OYS #50

Been at this over a year.

37 yo, 6’0, 162lbs, 9.5% BF, married 4, together 7, kids 3 & 13

Gym:

4x this week, again. I invited my 13yo son to go with me and he jumped at the opportunity. That’s a big change of pace, and I’m enjoying time in there with him. I helped him learn to benchpress (the bar) and he started to get defeated. We kept at it and he was doing 5 reps at the end after learning to balance the bar. It’s was awesome.

Work:

I have a 2nd interview with one of the big 5 tech companies this Friday. I got a lot of solid advice on salary/worth last week in my OYS, so thanks everyone. I also have two more interviews this week at smaller companies and I expect the salary expectations will be much lower. Both VP level positions, and one of them is with a main competitor to my previous company that I’ve run into over the years and hired or lost people to/from that company. They’re aggressively pursuing me – I didn’t apply and they reached out to me on Linkedin.

I’ve been pounding the pavement sending out 10-15 applications a day, all VP level or above, all remote. If I’m unable to get an offer in the next 30 days, I plan on changing my search to more local companies rather than a global role.

I also hooked up with a fraternity brother of mine that’s local, and met for lunch. He owns two recruiting companies that have been named the best place to work. One of his companies is Executive recruiting only. He is putting together a campaign for me to target VC’s looking for talent. Additionally, he got me in touch with the boss of the person I’m interviewing with Friday, and she was really impressed. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before.

Reading:

Not too much this week, but I did some writing which helps me put sidebar material to work. I took notes again on Models by Mark Manson.

Social:

This seems to be turning the corner. I got 3 invites this weekend but unfortunately already had plans with the family that I didn’t want to break.

Also, /u/RedRanger207 has shitty OPSEC and his wife contacted me. She told me I could (and I quote): “Take your horns of apathy and shove them up your ass”. Feisty and cool as shit. I kind of like her.

Relationship / Mental:

Despite me being unemployed, I would say this week was mentally pretty good. I sometimes slip into the fear of the unknown with the employment scenario, start questioning my value to my family and fear I won’t be able to provide. I think that’s pretty natural given my circumstance so I will just soldier on.

I finally fucked up for once in a long time. The combination of job searching, not getting great hits, and the extra responsibilities I picked up around the house really got to me one day. I was feeling like I couldn’t go out and get shit done like I needed to – specifically having time to find a new job. Last week was my first full week at home, this was the second, and despite my best efforts to “spend more time with my family” I found them a hindrance. It was all my fault though. I fucked up by telling my wife I needed to leave for a few days, and that my place was not with the family right now while I figure out how to best position us for long term happiness. This slight victim puke upset my wife to tears because she was worried about me and would miss me. It was a weak fucking move, the first one in probably 6 months, and I regretted it the next morning.

So what to do? I went to my wife the next day and told her I had made a mistake for trying to run away - and that's not what a good captain does. He weathers the storm. I would find a way to get time to make it work. I was sorry that I said that, and it was weak. It would not happen again. Everything returned to normal.

I’ve also been teaching my wife to game me, and she’s chose to pursue living entirely in her feminine to do so. That makes me very happy. Actions? She has asked me for audiobook recommendations, and I gave her Fascinating Womanhood. Each night I watch her retreat to the bath for an hour to listen. I can already see her actions making a difference in the relationship. Monday night she was vocal, sexy, and begged me to let her cum. It was a huge fucking turn-on. There was so much immersion because we were both into it. So much so, that she came multiple times in just a few minutes which is extremely rare. Wife is also back to holding my cock in bed every single night, and initiating every single night. It’s been really good and I have no complaints about the progress that is being made here now after last week’s revelation that I needed to lead here more.

I am planning on taking the kids for a few days next week while my wife goes off on a retreat by herself ‘reconnecting with her feminine’ at a cabin alone in the woods. I am excited about that – both for the kids and my wife.

Mentally this is a time where I really need to be strong and keep moving forward. It would be easy to take a few more weeks off, but that’s complacency and it’s one of my biggest fears. That’s how I got here in the first place, and I will not do it again. Ever.

Strength, motherfuckers.