Reddit reviews Cheap Sex: The Transformation of Men, Marriage, and Monogamy

This all sounds correct to me.

Miller is gunning pretty hard for a particular kind of poly configuration, one with a committed primary partnership and rotating secondary partners. One problem is that this seems like a much better fit for men's average-case sexual preferences than it does for women's. In particular, this argument of Miller's does not sound like a realistic account of most cishet women's preferences to me:

>Polygyny makes it harder for lower-mate-value men to find partners, but polyamory actually makes it easier, because these guys don’t have to be good enough to be a woman’s primary partner.

As Regnerus observed, gay male sexuality resembles straight male sexuality, and lesbian sexuality resembles straight female sexuality. So it's not a coincidence that Miller is citing the popularity of Dan Savage's "monogamish" norm among gay men, as opposed to lesbians, as a model for straight marriage.

>‘Cheap sex’ is making men give up on marriage is the article, and it should not surprise most guys on here. The book is Cheap Sex: The Transformation of Men, Marriage, and Monogamy.
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>In today's dating market you can specialize in being the guy girls want to fuck or the guy they think they should want to marry (or more realistically neither, but we'll ignore that for now). It is of course possible to do both but trade offs exist in the real world and most guys are better off specializing in being the fuck boy.
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>While women bemoan the lack "eligible" men, they actually mean that they want a guy who can fuck all the girls he wants but for some reason her magical pussy makes him monogamous to her and makes him want to transfer lots of financial and other resources to her, with basically nothing in return. The only way to judge who and what women actually want is to look at who they fuck.
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>Stated like that the situation obviously makes no sense.
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>Smart guys hit the gym, up their style, and learn game. Dumb guys bemoan their "fate."
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>My last bunch of relationships ended after three to twenty-four months when the woman wanted a timeline for cohabitation or eventually marriage, and I refused. Very few women will be long-term fuck buddies or even girlfriends without a timeline for cohabitation. That can yield a Groundhog-day quality to relationships, but in my experience that is much better than the situation I found myself in when I lived with the woman who is now my ex and the mother of two kids. While I didn't marry her ( a smart move) I did make a lot of other errors that are obvious in retrospect.
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>I also posted this to the blog that archives my RP writing.