We found 25 Reddit comments about Guide to the Good Life, A. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
> Do your thing, the way you want to, and I promise you no one will judge.
This is a component of the most important thing I've learned in my 20s, so far. I learned how to be truly happy:
You will never get rid of it entirely, but you can learn to be happy even as it's part of your life. I truly don't think there's a human being alive who doesn't experience existential dread in some form (unless you are literally fighting for survival everyday).
This book helped a lot for me: https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/1522632735
To summarize very quickly some of the points:
- we are all on a hedonistic treadmill where as soon as we get something we want we take it for granted and start wanting the next thing. Learn to desire the things you already have by practicing negative visualization, which is basically contemplating how you can lose everything you have and love in life. Sounds depressing as hell but it actually makes you start caring and desiring for the things, relationships, and opportunities already present in your life.
- Divide your problems into 3 categories, things you can control, things you have some control over, and things you have no control over. Worry about the first two categories, and for the second, internalize your goals (you can control how much work you put into a project, but you can't control how much other people will like it). For the third, stop worrying about it (easier said than done but still).
- Practice going without things you like for times to make you care about them more and maintain a healthy relationship with them (unhealthy but tasty food, alcohol, anything like that).
There's a lot more to it, but basically learning to loving yourself and the live you have instead of always wishing for a different one, being healthy and active, maintaining good relationships and recognizing that comparison is the enemy of joy can help you find fulfillment in life.
This may sound a bit pretentious, but it may help someone, so here we go.
A couple of key things you mentioned; the slow adaptation to a higher-than-normal standard of living is sometimes referred to as "lifestyle creep" and is really easy to fall into.
A related topic is that buying things sure does feel good...for a moment. Unfortunately, this "hedonic treadmill" doesn't endure, and is just as you say: a momentary happiness or sadness doesn't last.
There's a lot of people talking about stoicism, or Stoic philosophy, and it's an interesting mindset to follow. Parts of it boil down to "be comfortable being uncomfortable". One of the major writers was Seneca, and a favorite passage is in this letter:: " Set aside a certain number of days, during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare, with coarse and rough dress, saying to yourself the while: "Is this the condition that I feared?" "
This is supposed to remind you that you don't need luxury to survive; lentils and hamburger helper is fine, not buying new clothes is fine, staying home and reading a book is fine, etc. A reset, an antidote, to being aggressively marketed and pressured to consume ever more.
That philosophy kind of intertwines with Buddhist non-attachment, Krishnamurti's sense of self, and a Spartan ideal of hardiness that many people find useful. A lot of Seneca's work is available for free from a podcast guy you may have heard of if you're interested. Irvine also had a book you should be able to find at most libraries.
Side note, everyone should have a spreadsheet tracking finances; use Google Sheets if you have to, or Mint or YNAB, but you have to be honest with incoming and outgoing streams. Treat debt like an emergency..
Thanks for your post, I hope it helps people realize that most of us were never taught good habits about money, and we're constantly told to spend our money; for instance, everything can be financed into monthly payments to satisfy our short-term wants but we pay so much interest it's usually a bad idea...
These books helped me:
Man, I'm sorry, that sucks.
A few things to keep in mind:
it is worth noting that I am not the person who made the root comment you originally replied to.
Other than that, yea, sometimes, I try to leave emotion out of my decision making as much as I can, I also try to engage with those in my life, at least over things like this, with as much calm and rationality as I can summon.
If you are curious about why that is I invite you to read Bill Irvine's Guide to the Good Life on Stoicism as it was originally intended, and how it can help lead a more joyful life, if you so desire. It also serves as a fantastic practical primer for starting to institute Stoic practices and attitudes into your own life today.
A Guide to the Good Life describes number 2 and 3 pretty well (along with a lot more). Don't think I saw it mention the view from above strategy though.
Got an interview today, and setting up interviews for the next few days.
From Stoic Joy, on an asshole insulting you:
Suppose that I take him to be a thoroughly contemptible individual. Under such circumstances, rather than feeling hurt by his insults, I should feel relieved: If he disapproves of what I am doing, then what I am doing is doubtless the right thing to do. What should worry me is if this contemptible person approved of what I am doing.
Here are some things to consider:
Well, never thought I'd be recommending philosophy or religion for someone on Patient Gamers but here goes.
Difficulty enjoying the present is something I've struggled with and hope I'm getting better at.
I'm no expert but Buddhism seems like a great system for more emotionally driven people to get over this problem.
For more analytic types, and as for myself, studying what the ancient Stoics wrote has been super helpful (like, SUPER). Here's a really good starter: https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/1522632735
I have a fluffy hippie piece of advice. Try reading up on the Stoic philosophy and slowly start putting their advice into action.
I know it sounds outlandish but reading the Stoics and doing some mindfulness meditation have done wonders for my confidence and quieting that inner Bojack Horseman voice that tells you you suck. In a nutshell they offer actionable advice on how to take a proactive rather than reactive outlook on life.
Here's a good book on it (https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/1522632735). Some Stoic experts have called it watered down but I say it's a great starting point. The primary literature on Stoicism is often written in flower overly formal language that can be hard to follow, but this is very approachable.
great audio book https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/1522632735
A Guide to the Good Life is a book on Stoicism that helped me out a lot when I was depressed and nothing was doing my way. This book also helps out cope with loss and failures. I know your situation is way more fucked up than a book can help, but this is a good book to try.
This was my first book
Male client here. Agree with Remy.
Of course, getting over someone is easier said than done. I recommend "A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy" by William B. Irvine for some ideas on how to deal with unpleasant facts of life in a productive way.
You might also find cognitive behavior therapy helpful for stopping obsessive thoughts.
>the guy that wants to sing kumbaya with the trees and whales
>So yeah, how can I not let their comments get to me?
Try with this and this.
I would read books about Stoicism.
Archived for your convenience
Not sure about the book mentioned in this title, but a great read for new stoics is: https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic/dp/1522632735.
Audio book is cheap.
Author: William B. Irvine
I'd recommend "A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy" by William B. Irvine. You can skip part one if you're not interested in the history of it.
It's a philosophy of life and goes into how you can live a good and virtuous (old definition) life. But for most people, you just use it to control your emotional responses to the outside world and be happy with what/who you have regardless of the circumstances. Eventually, you can achieve a state of near-constant joy in knowing that the outside world (outside your mind/control) is neither good nor bad. Couple this with stoic teachings on how to live a good life and you'll find that you have/do less, but are completely delighted with where/what you are doing in life; even if most other people would be cursing their luck.
It's the philosophy that lets men and women look at an unavoidable death (e.g. cancer) and accept it without overwhelming fear and worry. If you actually care, then get the book (also Audiobook & free with Audible) called: A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy. It's a very popular book and a very easy listen.
or just do a lot of acid and hope for permanent depersonalization/"ego death"
this is if you actually want to solve the root of your "rage/tilt issues" not just slap a bandaid on it.
I think melancholy in general has to be actively managed. I think building habits that actively manage melancholy when you're feeling good increase your chances of being able to maintain those habits when you're not feeling good.
Here are some things that I believe are important for mental health:
Read this seriously.