Reddit reviews Grandparent's Guide to Autism Spectrum Disorders: Making the Most of the Time at Nana's House

Sounds like your mom has issues that need to be worked out.

However, lets go back. When your mom was growing up, there weren't disabled kids around. They were either in institutions, kept at home all the time, or at special schools. They were rarely out in public. There was a lot of shame involved. They were seen as lazy, stupid, and violent. So your mom has this mindset. Plus, when your mom was a bus driver, the kids were still pretty segregated from the rest of the school population and rules about restraints were pretty loose. (I am in no way excusing what she did, just bringing things into context.)

So here is a book

There is also this

When you talk to her, you need to establish ground rules. What to do when your son gets upset, how she is never allowed to touch him, etc.