goodness of Jesus? Jesus is good with fat-free dips, as the base for cucumber sandwiches (especially with lemon salt) and out of this world on salads! I mean, do you have any idea how many calories croutons have? But not Jesus. Oh, no. He's fat and virtually calorie free.

> We are taught to bring all our problems to the feet of Our Loving God, Jesus, and many of us have prayed for years in vain for help loosing the inner tire or the cottage cheese legs. And you know, He was answering us all along! Order several boxes of Jesus, and He'll help you out with that unsightly double chin, just as you prayed!

They're on Amazon!

http://www.amazon.com/Communion-Wafers-Box-of-1000/dp/0805470859/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1293783395&sr=8-1

edit: wtf http://i.imgur.com/6cfA2.png

These reviews 😂

I was raised Catholic and never beat the Communion habit. Thank goodness I can buy them via Amazon Prime.

Here ya go: https://www.amazon.com/Broadman-Church-Communion-White-Wafers/dp/0805470859

TIL you can buy Jesus crackers online.

go crazy

You can get them at Amazon. The reviews are hilarious, BTW.

Not consecrated, no big deal. Hell, you can get a thousand communion wafers for $20 including S&H on Amazon and do whatever with them.

Oh, for the love of god. You can buy those things on Amazon.

Is it wrong to use amazon.com? Communion wafers

Here's a cheaper way.

Catholic supply stores have them.

Also Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Broadman-Church-Communion-White-Wafers/dp/0805470859

https://www.amazon.com/Broadman-Church-Communion-White-Wafers/dp/0805470859/ref=sr_1_3

http://amzn.com/0805470867/

No offense, but you're really really lazy.

edit:

>These little beauties are perfect for the dieter. One can only eat so many carrot and celery sticks before one screams. How better to spruce up the blandness than the crunchy goodness of Jesus? Jesus is good with fat-free dips, as the base for cucumber sandwiches (especially with lemon salt) and out of this world on salads! I mean, do you have any idea how many calories croutons have? But not Jesus. Oh, no. He's fat and virtually calorie free.

http://amzn.com/0805470859/

Me too. The crackers are the only thing I miss.

You can buy the crackers on Amazon.

You can just buy them on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Communion-Wafers-1000-Broadman-Press/dp/0805470859/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1347652286&sr=8-1&keywords=communion+wafers

> The sign of the cross […] is an outward and voluntary expression by the atheist that serves no secular purpose.

Voluntary? Are you not in voluntary control of your own mouth? Did someone drag your limp corpus to the altar? What "secular purpose" is fulfilled by eating the body of a god?

> accepting and consuming the food has a secular purpose—nutrition, or general enjoyment of the food.

No. Absolutely no. Stop this façade. Communion is not snack time.

I dare you to ask your catholic family if it's okay to serve host wafers (free shipping) with grapes and goat cheese. After all, they're "nutritious", and "generally enjoyable as food". Get the fuck outta here XD

On Amazon you can buy a 1000 pack of communion wafers. According to the nutrition facts the mass of 1 piece is 0.32g. (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Communion-Wafers-Box-of-1000/dp/0805470859)

​

Estimates of the average stature of people at that time would mean he was approx somewhere around 5'2'' - 5'5''. If we assume he was 5'3'' then a reasonable weight (according to most BMI charts) is approx 55kg.

This means you would have to receive communion 171,875 times. If you went to mass every week it would be approx. 3,300 years before you ate Jesus.

​

Note: I'm assuming total mass (excuse the pun). This includes bones etc. not just the mass of "flesh".

Just buy some wafers and salsa.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0805470859/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_AeSKyb4WZAN5G

Amazon sells them, apparently. :)

Also, here is a NYT article where they talk about the bakery that makes the majority of these communion wafers.

>The family-owned company makes about 80 percent of the communion bread used by the Catholic, Episcopal, Lutheran and Southern Baptist churches in the United States. It has a similar market share in Australia, Canada and Britain, and is now looking to expand to West Africa


More helpful info from the article linked above:

>The company will not disclose sales numbers, but says it makes about 850 million wafers each year, and that each wafer sells for less than a penny. Most of the company’s bread is sold wholesale to religious supply stores and Southern Baptist bookstores.

Based on the article, it looks like most churches buy in bulk one or two times a year. One of the churches mentioned buys 6,000 wafers a year, but I'm not sure what the size of their congregation is, so I couldn't comment on how "normal" that number is.


Oh, and as far as who handles ordering them, it's most likely the office manager. The same person that handles distributing funds for, as well as scheduling and probably maintaining, church events.

In honor of amazon prime day:

https://www.amazon.com/Broadman-Church-Communion-White-Wafers/dp/0805470859/ref=sr_1_2?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIutuLjNa84wIVRr7ACh0-zQdcEAAYASAAEgIdXPD_BwE&hvadid=174241117102&hvdev=c&hvlocphy=1015431&hvnetw=g&hvpos=1t1&hvqmt=e&hvrand=3509015635358567694&hvtargid=kwd-152965810349&hydadcr=24630_9648900&keywords=broadman+communion+bread&qid=1563391240&s=gateway&sr=8-2

Amazon reviews are the best. You'll want to look at the bobble-head Jesus, and the communion wafers.

https://www.amazon.com/Accoutrements-11093-Dashboard-Jesus/dp/B000CIS34U/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1473285444&sr=8-2&keywords=bobble-head+Jesus

https://www.amazon.com/Broadman-Church-Communion-White-Wafers/dp/0805470859/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1473285539&sr=8-3&keywords=communion+wafers

No, but they are fairly tasty...

http://www.amazon.com/Communion-Wafers-1000-Broadman-Press/dp/0805470859

https://www.amazon.com/Broadman-Church-Communion-White-Wafers/dp/0805470859

Holy shit those reviews! Almost as good as those jesus wafer ones (and yes I did buy and review these things)

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0805470859

You can get them on Amazon! Plus the reviews are amazing.

Even Amazon has them.

Alright, time to try it!

http://www.amazon.com/Communion-Wafers-1000-Broadman-Press/dp/0805470859

Yea, because little wafers of unleavened bread are sacred.

http://www.amazon.com/Communion-Wafers-1000-Broadman-Press/dp/0805470859

Seriously, though, I kind of miss the taste. I should buy a box for snacking on when I browse reddit.

A box of 1000 communion wafers, or as I like to call them, "Jesus Bites".