Reddit Reddit reviews Brothers and Sisters in Adoption

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Parenting & Relationships
Brothers and Sisters in Adoption
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1 Reddit comment about Brothers and Sisters in Adoption:

u/LWRellim ยท 4 pointsr/IAmA

>As an infertile person who is constantly told that if I don't want to adopt older children then I'm a bad person,

The idea that adopting an infant or toddler will make the experience a "cake walk" is a set of extremely BAD expectations.

Each child is an individual -- their experiences in life (even in the womb) shape them (us) all in unique ways. Some of those experiences (and the consequences) may have parallels with other children who have gone through similar types of abuse/neglect at similar ages/stages.

>I am considering adopting, but still hugely resent when people act like it's no different from giving birth to your biological child, or that if I don't want to adopt older kids I don't deserve kids at all.

It certainly IS different than giving birth. But the SAME is true of infant adoption -- that too is NOT the same as a biological child (not even if you are "involved" with the mother in a pre-birth arrangement).

Please, PLEASE do some extensive research and preparation before you begin the process of adoption -- so that you can dispel as many "myths" as possible.

One excellent book that I have already recommended in this thread is called "Brothers and Sisters in Adoption" -- and don't be mislead by the title -- while it does contain a lot of information about including siblings (i.e. birth family children and/or other foster/adopted kids already in the family) into the process/decision of adoption -- it also includes a lot of "case story snapshots" regarding various people's experiences with all types of adoptions (i.e. the adopted children themselves, the adoptive parents, the siblings, etc -- and a wide range of adoption types: overseas adoptions, special needs adoptions, adoptions from foster care, etc.)