Reddit reviews Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People

I had a similar experience in elementary school and high school, but I got lucky and found people like me in college.

Since college (that's 14 years ago now), I have found a few wonderful people who enrich my life in the way that you're wishing for.

Here's my advice. Two pieces.

1. Train your social skills. Read books and then practice in real life. A couple of good ones to start with are Please Understand Me and Captivate. You have to be able to get to know people if you want to get to know great people. It didn't come naturally to me; I had to treat it as a set of skills like metalworking, but I get better every year.
   
   
2. Less than 1% of the population is nice, interesting, intelligent idea-people. You've got to meet hundreds of people and talk to them enough to find out whether they're nice/jerks, interesting/boring, and ideas-people/people-people. You've got to meet lots and lots and lots of people to find a few suitable ones. So don't get your hopes up that there will be any in your fifteen work colleagues; that's not realistic. Too small of a sample. Plan on joining clubs, going to events, and trying out a lot of different places before you find some. They're out there, you just have to do something to find them.
   

Some people do this stuff instinctively. Some of us have to treat it as a skill.

So I got a lot of value out of books on this stuff. I read about the techniques, I practiced them, and I do ok.

Here are two really good ones:

Captivate by Vanessa Van Edwards

and

What Every BODY is Saying by Joe Navarro

You can improve these skills; they're just skills!

I've found a "scientific" approach to human interaction that's actually (a) based on observation and experimentation and (b) not horribly sexist or based on sexist "science." Check out Capitvate by Vanessa Van Edwards.

Anything particular that you're looking for? Here are three of my favorites outside of the usual recommendations.

The Unique and Its Property (aka The Ego and His Own) by Max Stirner. Updated translation of the OG book on Egoism

The Demon-Haunted World by Carl Sagan. Great read on the the scientific method, skepticism and developing a baloney detection kit.

Captivate by Vanessa van Edwards. The best guide for lesser magic out there.

Edit: fixed links. I was posting from my cell phone which caused a lot of issues.

A couple I've read or are on my to-read list:

Peace at Work: The HR Manager's Guide to Workplace Mediation
https://www.amazon.com/Peace-Work-Managers-Workplace-Mediation/dp/150033135X/


101 Tough Conversations to Have with Employees
https://www.amazon.com/101-Tough-Conversations-Have-Employees/


Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People
https://www.amazon.com/Captivate-Succeeding-Vanessa-Van-Edwards/dp/0399564489/

Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations
https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Past-Negotiating-Difficult-Situations/dp/0553371312/


Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well
https://www.amazon.com/Thanks-Feedback-Science-Receiving-Well/dp/0143127136/

Some other resources that personally helped me with networking and communication skills in general :

[Click by George Phraser] (https://www.amazon.com/Click-Building-Extraordinary-Relationships-Development/dp/007162712X)

[Captivate by Vanessa Van Edwards] (https://www.amazon.com/Captivate-Succeeding-Vanessa-Van-Edwards/dp/0399564489) (Her [YouTube channel] (https://www.youtube.com/user/vvanpetten) is full of good stuff too)

[San Holo's manager also has a YouTube channel] (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnECCookVvqf9BejL-nTIXg) with very insightful advice for EDM producers