Reddit Reddit reviews He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

We found 21 Reddit comments about He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

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He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
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21 Reddit comments about He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys:

u/Ladyloveslifting · 20 pointsr/USMilitarySO

>But then in the same breath he said that he didn't feel that "romantic spark"

Girl. Run. He's leading you on. He's getting the benefits of a relationship without a commitment. I'm not saying he's doing it intentionally or trying to manipulate the situation, but honestly. Just let this one go.

Often I think that people post about a down SO and the SO is just having deployment blues. It happens occasionally where the servicemember has a breakdown break-up (everything is hard and I'm miserable; let's break up). It resolves in a day with apologies and tears and a plan to move forward.

This isn't the case with this dude. He broke it off what? A month ago? And he's been enjoying the attention and benefits of having a girlfriend but without having one. Meanwhile, you're hanging on his every word (or the emphasis on his every word), and doing all kinds of sweet girlfriend-like things for him and getting nothing in return. This dude is just not that into you.

On top of that - let's say it happens. He gets back. He's willing to take a chance and commit. What then? How do you trust him again to be fully committed to you? How do you trust that the next time he goes on deployment he doesn't want to break it off for the same reasons?

You seem like you make a really good girlfriend. Go be a good girlfriend to someone who is a really good boyfriend in return.

u/Atlas_B_Shruggin · 9 pointsr/PurplePillDebate

https://www.amazon.com/Hes-Just-That-Into-Understanding/dp/141690977X

best seller, was made into a movie

www.therulesrevisited.com very popular

are you aware of thousands of xtian websites with men giving sex dating and marital advice to women and declaiming on the female role in the world?

what do you think doctor phil does?

u/CantaloupeCamper · 8 pointsr/timberwolves
u/spazzypecan · 7 pointsr/CFBOffTopic

[Time to cut your losses and move on.](He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys https://www.amazon.com/dp/141690977X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_wgLNybPRSJNBJ)

u/Mambo_5 · 6 pointsr/AdviceAnimals

Every time I see the friend zone argument I always remind everyone of the unattractive girl that doesn't qualify for a guy. If the friend zone exists for you poor fucks who cannot handle rejection, it exists for her too. There's a book called "he's just not that into you" for girls facing rejection because women deal with it too.

Boys, grow the fuck up, everyone deals with rejection, women too. Stop blaming people for not being attracted to you, it's happened to a girl about you, I promise you and they don't blame you, they blame themselves. A much more honest and painful realization than "fuck her for putting me in the friend zone."

u/FlyoverSD · 5 pointsr/sugarlifestyleforum

> And I also know that it isn't that he isn't into me, I know he is, but not ENOUGH to be thinking about me at random moments through the day.

Listen, you're kidding yourself. You say he travels a lot for work? You know the thing about that is it means he would spend a lot of time in airports and on airplanes (which, btw, have internet access now), so if you were a priority for him he has plenty of time to message you.

Read this book, it applies to SD's as much as any other men you are involved with.

u/bethereason · 3 pointsr/relationship_advice

My suggestion? Buy and read: "He's just not that into you." http://www.amazon.com/Hes-Just-That-Into-Understanding/dp/141690977X

IDK if that's it, but he's saving himself for marriage ... and, so far, he hasn't made it clear it will be with you, right? You seem to be more ready for the next step than he is. Unless you want to continue as is for who knows how long, it's time to get real with his lack of effort. He's actually letting you know exactly how he feels, which some guys don't do. So be grateful. Don't worry about if you're a good gf. You deserve someone who can't wait to plan a future with you rather than putting you off. Google "he's just not that into me/you" there are lots of sites out there, too, that will help you figure out just where you stand.

Another good book: "Act like a lady, think like a man." http://www.amazon.com/Act-Like-Lady-Think-Relationships/dp/0061728985

edit: add 2nd book

u/dataset · 2 pointsr/AskReddit
u/oditogre · 2 pointsr/relationship_advice

>edit Well, everyone is either down-voting this post for some reason or saying the same thing: "Just ask him out!". Even though I specifically said I didn't want to have to ask him out. I mean, I'll do it (eventually) but... wow. Down-votes and advice I specifically asked not to receive. Great. Helped a lot. Sigh.

"Dear AskReddit,

I have a giant lump growing out of my face. Any advice? And please don't tell me to go see a doctor. I know it's obviously the right answer, but I personally see myself as too good to go to a doctor, and don't want to hear people pointing out what a wrongheaded point of view that is.

Thanks!"

>he just shrugged and said he could use his AAA card to get a tow-truck for me.

That line pretty much sums it up, so yeah...

If you want anything to come of this crush, you're going to have to take the initiative.

u/doshka · 2 pointsr/JUSTNOMIL

Maybe DH needs a copy of "He's Just Not That Into You".

u/krcook510 · 1 pointr/Random_Acts_Of_Amazon

[On average, each human foot produces a pint of sweat a day.] (http://health.howstuffworks.com/skin-care/information/anatomy/question514.htm) Which is why you should throw away all your cotton socks and buy wool or synthetic. [Used is fine] (http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/141690977X/ref=tmm_pap_used_olp_sr?ie=UTF8&condition=used&sr=&qid=)

u/miznomer · 1 pointr/AskWomen

I touched on this above, but I guess I can elaborate. Again, I'm talking about my experience with social groups/cultures I've been in.

Basically, it's pretty common for women who make the first move to develop a reputation for being pushy, needy, desperate, slutty, etc. Some of that comes from men who don't know how to handle being pursued by someone they're not into, some of it comes from other men and women who see it happening. I know you could say this is analogous to the whole "creepshaming" thing, but in my experience it happens way faster and with less cause. I'm guessing because the woman approaching is breaking a social norm, where the man approaching, even if he does it in the "wrong" way, isn't.

Plus, once you have that reputation it's kind of self-perpetuating. You get an "Oh my god, look at her throwing herself at him" one time, and then that's what you're doing every time you approach from then on. That negatively impacts the way other people see you, including romantic interests. It's not a big deal if you're looking for a ONS or whatever with a stranger, since how are they supposed to know, but if you want actual relationships with people you already know, it can cause issues.

In addition to that, if everybody in your social circle is really invested in the idea that men pursue and women don't, then breaking out of that makes any rejection conspicuous in a way that it wouldn't be otherwise. So there's an extra dose of humiliation on top of your rejection.

And then you get guys who seriously dislike being asked out, who basically ruin it for everyone. With them in the mix, it's like, I could ruin this from the start by making the first move, or I could flirt and signal and whatever like everybody says I'm supposed to anyway and he'll probably ask me out whether he's OK with being approached or not.

EDIT: I do want to say, like I said in the other comment, it's not like this happens every time. I've pursued before and it's been fine. But it's common enough that, coupled with sometimes quite explicit pressure to never make the first move or too many moves (the He's Just Not That Into You-type mentality is pretty popular with people I know), sometimes it's not worth it.

u/blackberrycat · 1 pointr/relationships

Quote from He's Just Not That Into You, chapter 7 "...if he's not marrying you": "What kind of knucklehead has a problem marrying the love of his life?" Your bf may not be that into marriage, but he wouldn't be doing it for himself, he'd be doing it for you/the relationship, because he loves you and it would make you happy. I suggest you get the book out of the library and read the whole thing.
http://www.amazon.com/Hes-Just-That-Into-Understanding/dp/141690977X

u/tomorrowgirl · 1 pointr/relationship_advice

This is going to sound like I'm just being a bitch but for real, there is a book you should read. It's called He's Just Not That Into You.

u/lsumoose · 1 pointr/askgaybros

Reading this book really changed my perspective when I was dating. It really breaks it down to be as simple as it truly is...that’s he’s just not that into you. Guys are simple, but at the same time don’t have the balls to tell you how they truly feel. This book gave me a lot of power and helped prevent heartbreak by realizing this sooner in a relationship. I’d recommend it to anyone...male, female, gay or straight.


https://www.amazon.com/Hes-Just-That-Into-Understanding/dp/141690977X

u/BitchesMakePuppies · 1 pointr/AskTrollX

People sometimes shit on it but, He's Just Not That Into You is something all single men and women should read. The jist of it in your situation is that you shouldn't fight to convince someone to be with you. Don't make excuses for other people's behavior. Take it at face value. Your BF told you he wants to break up. Believe him.

Is there a chance he'll wake up tomorrow and think he's made a huge mistake? Sure, but there's a chance that you'll also get struck by lightening. You can't and don't expect it to happen.

Go no contact (/r/ExNoContact), and work on placing value in building a great relationship with yourself.

u/LP4889 · 1 pointr/relationship_advice

If you’re not abusive, neglectful, or just an asshole, you didn’t do anything wrong. It hurts to be left that way, but you don’t need to reflect on your nice behavior because one person left.

A few very powerful messages for me:

This book is spoken toward girls, but it really it just relationship advice in general.

https://www.amazon.com/Hes-Just-That-Into-Understanding/dp/141690977X/ref=asc_df_141690977X_nodl/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312057360383&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=5468491066449240089&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1014843&hvtargid=aud-800640527683:pla-436583294301&psc=1


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Af-jZUR3ua0