Reddit reviews Good News About Sex & Marriage (Revised Edition): Answers to Your Honest Questions about Catholic Teaching

Hey there,

You're doing the right thing. My fiance also cried when I told her the same thing. She didn't storm out, but everyone is different.

Just trust in God and know that he is there with you and with her. Be patient with her, she's processing a lot. If you don't already pray a lot, now would be a great time to start. Try doing a daily Rosary for her and ask Mary to pray for you guys.

If it's meant to be, it will be. Be strong and stick to your guns. You're making this decision for benefit of both of you. It will be hard, but whatever happens, bending to God's will will be beneficial. If you guys are indeed going to be together, you want God's blessing and that's what you're now fighting for.

Be there to comfort her, be there to answer her questions. It would probably be a good idea to visit a local priest and have his input and if she's willing to have her meet with him so he can explain the church's perspective.

You could get this book: http://www.amazon.com/Good-About-Marriage-Revised-Edition/dp/0867166193

Which is a good summary of Theology of the Body and discusses what chastity is.

Most important things: pray and go out of your way to make her feel loved! Go one more dates, do more nice things, help her realize that this doesn't mean you love her less, it actually means you love her more.

Evolution in nbd in the Catholic church so that's not an issue. The other two issues I'll try to address as best I can, but feel free to respond with more questions/clarifications if need be.

Confession - not sure what specifically you don't like about it so here we go

• this has a fairly in-depth answer about why we go to confession, but it's primarily meant to be a response to Protestants' inquiries regarding confession (not sure if that's where you are coming from)
  
  
• this is a better explanation if you're not coming to the table with a Protestant background or desires
  
  
• Over-all I would say the reason I go to confession is because I want to be back in union with God. Through sin I separate myself from Him and through Confession I am able to gain back this union. As human beings we want to have a tangible experience of forgiveness and going to confession provides us with this opportunity. We are able to bring everything in our heart to the table and leave it there. There are also the benefits of having someone (the priest) give you feedback on what to do so you don't commit certain sins again.
  
  So that's what I got on Confession.
  
  Ok so no premarital sex is complicated to explain, but very beautiful (in my opinion) once it is fully understood - but it's definitely not a sin you could ignore and be truly Catholic
  
  
• Your best bet if you want to understand what the Church teaches on premarital sex is to check out JPII's [Theology of the Body] (http://www.ewtn.com/library/PAPALDOC/JP2TBIND.HTM). It's a fairly dense text so I would recommend this as a starter text to get some background on things. There is also this book with is essentially the same information in a Q&A format.
  
  
• If that's a little too over-whelming this website has some decent Q&A about the topic - my one warning with that is that it's meant for teenagers for the most part and sometimes they over-simplify things or focus more on the negatives of having sex before marriage rather than the positives of waiting until marriage which I think is an unproductive approach, but what can you do...
  
  Hope some of that was helpful! If you are interested in the Catholic faith you can always try contacting your local parish and setting up a meeting with a priest who could talk you through any questions you might have. Best of luck!

It is absolutely my pleasure and prayer! You ask awesome questions. And I have some resources for you this time. Let’s start with studying what a “good Catholic marriage” looks like:

On TOB - Theology of the Body – One of the most famous teachings of the church. At a fundamental level, we are called to respect our bodies and others’ bodies and live in God’s divine image.
http://www.foryourmarriage.org/the-theology-of-the-body-according-to-pope-john-paul-ii/

On LOVE – we are called to love like God loves / love in God’s divine image (to the best of our abilities), NOT love how we think we should love.
http://www.usccb.org/beliefs-and-teachings/what-we-believe/love-and-sexuality/index.cfm
https://www.dominicanajournal.org/the-four-loves/
http://www.catholiclane.com/fruitful-love-symbolizes-gods-inner-life-says-pope-francis-amoris-laetitia/
https://mycatholic.life/the-my-catholic-life-series/my-catholic-morals/chapter-6-chastity-purity-affection-and-marital-love/
This book was recommended to me the day I asked some similar questions as you: https://www.amazon.com/Good-News-About-Marriage-Revised/dp/0867166193 and it answered more questions than I had.

On VOCATION – we are called to give ourselves to God (in one way or another)
https://www.osv.com/thechurch/humandignityandsexuality/article/tabid/658/artmid/13696/articleid/4394/theology-of-the-body-making-a-gift-of-self.aspx
http://www.usccb.org/beliefs-and-teachings/vocations/priesthood/ten-frequently-asked-questions-about-the-reservation-of-priestly-ordination-to-men.cfm

In terms of what holy matrimony isn’t, I encourage you to find the nearest priest and grill him in more detail on this! It’s best to have a conversation and they will do much better explaining than me. I grill them all the time. To your question, it would be really awesome that they are raising a child that would not otherwise be brought up in a loving and safe home. The issue is, again, what’s going on in the bedroom. The guidance is the exact same for my relationship and I run into the exact same temptation and sins in my marriage. I go to confession regularly when I’m not getting things quite right, but why don’t I get judged for the exact same sins? On the outside, my marriage looks great and normal. Right? Again, not acceptable by our standards. This goes back to the good ol Catholic teaching: you should not be judging anyone!!! Matthew 7:1-5. We are all sinners. We all have equal dignity.

On INFERTILITY – I believe there is no purposeful act of withholding oneself. "The male and female bodies are made to be able to procreate together. When infertility is apparent, the challenge is to diagnose and address problems so these bodies can function as they should—and there is no moral problem in doing this, any more than there is in other medical treatments to restore health." (Life Giving Love in an Age of Technology)
http://www.usccb.org/issues-and-action/marriage-and-family/natural-family-planning/resources/infertility.cfm
http://www.usccb.org/issues-and-action/human-life-and-dignity/reproductive-technology/begotten-not-made-a-catholic-view-of-reproductive-technology.cfm
Give those a read!

> Honestly, why not? I haven't actually read the rag, but it's just sex tips, right? Can't see what's wrong with that, especially if your wife knows what the catholic teachings are.

I highly regard you're post as a good one, but specifically with magazines like Cosmo I'd be really really skeptic, recently I believe they put out an article on a guide to anal sex for teenagers. I'd suggest OP read books by Catholic authors such as this: https://www.amazon.com/Good-News-About-Marriage-Revised/dp/0867166193/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1502761171&sr=8-2&keywords=Catholic+sex

A book I know that goes into this is "Good News about Sex and Marriage" by Christopher West. https://www.amazon.com/Good-News-About-Marriage-Revised/dp/0867166193/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3DRRMMRG82V3I&keywords=good+news+about+sex+and+marriage+by+christopher+west&qid=1570170450&sprefix=good+news+about+sex+and+%2Caps%2C214&sr=8-1

I really enjoyed the Good News about Sex & Marriage

https://www.amazon.com/Good-News-About-Marriage-Revised/dp/0867166193