Reddit Reddit reviews Crossing the Tracks for Love: What to Do When You and Your Partner Grew Up in Different Worlds

We found 1 Reddit comments about Crossing the Tracks for Love: What to Do When You and Your Partner Grew Up in Different Worlds. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

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Crossing the Tracks for Love: What to Do When You and Your Partner Grew Up in Different Worlds
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1 Reddit comment about Crossing the Tracks for Love: What to Do When You and Your Partner Grew Up in Different Worlds:

u/her_nibs · 6 pointsr/etiquette

Oh, man, this sounds like a lot more than a "crash course" is going to solve.

I'd recommend Crossing the Tracks for Love: What to Do When You and Your Partner Grew Up in Different Worlds -- it's not perfect, but there isn't much else out there on the topic.

A copy of Debrett's and/or Post would be nice. Malloy's "New Woman's Dress for Success" is tragically dated but still very useful.

Also, Paul Fussell's "Class," as it's (1) true (2) hilarious.

> Notwithstanding the aforementioned, for a rough idea of what we are looking for, my tux is RL Purple and shoes are Prada.

This is a bit of a tell that you are not the silver spooned gent you seem to perhaps think you are. Were your parents 'nouveau riche'?

Your whole post is really fraught with an amazing amount of class anxiety, and that is more déclassé than any working-class woman who happens to show up at a ball when she doesn't usually go to balls.

This would almost be a better fit in /r/relationships or even /r/sociology... (NB: /r/femalefashionadvice will expect you to read the black tie info already in the sidebar/wiki before you ask question in the "daily simple Qs" thread about particular outfits.)

You can't pick up a sow's ear and decide to marry a silk purse and expect to transform the ear. There is no way trying to tell her how to talk is going to come off well.

> terrible experiences with the "personal shoppers/stylists" in the mall department stores

You went to Neiman Marcus, pretend to be Richard Gere with the ho' Julia Roberts, and they couldn't do anything for you two...?

Is it possible that that didn't go very far because of palpable discomfort on your partner's part? What does she want?

Does she want all this crap you're suggesting? Most upper-class people's views on 'wine pairings' are: (1) somebody else does that for you, (2) there should be a lot of it.

> I want to do everything I can (within this short amount of time) to make sure she feels comfortable and confident enough to hold her own and not want to run to the restroom and cry.

This is only going to happen if you are attending an event with low-class bullies, or if the purported love of her life keeps sniping at her to use a different fork, cross her legs just so, not fiddle with her bracelet, not use double negatives, etc, etc, etc.

I have hosted a large black tie gala. One or two people were dressed too informally. I'm sure there were people who didn't know which fork to use. It is only the class-insecure who notice, and get upset by, these things.

Surely you've heard the old parable: a lovely old lady hosts a dinner. There's a young female guest who is new to high society, etc. She sees a finger bowl and thinks it is a clear soup or a beverage of some sort, and starts drinking/spooning it down.

The hostess, widely known as the very picture of etiquette, notices this. To put the girl at ease, she drinks from her own finger bowl. Soon all the guests are drinking their finger bowls.

That's etiquette.

Basically it just sounds like you're a ball of class anxiety, and she just needs to buy a couple of new outfits. You might try 'Rent the Runway'...