Reddit Reddit reviews Guide to the Good Life, A

We found 25 Reddit comments about Guide to the Good Life, A. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

Personal Transformation Self-Help
Guide to the Good Life, A
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25 Reddit comments about Guide to the Good Life, A:

u/thevoiceofzeke · 59 pointsr/AskMen

> Do your thing, the way you want to, and I promise you no one will judge.

This is a component of the most important thing I've learned in my 20s, so far. I learned how to be truly happy:

  1. Love the people around you: If you feel resentful, jealous, judgmental, or angry, you're just letting people disturb your peace. There's no need for it. Stop judging, hating, making assumptions, etc. If people seem terrible to you, either try to empathize or ignore them. "Love" them by not being disturbed by their existence. Recognize that they have an entire life of their own that is as deep and complicated as yours.
  2. Love yourself: Hard to do, but can be made a lot easier by regularly setting achievable goals. I have benefitted hugely from trying to constantly improve at everything I do (sports, fitness, reading, video games, socializing, being kinder to others, etc.), and even more from valuing the process of improvement over some arbitrary end goal. Realize that your value is self-determined and not dependent on other peoples' evaluations of you, because other people have an infinite number of complicating reasons for thinking of you the way they do, many of which are dependent upon their own sense of self-worth and happiness. It's so subjective.
  3. Pursue a virtuous life: This is the all-encompassing key to happiness, for me. It includes loving (forgiving) others and loving (forgiving) yourself, but it also means you should stay busy, stay trying, stay improving, stay pursuing. Realize that happiness is not an end goal. Being happy 100% of the time is impossible, and true happiness is in the pursuit. It comes from things as simple as complimenting others when you don't have to, and from things as complex as volunteering your extra time for a worthy cause. Derive your value from the journey, not the destination.

    These are things I've heard and been told my whole life, and it turns out it's actually super easy to put them into practice. You just have to start. I cannot overstate the benefits. I struggled with depression, insecurity, loneliness, and a handful of other afflictions for years. I will always have occasional bouts of sadness or loneliness, but over the past few years they have become less and less frequent, and when they do happen, they are mild and short-lived.

    Discovering Stoicism changed my life. This book is a good entry point, if anyone's interested.
u/JavaOffScript · 20 pointsr/jobs

You will never get rid of it entirely, but you can learn to be happy even as it's part of your life. I truly don't think there's a human being alive who doesn't experience existential dread in some form (unless you are literally fighting for survival everyday).

This book helped a lot for me:

To summarize very quickly some of the points:

- we are all on a hedonistic treadmill where as soon as we get something we want we take it for granted and start wanting the next thing. Learn to desire the things you already have by practicing negative visualization, which is basically contemplating how you can lose everything you have and love in life. Sounds depressing as hell but it actually makes you start caring and desiring for the things, relationships, and opportunities already present in your life.

- Divide your problems into 3 categories, things you can control, things you have some control over, and things you have no control over. Worry about the first two categories, and for the second, internalize your goals (you can control how much work you put into a project, but you can't control how much other people will like it). For the third, stop worrying about it (easier said than done but still).

- Practice going without things you like for times to make you care about them more and maintain a healthy relationship with them (unhealthy but tasty food, alcohol, anything like that).

There's a lot more to it, but basically learning to loving yourself and the live you have instead of always wishing for a different one, being healthy and active, maintaining good relationships and recognizing that comparison is the enemy of joy can help you find fulfillment in life.

u/cihmapoutlisce · 14 pointsr/povertyfinance

This may sound a bit pretentious, but it may help someone, so here we go.

A couple of key things you mentioned; the slow adaptation to a higher-than-normal standard of living is sometimes referred to as "lifestyle creep" and is really easy to fall into.

A related topic is that buying things sure does feel good...for a moment. Unfortunately, this "hedonic treadmill" doesn't endure, and is just as you say: a momentary happiness or sadness doesn't last.

There's a lot of people talking about stoicism, or Stoic philosophy, and it's an interesting mindset to follow. Parts of it boil down to "be comfortable being uncomfortable". One of the major writers was Seneca, and a favorite passage is in this letter:: " Set aside a certain number of days, during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare, with coarse and rough dress, saying to yourself the while: "Is this the condition that I feared?" "

This is supposed to remind you that you don't need luxury to survive; lentils and hamburger helper is fine, not buying new clothes is fine, staying home and reading a book is fine, etc. A reset, an antidote, to being aggressively marketed and pressured to consume ever more.

That philosophy kind of intertwines with Buddhist non-attachment, Krishnamurti's sense of self, and a Spartan ideal of hardiness that many people find useful. A lot of Seneca's work is available for free from a podcast guy you may have heard of if you're interested. Irvine also had a book you should be able to find at most libraries.

Side note, everyone should have a spreadsheet tracking finances; use Google Sheets if you have to, or Mint or YNAB, but you have to be honest with incoming and outgoing streams. Treat debt like an emergency..

Thanks for your post, I hope it helps people realize that most of us were never taught good habits about money, and we're constantly told to spend our money; for instance, everything can be financed into monthly payments to satisfy our short-term wants but we pay so much interest it's usually a bad idea...

u/obviouslyaman · 6 pointsr/NSFWIAMA

Man, I'm sorry, that sucks.

A few things to keep in mind:

  • Most women don't get off on penetrative sex alone. Most require oral or manual stimulation as well.
    Remember, lesbians have healthy sex lives without a penis at all.

  • Don't build up sex to be more than it is. It feels great, don't get me wrong. But the cuddling, talking, massage, are just as important, if not more so.

  • Consider hiring a sex worker. For the most part, they don't care how you look, as long as you're clean, respectful, and pay well. That way, you can take as long as you want, and don't have to worry about pleasing her. They will also help you learn how to please a woman.

  • Work out, and lose weight. If your body is otherwise rocking, and you have the rest of your life in order, a lot of women are going to overlook the size of your penis. As a young man, you have a lot of advantages that you don't appreciate now: clear skin, rapid recovery ability, full head of hair. Make use of it! A lot of old men would happily trade their bodies with yours, micropenis or no.

  • It sounds like you suffer from anxiety and depression as well. If you haven't taken MDMA yet, I recommend taking it sometime, so you know what it feels like to not have anxiety and depression. It will also help you to feel self acceptance for your body. I also recommend getting your testosterone checked, if you haven't already. Consider taking supplemental testosterone, especially if you're at the low end of normal. It will help you build muscle and feel more confident.

  • Consider reading this book:

    Right now, you're focused a lot on what you don't have. This book will help you learn how to be content regardless of what you have.
u/srottydoesntknow · 4 pointsr/DeadBedrooms

it is worth noting that I am not the person who made the root comment you originally replied to.

Other than that, yea, sometimes, I try to leave emotion out of my decision making as much as I can, I also try to engage with those in my life, at least over things like this, with as much calm and rationality as I can summon.

If you are curious about why that is I invite you to read Bill Irvine's Guide to the Good Life on Stoicism as it was originally intended, and how it can help lead a more joyful life, if you so desire. It also serves as a fantastic practical primer for starting to institute Stoic practices and attitudes into your own life today.

u/7121958041201 · 4 pointsr/howtonotgiveafuck

A Guide to the Good Life describes number 2 and 3 pretty well (along with a lot more). Don't think I saw it mention the view from above strategy though.

u/danimoth2 · 3 pointsr/getdisciplined

Got an interview today, and setting up interviews for the next few days.

From Stoic Joy, on an asshole insulting you:

Suppose that I take him to be a thoroughly contemptible individual. Under such circumstances, rather than feeling hurt by his insults, I should feel relieved: If he disapproves of what I am doing, then what I am doing is doubtless the right thing to do. What should worry me is if this contemptible person approved of what I am doing.

  • / Morning routine, 500 words, limit to 1 pomo.
  • / Writing prompt, then spend 3 minutes giving a speech on what you wrote.
  • / Meditate.
  • / Bike stretching exercise.
  • / Post to /r/getdisciplined.
  • / (105/100) upper body exercises.
  • / (100/100) core whatever.
  • / Take supplements/meds.
  • Programming:
    • / 8/5 pomos front-end.
      • / Reorganize app folder structure.
      • CRUD books.
      • / CRUD pomodoros/expenses.
    • 1/4 pomos back-end.
      • CRUD pomodoros/expenses.
    • 1 pomo server.
      • A Cloud Guru AWS cert thingie.
  • Writing:
    • x Hmm.
  • Self-Improvement:
    • 1/1 pomo read Stoic Joy.
  • Danimoth2 Inc:
    • x Buffer up → Source material = the thing you read in the self-improvement book.
    • / Interview with NS Inc.
    • / Set up interview with BS Inc.
    • / 1 pomo read biz stuff.
  • Fitness:
    • / Break fast at 2pm.
    • / Last meal (salad) at 8pm.
    • x Bike.
u/Blozi · 3 pointsr/DecidingToBeBetter

Here are some things to consider:

  • Pause and consider whether the insulter may actually be right. If so, there is no point in getting upset. Just as if someone came up to you and told you your eyes were blue (assuming they are) you would not be upset.

  • Perhaps the person insulting you is doing so out of ignorance about your character, or of what you said or did. In which case, the proper response is to educate them. If they don't respond to education, they are simply ignorant and not worthy of your consideration.

  • Consider the source of the insult: if you respect the person and value their opinions, try to learn from the episode. If you don’t, then why are you getting worked up? Indeed, you should be relieved: if that person disapproves of you, you are likely doing something right!

  • Another way to look at the source of the insult: sometimes the people in question are simply behaving like overgrown children, or perhaps they have deep flaws in their own character. They then deserve our pity, not our anger. You wouldn't get upset over a toddler calling you a butthead right? Often it's the same situation when you're dealing with the overgrown children that like to insult others.

    Finally, there is also the standard response taught by the Stoics, in this case from Epictetus: “another person will not do you harm unless you wish it; you will be harmed at just that time at which you take yourself to be harmed.”

    Epictetus has some solid advice about handling insults:
    >Remember that foul words or blows in themselves are no outrage, but your judgement that they are so. So when any one makes you angry, know that it is your own thought that has angered you. Wherefore make it your first endeavour not to let your impressions carry you away. For if once you gain time and delay, you will find it easier to control yourself.

    (Enchiridion, 20)

    >If you hear that someone has criticized you, don’t try to defend yourself, but say instead: “He doesn’t know all my faults, or he would have had more to say.”

    (Enchiridion, 33)

    Essentially, words cannot hurt you unless you allow them to. It is not the words that hurt us, but rather our reaction to those words. So if you wish to experience less negative emotion, you need to stop and challenge your impression by considering whether it is rational to let yourself become upset. If you value your happiness, the answer will be no.

    The ability to reason yourself out of experiencing negative emotions is something that takes practice to cultivate, especially so when your instinctual reaction is to get upset. But with time, you can achieve peace of mind. If you want to learn more about the Stoic perspective consider reading the book "A Guide to the Good Life" by William B. Irvine
u/misterdirector1 · 3 pointsr/patientgamers

Well, never thought I'd be recommending philosophy or religion for someone on Patient Gamers but here goes.

Difficulty enjoying the present is something I've struggled with and hope I'm getting better at.

I'm no expert but Buddhism seems like a great system for more emotionally driven people to get over this problem.

For more analytic types, and as for myself, studying what the ancient Stoics wrote has been super helpful (like, SUPER). Here's a really good starter:

u/Seabreeze515 · 3 pointsr/premed

I have a fluffy hippie piece of advice. Try reading up on the Stoic philosophy and slowly start putting their advice into action.

I know it sounds outlandish but reading the Stoics and doing some mindfulness meditation have done wonders for my confidence and quieting that inner Bojack Horseman voice that tells you you suck. In a nutshell they offer actionable advice on how to take a proactive rather than reactive outlook on life.

Here's a good book on it ( Some Stoic experts have called it watered down but I say it's a great starting point. The primary literature on Stoicism is often written in flower overly formal language that can be hard to follow, but this is very approachable.

u/FeetOnGrass · 2 pointsr/GetMotivated

A Guide to the Good Life is a book on Stoicism that helped me out a lot when I was depressed and nothing was doing my way. This book also helps out cope with loss and failures. I know your situation is way more fucked up than a book can help, but this is a good book to try.

u/cat-gun · 1 pointr/SexWorkers

Male client here. Agree with Remy.

Of course, getting over someone is easier said than done. I recommend "A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy" by William B. Irvine for some ideas on how to deal with unpleasant facts of life in a productive way.

You might also find cognitive behavior therapy helpful for stopping obsessive thoughts.

u/In_der_Tat · 1 pointr/ecology

>the guy that wants to sing kumbaya with the trees and whales

Good one.

>So yeah, how can I not let their comments get to me?

Try with this and this.

u/SnapshillBot · 1 pointr/MGTOW

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u/ramsfan2048 · 1 pointr/Stoicism

Not sure about the book mentioned in this title, but a great read for new stoics is:

u/a_shrewdness_of_apes · 1 pointr/Stoicism

Audio book is cheap.

Author: William B. Irvine

u/zenith20 · 1 pointr/Stoicism

I'd recommend "A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy" by William B. Irvine. You can skip part one if you're not interested in the history of it.

u/[deleted] · 1 pointr/Tulpas

It's a philosophy of life and goes into how you can live a good and virtuous (old definition) life. But for most people, you just use it to control your emotional responses to the outside world and be happy with what/who you have regardless of the circumstances. Eventually, you can achieve a state of near-constant joy in knowing that the outside world (outside your mind/control) is neither good nor bad. Couple this with stoic teachings on how to live a good life and you'll find that you have/do less, but are completely delighted with where/what you are doing in life; even if most other people would be cursing their luck.

It's the philosophy that lets men and women look at an unavoidable death (e.g. cancer) and accept it without overwhelming fear and worry. If you actually care, then get the book (also Audiobook & free with Audible) called: A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy. It's a very popular book and a very easy listen.

u/SolidRetard · 1 pointr/QuakeChampions
u/spblat · 1 pointr/AskMenOver30

I think melancholy in general has to be actively managed. I think building habits that actively manage melancholy when you're feeling good increase your chances of being able to maintain those habits when you're not feeling good.

Here are some things that I believe are important for mental health:

  • Exercise, even if it's just taking a walk.
  • Take your vitamins.
  • Cultivate and maintain a community of IRL friends.
  • Practice mindfulness.
  • Look into Stoicism, which offers (IMHO) a nice way of looking at the world. The Epictetus quote elsewhere in this thread is central to Stoicism.