Reddit reviews Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting
We found 5 Reddit comments about Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
I feel you. My daughter is about to be 5 months and it's very hard to get anything done. Of course I want her to get lots of love and attention, but I also want her to be able to handle me putting her down to take a dump or shower. Likewise, I started to feel like she wasn't spending enough time awake on her stomach and back figuring out to how to do things like roll over or sit up herself since she wants to sit or stand on us (with help), be on our lap, or be in carrier. From a gross motor skills/milestone standpoint this also seemed less then ideal.
I agree building the ability to play independently for short periods (at least) is something I want to foster in my baby. Just this week I read Elevating Child Care by Janet Lansbury (she also has a blog) who writes about RIE parenting a model in which you treat babies with respect and like they can understand. You also strive to build their confidence and competence and their ability to spend time confidently exploring themselves. While I don't agree with everything in her book (you never do) I liked a lot of it, it's a very fast read, and I think it could be a great perspective for you and your wife.
She specifically talks about setting some healthy boundaries even with your baby like Mommy needs to brush her teeth. Now, your baby's feelings are genuine - she's crying because she is upset and wants to be held. However, Lansbury would say it's okay for your baby to experience being upset sometimes if you are respectful, understanding, and all of their needs are met. You would say to "[baby name], I am going to go brush my teeth. I will be back in two minutes." If they cry, you might say "I know you don't want me to leave," or "You want to be held right now" or some sort of acknowledgement and name the feeling if you know it. But still, brush your teeth. Then when you are done hug and comfort baby. "You are so upset I left you to brush my teeth." The idea is that feelings are not wrong (don't "no" crying) but that even as a baby it's all right if they don't always get their way.
There's also good info on developing independent play time to help your wife get some stuff done.
Elevating Childcare is what I started with.
She also has a blog/website with lots of great resources.
As a toddlers teacher, I can tell you that there absolutely are tons of good books!!
You have to remember that there is no "ways to teach my kids." All kids learn differently. Luckily, since you are their parent, you are privileged to info about your kid that us teachers are not!
All kids naturally posses a desire to explore and learn. Teaching a toddler is not so much teaching as it is facilitating. Give your child the ability to explore and play freely. When you see your child has an interest in something, provide resources and opportunities for your child to discover and learn more about that thing. Scaffold. Info on scaffolding: https://www.naeyc.org/resources/pubs/yc/may2017/rocking-and-rolling-empowering-infants-and-toddlers. I recommend spending some time on NAEYC's website. They have TONS of great information.
Books.
I also provided links to Amazon to view the books. I recommend that you buy older editions of the textbooks since these ones are really expensive. The older editions are pretty much the same, and much much cheaper.
This is one of the absolute best parenting books out there. Most of them are complete garbage. Be warned of that.
https://www.amazon.com/Elevating-Child-Care-Respectful-Parenting/dp/1499103670/ref=pd_aw_fbt_14_img_3?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=1N4N3K0R7NG5THTXS8Q8
I'm more of the treat your child like a person camp, so I am loving anything by Janet Lansbury. I'm in the middle of this book and I love it.