Reddit reviews Finally Free: Fighting for Purity with the Power of Grace

I too am a pastor... and my heart breaks man. I know all too well the feelings of guilt and shame over sexual sin, while having a desire to teach and minister to people. I had to step away from ministry for a season while I grew, and it was the best thing I could have ever done.

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I'm in no way perfect now, but it's been a long time since I've looked at pornography. I have a healthy thought life. I have healthy relationships with females, and I'm still single. I say this to say, the battle can be won. I know it feels impossible sometimes. I know it does, I've felt that in my room while I was just on the floor crying because I wanted to hate sin, but couldn't find the strength within myself to kill it. I get it man...

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Here are a few thoughts:

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1- Peter denied Jesus. Peter gave into a sin that made Him turn his back on Jesus. And yet, Jesus restored Him, using Him to build the church. Like so many have said, there is no sin that has more power than the cross of Christ. Jesus was not unaware of all that you would fall into before He died for you. You haven't surprised Him. His arms are open.

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Look at the cross my friend. Get your eyes off yourself. Yes, your heart is whoring after idols and other things before God, despite how good God has been to you. But the cross was for sinners. Romans 5:6-8

>"For while we were still weak at the right time Christ died for the ungodly... but God shows his love for us in that while were were still sinners Christ died for us. Since therefore we have been justified by His blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God".

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Find rest in the cross of Jesus Christ. That in that moment, all your sins. All your porn session. All your binge moments of masturbation were, all your evil desires that hate God were placed on the Cross onto Jesus. Jesus took your sins. And by taking your sins, Jesus offered himself as a substitution sacrifice. Whereby you were justified by His blood. Which means this. You're right standing before God, your peace with God, your friendship with God is not built upon your good works. Or your awesomeness. Or your power to kill sin. But only, only, only, on the basis of the atoning, justifying work of Jesus Christ. Period.

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You are justified by His blood. Not your works. And if you think, "well if Jesus knew, he wouldn't have died for me. Maybe all my sins aren't covered..." Look at verse 5... when did He die for you? "While you were weak and ungodly." He knew. And he went anyway. Knowing the depravity of your sins. That you would spit into the face of God after his great grace towards you. At yet He went... ponder that.

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Stop looking at yourself. look to Him. Your sins are covered and bought and erased. He is not in love with a future version of you that's perfect. He loves you, now. I know how impossible that feels. But the Gospel is that amazing.

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2- Peter was restored into ministry. Key word is restored. This is going to sound harsh, but it's biblical. If you show signs or patterns of habitual sin, especially ones of sexual nature, you are unqualified for pastoral ministry. See Titus 1:5-9. When God entrusts His flock to people, the weight and power we wield is great. And it comes with great responsibility. No one is perfect. But if we are not at a maturity of spirit where we are still enslaved to sins, we aren't ready. That's not against you, but for the good of our people.

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I say this with all the love I can. Fully knowing the complexity and frustration of your sin. If you are still struggling with pornography, you're not ready. And you're only going to hurt yourself, your future congregation, and you're walking outside of the will of God if you pretend everything's fine.

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Don't do this to His people. I've seen too many pastors ruin peoples lives... people walk away from God because their pastors moral failures come to light. Don't do that. I'm dead serious. God will be much more pleased, and you will show much more wisdom if you say, I'm not ready. And back out. And find godly mentors to help you grow. That's wise. That's loving. That's faithful. Don't ruin peoples lives because you are too cowardly to be honest.

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See James 3:1. We teachers have an extreme weight on our lives and teachings. Don't heap judgment on yourself because you are trying to not be found out.

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3- I don't think you have to resign from bible college, but you need to tell people in your life. You can't do this alone. Sin thrives in darkness and isolation. I know how it feels. Like you can't tell anyone because you've gotta keep this facade up of having it together. But that's so stupid. And fake.

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When I told my youth pastor at the time about my sin, even though I was a "leader" in the youth group. I thought... this is it. I'm done. I'm kicked out. But you know what happened? He didn't let me teach for a while. He didn't let me lead for a while. But He didn't leave me. He loved me. He pointed me to the Gospel. He helped me see the seriousness of my sin. And I felt truly loved for the first time. Here this man is, knowing all my sins and failures, and he said: "I'm not going anywhere, in fact, I'm walking with you as you grow in maturity. And when you show signs of true repentance, and patterns of growth and health, then we can talk about leadership again."

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I praise God for that man. I needed that. You do too. If your bible college doesn't have those kind of men, it's a crap bible college anyway and you should leave.

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4- Repentance is violent. I presume you know the Old Testament sacrificial system? When the slaughter animals for sin offerings as repentance, do you think they leave those meetings clean? No! They've got blood and guts all over them. They're stained by the blood. Repentance is violent.

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It's the kind of action that is willing to do anything to kill sin. Jesus said cut your eye out and your hand off, is better than going to hell because you continue in sin. I don't think that should be taken literal. But I also don't think it should be minimized. What are you willing to sacrifice for the sake of repentance? Reputation? Leadership? Authority? Love? Value from others?

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None of those things will save you. None of those things are worth lying about to God himself. And if you are unwilling to let go of any of those things in the name of true repentance, you've found what you truly love, and it's not God.

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There's a certain type of faith that pleases God. I think you tell God, Lord, I want to repent. So I will come clean and confess my sin to my leaders, and I will take whatever happens as your loving discipline. As your loving hand maturing me. I think that is true repentance. The heart that says, "Lord, whatever you need to do to kill this sin in me, and make me a man after your own heart." That's the repentant heart. That's the heart God restores.

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Could I ask you to meditate on some versus and pray about them? I think God will lead you if you do.

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-Proverbs 28:13

-Psalm 32:5

-Psalm 32:3

-Hebrews 12:4-11

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5- More than anything, you need a heart that loves God and hates sin. This is where I hate the internet. It's so limiting. I can't hear your story... I can't hear how you got here... I can't have good dialogue. I know I'm basing all this off of 5 sentences.

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All I know to say is, you've gotta fall in love with God. Sin is always a game of pleasure. You've gotta see that. You go to sin because you think it's going to offer something you don't currently have, or something you think you are entitled too.

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But when you see that Jesus, relationship with Him, fellowship with Him is so beautiful. It gives so much pure joy and satisfaction, it makes sin look silly. When you sit at the feet of Jesus and see Him, face to face, it changes your heart over time to hate sin.

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Can I just encourage you to sit with God? Listen to worship music and pray/talk to Him. Go on walks and pour your heart out to God. Read the scriptures every day and let the goal not be reading 5 chapters, but spending time with God.

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6 - Really practical, I'd buy this book right now. Finally Free. It's the best resource I've read regarding fighting sexual sin. It's very gospel centered. It really gets the deeper issues of sin.

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7- I love and care for you both. I know the specific weights pastors carry, and I feel for you. I know how hard it must be to carry this. My heart truly breaks. Please know, you are not alone. I do not say anything from a place of being better than, or having it all together. I am just as much in need of the Gospel. I hope you hear the humble tone in this that I wrote it from. I'm for you. But I don't want you to lie and fake it until something worse happens.

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Please send me a message if you'd wish to talk further, or if you have questions about anything, just reply to this. I want to offer help anyway I can.

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Blessings friends,

Pace.

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You might find Finally Free by Heath Lambert useful.

Don't hope it'll stop you forever. There's no fix-all. But it certainly will help get things in perspective. As a person who knows your struggle, you just have to keep fighting.

/r/NoFapChristians!

Also, I highly recommend "Finally Free" by Heath Lambert, best book I've read on the subject!

While I have not read it, I have heard amazing things about the book [Finally Free] (http://www.amazon.com/Finally-Free-Fighting-Purity-Power/dp/0310499232/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1452175571&sr=8-1&keywords=finally+free).
I was talking with a pastor about pastoring people with a pornography addiction and he recommended it. I should read it so I know what I am recommending...

Hi Man, I understand Your Situation. Porn I will not lie and nobody here will Lie is so damn pleasurable and good. It makes us feel so damn good. Just think about it Watching porn and heighten the process through Orgasm. No Doubt the feelings are of immense pleasure but if we think honestly is it really good ? Just think about it, Is it really that good ? Trust me, It is not. I've been there. It is not good man.

Yes it is pleasurable but it is destructive. Just think, eat a hamburger with fully loaded cheese. It is Pleasurable to eat, but it is destructive man. It is. Things that are good take time. Watch This Video

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I would recommend you reading one book. Finally Free - Heath Lambert. Get it Here. Book

Finally Free is a book that helped my boyfriend. Maybe it can help you too. Good luck, it's tough.

Finally Free by Heath Lambert is a great resource it has helped me immensely. amazon If you cannot afford the christian worldview is offering it as a resource for a gift of any amount.the christain wordview

In the most general of terms, it's widely considered impure. I say this because it's a sexual act outside of marital intercourse. "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving." Ephesians 5:3-4. If we could masturbate without viewing or imagining stimulating material, then it could at least fall under being a sluggardly action (nothing that glorifies God is being accomplished during the action). I can't fully articulate all of the reasoning off the top of my head, but I'd like to refer to some literature that has the best scripture-based take on this topic that I've found. It directs its focus toward a struggle against pornogrphy, but it completely applies here as well.