Reddit reviews He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

Ahem

I understand. Its the feeling of rejection. We want to be loved and admired and when someone says they feel things aren't going right, you feel like something is wrong with you. This is the time to arm yourself heavily with self esteem tools. Take care of yourself and remind yourself that there is nothing wrong with you. That you have much to offer and are a great person. Magnificent. Astounding. Wonderful. If you're experiencing what I am, you might be feeling potential separation anxiety.

​

These are some affirmations I am using that could be helpful...

1. My distress is a result of brain chemistry and I’m not crazy. Just temporarily off balance.
   
2. My anxieties and insecurities don’t necessarily reflect what’s really going on or what he’s thinking or feeling.
   
3. Just because he broke up with me doesn’t mean that what we had wasn’t real. It’s simply not real any more.
   
4. I shall respectfully honor his request for space.
   
5. Seeking contact (stalking, pleading) does not bring relief, it only brings shame.
   
6. Instead of thinking, I have to get him to tell me the truth, change his mind, stop cheating, etc., I shall stop caring what he does or how he feels.
   
7. It is a mistake to heed the voice inside my head that urges me to seek him out. That voice comes from pain, insecurity, and fear and is not the BEST me.
   
8. When that voice is triggered, I shall turn toward myself or a good friend for reassurance, not him.
   
9. When I am triggered, I shall mindfully observe my physiology and let it wane without trying to fix it. Rather than thinking I have to see him and recapture what was, I shall think, Oh, look at that. I’m having an anxious moment. This too shall pass. Also try unfurrowing your brow. A calm face leads to a calm mind.
   
10. When triggered, I shall give myself a 90-second timeout for my physiology to calm down—and I shall not renew my distress by focusing on what’s upsetting to me.
    
11. I shall not measure my worth by his attitude toward me. His attitude is a reflection on him, not me.
    
12. He’s just not that into me, and I shall spend my time with people who appreciate me. Life is too short to do otherwise.
    
13. Distance from him is what heals me. Whenever I try to get close again, it’s like picking off a scab and making it bleed. I’m only forcing myself to go through the agony of withdrawal all over again. When a scab has formed, I shall let it heal over completely.
    
14. I shall not justify seeking closeness as an attempt to keep my lover as a friend. I cannot afford a friendship until I’m completely over him and no longer even remotely triggered. And it’s okay if we don’t remain friends. Moving on is a sign of personal growth.
    
15. It’s okay for me to feel sad that this relationship has ended. As I grieve, I am moving toward healing.
    
16. I am a growing, changing person and can learn from this experience.
    
17. I shall take the high road and behave in ways that have dignity and restore my self-respect.
    
18. I shall do what nurtures my health and wholeness. (Natural serotonin and dopamine boosters include physical activity, sunshine on my skin, smiling, and good nutrition including plenty of protein, vegetables, B vitamins, and bananas.)
    
19. When I take care of myself, I feel confident, optimistic, attractive, and authentic.
    
20. The more I behave like a sane person, the more I’ll feel like a sane person.
    
21. To resist focusing on a dead relationship, I shall focus on living my BEST life.
    
22. I shall seek out what energizes me, not what drains me.
    
23. I shall remember that my success is the best revenge!

http://www.amazon.com/Hes-Just-That-Into-Understanding/dp/068987474X

He's Just Not That Into You was written by an opinionated jackass(es, technically) who sabotages guys by misinforming impressionable girls who tend to believe what they read as dogma, i.e., Cosmo addicts.

I don't mean to sound mean, but nonsense like this annoys me. On the one hand women want equality, on the other they expect guys doing this for them, especially after reading nonsensical "to [don't] do" books/magazines.

If you like someone, ask them out. That's it.

I don't want to jump to conclusions, but it sounds like if he a)doesn't want to skype with you b)doesn't like talking on the phone much c) turns you down when you offer to drive to see him d) consistently says he doesn't have time, maybe hes Just not that into you

I don't think he is interested in you anymore. Read some random pages from this book online: (click 'surprise me').

http://www.amazon.ca/Hes-Just-That-Into-Understanding/dp/068987474X

Reverse the situation. Whenever someone text you or emails you, wait 1 hour or double as long as it took her to reply to you before responding back.
Let's say you text her something, she replies right away: you wait 1 hour.
Let''s say she responds after one day, you wait 2 days.

Once a girl replied to my email after 1 week. I waited 2 weeks before replying back. After a while she started responding right away, and I did an f-close once we finally got together.
You are always busy, and you make time for the important things in life, they need to become important.

I picked that up from the book: He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys.
That's what some do to you. A little of insiders' information for countermeasure.

http://www.amazon.com/Hes-Just-That-Into-Understanding/dp/068987474X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1331866374&sr=8-1

Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you.

Edit:
I thought I should be more constructive with my feedback. I've read a bit of PUA stuff and like others have said there are good parts and bad parts.

But, I specifically remember the PUAs talking about getting comfortable talking to women in general, so that when a woman you find especially "interesting, funny, smart" or hot comes along you'll be able to talk to her. Your point that all PUAs are only about getting the hottest women is just wrong.

Now, I don't think all women can be generalized, and that pressing the correct button will make you attractive to every woman. But there are cultural and social norms that can be learned and discussed. I think you could find a lot of women's self-help books that make just as many generalizations about men.

Finally, going back to my original comment, I think you're only choosing to see the bad parts of the PUA stuff.