Reddit reviews Choice Theory: A New Psychology Of Personal Freedom

You could give choice theory a look. I struggled with depression for years and it helped me turn myself around and become the happiest person I know. I'm not saying it will definitely work for you since everyone finds success in their own way, but it's worth a try.

If reading a whole book is too intimidating you can get a taste of it by looking at the wikipedia article about it, or this website that teaches choice theory.

And if you feel like getting a pep talk from Will Smith you can check out this instagram video he did that mirrors the main idea behind choice theory.

Best of luck to you in finding a way out of the darkness.

Siddhartha by Herman Hesse has helped me through a few rough patches in life.

Also, The Conquest of Happiness by Bertrand Russell.

William Glasser has some pretty interesting ideas on personal and group psychology that I've used in my everyday life.

Finally, everything written by Amy Hempel brings immense joy into my life. Whenever I am in an anxious or depressive state, her short stories usually help shake me of all that woes me (at least for the time I am reading).

Reading is great. Yes, you do have to get out there to learn social skills, like some are saying here. However, you can also learn a lot from other people's experience, which is what a book is. Use books to supplement what you are learning from your actions. Some good ones:

• HTWF&IP, like everyone else mentioned. A classic for a reason. Not everyone will love it, but you need to find out for yourself if it suits you.
  
  
• Choice Theory by William Glasser also really opened my eyes, in terms of managing relationships. It really showed me how trying to change other people is really at the root of most relationship problems, especially romantic ones. It also helped me realize just how much we control our own minds, and how we can change more about ourselves than we normally think.
  
  
• The Game by Neil Strauss introduced me to the "seduction community". I had no idea social skills could be studied in such a methodical fashion. And despite the negative reputation, there is a lot of wisdom to be found in those circles, that can even help you in a relationship or in other aspects of your life.
  
  
• Various books on salesmanship, which is social skills put to a direct professional use. Nothing especially great jumps out in my mind, but a lot of these books are pretty short. Go to a used book store and pick up a few.
  
  
• One Phone Call Away by Jeffrey Meshel. It is about professional networking, but this applies to personal "networking" as well. What I learned most, is that networking is really about looking for opportunities to put two people you know together for their mutual benefit. In other words, to be a good networker, you need to go network to help out people you know. By doing that, your own network expands, and people are more likely to help you in return. Karma basically. This also helps in your personal life. Its like the old-timey tradition of hosting a dinner party and then introducing two friends of yours who don't know each other but you know will get along well.
  
  
• Various books on pop psychology. Understanding how people think (including yourself) can help you socially. I think this is especially important for relationships / friends / family, and it can also help you protect yourself emotionally from the wrong kind of people.
  
  
• Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman. A lot of the problems people have on this reddit are really "emotional" ones. If you know you have to talk to girls to get a GF, and you want a GF, then why wouldn't you talk to girls? Your logic is sound, but your emotions (fear, low self-esteem, etc) are what prevent you from acting. Understand your emotions and they will be your second brain, making you twice as smart. Fail to understand them and you are a slave to them.
  
  Social skills is a really broad category and really involves a lifetime of study. What could be more rewarding than having quality relationships with family, friends, significant others, etc? Its worth putting the effort into continuous self improvement here.

Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom

Book by Dr. Glasser and it helps change your outlook on things. In a sense, you can control your choices and the way you are feelings is usually due to a difference in: power, freedom, love, survival, and belonging.

Hi gayfoot, I'm really glad you were open to my message for you. I got beat up quite a bit for that, by other people, but now I feel justified and I don't regret what I wrote. This happens all the time by the way.

First, before reading the rest of this comment, please watch this:

http://www.consciousone.com/wisdomflash/WFView.cfm?PID=194

Did you enjoy that? Here's more:
http://www.consciousone.com/wisdomflash/WFlist.cfm

Here are some recent comments that I've written on the subject:

http://www.reddit.com/r/BipolarReddit/comments/rfjwn/i_never_knew_i_was_such_an_asshole/c45vkmu

http://www.reddit.com/r/BipolarReddit/comments/lwctu/redirected_from_rself_i_am_paying_johns_hopkins/c2wb58q

http://www.reddit.com/r/BipolarReddit/comments/lwctu/redirected_from_rself_i_am_paying_johns_hopkins/c2w8c8e

http://www.reddit.com/r/BipolarReddit/comments/lwctu/redirected_from_rself_i_am_paying_johns_hopkins/c2w96pt

http://www.reddit.com/r/BipolarReddit/comments/losk6/anyone_else_not_on_any_meds/c2uh907

http://www.reddit.com/r/BipolarReddit/comments/m4pm2/psa_references_to_alternative_medicine_as/c2y6gc3

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/q11pa/my_13_year_old_son_pulled_a_knife_on_me_his_dad/c3u0goy

http://www.reddit.com/r/BipolarReddit/comments/nj3xu/does_this_sound_like_it_was_written_by_someone/c39ixez

I've written many other similar comments, feel free to look through my comments history and if you have any other questions I'll be happy to provide any other advice that I can! But if you read through all of those comments, you should have a pretty good feel for my position.

I didn't even realize you were talking about an actual book called "Choice Theory"!

I'll have to read that book too! I'm not really sure where I picked this information up, it sort of came to me in various forms over the past few years.

http://www.reddit.com/r/BipolarReddit/comments/np9iq/a_probably_unpopular_question_that_should_be/c3avwh5

http://www.reddit.com/r/BipolarReddit/comments/np9iq/a_probably_unpopular_question_that_should_be/c3ax3bm

>I'd taken a stressful job working with teenage sex offenders in a near-zero supportive professional environment

Oh wow, I don't think I could handle that sort of stress. That's really incredibly difficult. You have a good heart for trying though!

>I would love to come off the meds but I fear my fantasy of being able to live a normal life without them is a pipe dream.

It's not a "pipe dream". Society has a huge fear of those with "mental illness", there is still a lot of taboo and people have this idea stuck in their head that all bipolar people need to be medicated otherwise they are considered somehow unsafe to be out in society among all of the "normal" people. Which is utter BS. There is no such thing as "normal" people. Everybody has their emotional moments from time to time. Nobody is perfect or "normal", different people just have different capacities for controlling their emotions and thoughts, most of the time people are able to stay in control, but every once in a while people snap. Even people who are considered "normal", they snap too. And they have such a huge fear of losing control over their emotions and then being subsequently labeled as some how emotionally unstable or shudder to think, "bipolar" or "manic/depressive".

>I grew up in a violent home and absorbed some tendency to respond violently. I am no longer physically violent, but I roll with such an angry emotional furor when I see injustice (bully bosses, people who park in handicapped spaces, financial exploiters). I just cant seem to find my Zen with it all

read this:
http://www.reddit.com/r/BipolarReddit/comments/nj3xu/does_this_sound_like_it_was_written_by_someone/c39ixez

>Can you please be so kind as to share with me part of your process to enlightenment? Is there a book like "Choice Theory" that might electrify me so much as Glasser did? I need new inspiration so much.

Read "The Power of Now".

Watch these videos:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpDDyTW1nLY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qE1dWwoJPU0

>Any other assorted thoughts you have on going med free, enlightenment from within would be like gold to me. Thanks for your time. I look forward to your reply if you can.

I hope I haven't overwhelmed you with this, but as you can see, being mindful and aware of your own mental state of mind is THE most important thing above all else. Medication helps, yes, it's helpful, it helped me for a while, but now I'm off the mood stabilizers and I'm doing perfectly well in my life. I'm currently holding on to a full time, permanent job, I'm an IT Manager for a large corporation, I deal with all sorts of day to day issues. I'm a husband, a father, employee, and in my spare time I like to help people by sharing my experiences. Karma is real, do good for others and good things will happen for you.

Am I "manic"? Well, possibly "hypomanic", but I use it to my advantage. Where other people need to take adderall, cocaine, caffeine or other stimulants to kick their brain into gear, I don't have that problem. My brain is naturally overclocked and operates at a much higher speed than "normal" people, additionally, I am great at multi-tasking, I can deal with all sorts of things going on at once. It's a balance of managing your focus. I work on things in time slices, I'll do everything that I can on something and then if I'll have to wait a while before I can move on to the next step, then I'll work on something else while I'm waiting for the first thing. It's like juggling, but I'd rather keep my brain active all the time. And when I'm bored with work or I come across someone such as yourself who is asking for my advice, then I'm more than happy to share my experiences with others.

I could go on and on, but I hope by now you're able to see a whole new perspective on this whole "bi polar" thing.

Namaste!

I highly recommend this book

http://www.amazon.com/Choice-Theory-Psychology-Personal-Freedom/dp/0060930144

https://www.amazon.com/Choice-Theory-Psychology-Personal-Freedom/dp/0060930144

I wont tell you what depression is or is not, I would encourage you to make up your own mind. This book has helped me do just that.

I would not have spent the time typing that out just to troll. THIS. Your cynicism is probably a bigger issue than any of the stuff you believe to be your problem. You can change your mindset http://www.amazon.com/Rewire-Your-Brain-Think-Better/dp/0470487291 This is an easy to read, easy to understand book. It's technically self-help but it's not really self-help as it is written (and is) in a more scientific manner. Also everything in it is empirically true and it lays out step by step how to go about following the methods. But you believe what you want to believe. It's your loss. You are this way because you want to be this way http://www.amazon.com/Choice-Theory-Psychology-Personal-Freedom/dp/0060930144/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1462798234&sr=1-1&keywords=choice+theory It's easier, you don't have to do anything, you don't have to challenge yourself, you don't have to risk anything. You want to avoid pain, you want to avoid hardship, but the truth is, those things are unavoidable, you are only fooling yourself. Change isn't always easy, I won't say it is, there will be moments of pain, but there is an alternative if you choose to take it.