Reddit reviews Home Comforts: The Art and Science of Keeping House
We found 16 Reddit comments about Home Comforts: The Art and Science of Keeping House. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
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> I moved out a few years ago and I couldn't figure out how everyone else kept their homes so tidy. I'd clear up, mop, throw away rubbish, bleach everything and within a week it was back to tiptoe-ing over bags of things and empty food packets and cat litter.
One of the things I realized when I first moved out on my own was that my parents had taught me how to clean, but not when to clean.
Actually, that's not quite accurate. I was taught that when it all became too much (usually about once every two to three months), to devote an whole weekend (or as much as a week during summer vacation) to an all-out, full court press approach to cleaning. Starting on Friday night there would be hours and hours of non-stop sorting, organizing, throwing away, dusting, sweeping, mopping, etc.. It meant giving up an entire weekend, was utterly exhausting, and was extremely demotivating. When I moved out on my own, I never wanted to clean when things got bad because I learned this was how you clean house.
What I eventually figured out is that the best housekeepers--once they have their house where they want it--spend somewhere between 10 and 30 minutes a day maintaining the state of the house. So rather than spending two to three days on one huge deep-cleaning rampage, good housekeepers break cleaning down into small, manageable tasks that only take a few minutes every day. Essentially, they do a handful of daily cleaning tasks, and one slightly larger cleaning task, per day.
It was like a light bulb turning on in my head. I would much rather spend 15 or 30 minutes a day tidying up than three or more days deep-cleaning every two or three months.
If you ever read the classic children's book Little House on the Prairie, you might recall Ma Ingall's housekeeping schedule:
> "Wash on Monday,
>
> Iron on Tuesday,
>
> Mend on Wednesday,
>
> Churn on Thursday,
>
> Clean on Friday,
>
> Bake on Saturday,
>
> Rest on Sunday."
If you've ever read any books on the history of housekeeping (Home Comforts by Cheryl Mendelson is a nice introduction to it), you'll know that the above was the traditional housekeeping schedule for much of American history. Some folks have come up with modernized versions (example), and of course I just posted one here yesterday.
The point of schedules like this is three-fold:
And here's a secret that I learned when I adopted a housekeeping schedule: If something happens and you can't do your routine for a day or two, your house doesn't immediately descend into utter chaos. Trust me when I tell you, it's a LOT easier to recover from missing a couple of days of small tasks that from a giant hoard.
"Wash on Monday" is, at it's essence, the same thing as the "Starting Small" approach mentioned in the Hoarding Resource List in the sidebar. It's breaking down housekeeping into manageable tasks, saying "Today I will work on X, and only X."
What ultimately worked for me was this:
Campbell has owned/run a professional housekeeping service in California for decades, and their service is known for being able to clean a standard-size 1-story home in 15 minutes or less. This book breaks down their cleaning method for the homeowner--Campbell tells you what cleaning tools and chemicals to use (and why), tells you what rooms to start in (and why), tells you where in that room to start (and why), and literally walks you through how to clean an individual room. It is NOT a book of housekeeping "tips", but actual instructions on how to clean in a certain way, and why that way is both effective and efficient.
Campbell's method is now how I clean my house, and I absolutely recommend this book to any recovering hoarder who's gotten past the retaining-items stage and is now trying to develop housekeeping skills. I will state that the very first time you try his cleaning method, it won't take 15 minutes per room because obviously you're starting out learning it. But as you continue to use it and get used to it, you will speed up considerably.
It sounds like right now you have a lot of clutter to get rid of, but it also sounds like you know how to get rid of it and are able to let go, and that puts you WAY ahead of a lot of hoarders. Once you get your apartment back where you want it, I suggest that you:
Finally, if you get to a point in your recovery where you want to start exploring different housekeeping systems, please visit /r/messyhomes. The mod, /u/Bellainara has hoarding tendencies herself, and welcomes people with similar struggles. You can contact her with any questions. The intro post for /r/messyhomes is here.
Here's some fuel to the fire: think aobut how many fucking years and how many fucking dollars are going to go into his therapy, that could have gone to lovely vacations, prettier clothes for you, nicer furniture, college funds for your kids, ... but they can't. Because she was a shit mother. And he needs to undo years of abuse. Multiply out all those co-pays, and think of what returns could be gotten if that was invested and the interest compounded over all the years of your marriage into your nest egg for retirement. Yeah.
Now also get over the idea that "fair" is the same as "equal". If I make less than 40K per year and my ex makes over 250K per year, is it FAIR if we split child-rearing expenses 50-50? Of course not - fair is an equitable breakdown of the bills according to ability.
Well, it's the same with ALL of yoru resources when it comes to this woman. If, thanks to her abuse, he's spending hours of his life going to therapy plus more hours processing the abuse and recovering from it, if you have to be extra patient, and understanding and a helpmate to him in dealing with his abuse, this creates an emotional debt in yrou marriage bank account. One that she fucking caused. Ditto for actual money, ditto for the time sink of all of this... so already, this bitch is TAKING from you - in real, quantifiable tangible ways. Your parents, on the other hand, are NOT. They are nice, they didn't abuse you, they create value and fill up your reserves as you support and caregive to him.
And sweetie, if she ever asks for his fucking clothes again, there aren't any to give away to her. You're about to be his wife, and the family home is YOUR HOME. Grown ass women do not come in and clean out each other closets.... learn to weed shit out on a regular basis and get rid of things by consignment, yard sales, or thrift shops. If she offers to "help" tell her "The way I learn is by hands-on doing it myself, and that's how I prefer to work."
Also, since you're just setting up housekeeping and she's able to play the "old pro" card.... go get yourself the ultimate guide to running a household: Home Comforts. That way you learn how to do everything, exactly right, from the get-go and never need her advice.
The biggest thing you need to do for yourself right now is begin to lose the weight. Learn how to eat healthily and begin to workout. Fat head and Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead (which streams on Netflix) were excellent starting places learning about food for me. Then hopping on the internet to do my own research.
As for working out, Bodybuilding.com has a plethora of information. When you get on there, DO NOT LOOK AT THE WOMEN AND GET DEPRESSED. That won't get you anywhere and you will change nothing. Look at those women as pure potential in yourself. Start changing the way you think about things like this right now. Changing the way you think is going to be the biggest and best thing for your self and it's going to apply across the board.
Grow out your hair.
Find a girly style that you are comfortable with. Personally, I love Modcloth.
Learn to cook. Get it out of your head right now that it is at all difficult. It's not. The reason people find it difficult is because they think it's difficult. Here's and incredibly easy recipe that takes minutes. What do you want to learn to cook?
House cleaning. This is an excellent book on the matter.
Hobbies. Look for something that you like to do. Knitting, sewing, crocheting are all great. But do they interest you? If they don't, don't force yourself to do them because you think you should. It won't stick and a man will think you strange. What interests you? Don't search for traditionally feminine pursuits if there is nothing there that piques you. Find what you love and try to do it in a feminine way.
Stand up straight. Really. Small but huge.
Smile. Often. At everyone. Even heavy, people will notice a happy and pleasant woman. Your attitude means everything.
Be friendly.
Don't sleep around.
Start with these. As you begin with the big things, you'll begin to delve deeper into the nuances. But you have to work with the big before you can work further. DON"T BEAT YOURSELF UP. You. Will. Fail. It's just part of the process. Even the women doing this for years, we still fail. It's not the set back that makes it awful. Awful would be giving up because you made a mistake.
Read. Read. Read. Here and the sites on the side bar. Once you've done that, come back here and ask questions. We'd love to help.
The Fanny Farmer Cookbook is an excellent source not just for recipes, but for instruction on basic techniques that recipes will assume you know--like what it means to fold in egg whites, for example.
Home Comforts goes in depth on hows, whys, and different schools of thought about housekeeping. It's a bit on the intellectual side, which will appeal to some people more than others.
If you need help in creating housekeeping routines, staying on task, or digging yourself out of a mess, the Flylady website or her books might work for you, but not everyone responds to her writing style which in on the bossy, "keeping it real, y'all" side.
I grew up in a household where the chores were always done by somebody else. When I started living on my own, I had plenty of motivation, but lacked knowledge. Home Comforts, by Cheryl Mendelson fixed that; the first few chapters talk inspiringly about why and how to clean and tidy. If your housemate / partner isn't evil, merely chaotic, and is open to new input and is capable of self-re-programming, then that book just might do the trick.
I've heard great things about the book, Home Comforts: The Art and Science of Keeping House.
Some activities that make me feel better when I'm feeling "off" are: shower, wash your face, floss/brush your teeth, do a face mask, write in a journal, call a loved one, go for a walk, take a fitness class, have a drink, tidy your living space, read a peaceful book ("Home Comforts" is a personal fav), go on a little adventure (public gardens/greenhouses are great), take yourself on a date(woo the shit out of yourself), put on fancy headphones and listen to a melancholy/blue playlist, take a depression nap, rub one out, give yourself something fun to look forward to (sign up for a class or something), practice a new skill, make something for a loved one, DANCE
Home Comforts: The Art and Science of Keeping house and Martha Stewart's Homekeeping Housebook are my favorites. The Martha Stewart one is more broad than the other which makes it a better reference, however, Home Comforts has a very extensive section on fabrics and laundry that is so helpful and much better than Martha's.
Most silks are washable too. The hand of the fabric may change and dome dyes might bleed so testing a sample cut is important. Silk is especially delicate when wet so machine washing it is difficult.
That said, dry cleaning is harsher than hand washing.
For anyone interested in learning more about the science of fibers and fiber care I strongly recommend the cloth section of Home Comforts: The Art and Science of Keeping House by Cheryl Mendelson.
The absolute best, and most thorough, guide to the "domestic arts" that I've ever seen is a book called Home Comforts by Cheryl Mendelson. It came out in the 90s, but it's still relevant: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0743272862/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1450785722&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=home+comforts&dpPl=1&dpID=51B1YJR9Y8L&ref=plSrch
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0743272862?pc_redir=1406839541&robot_redir=1
Has tons of good schedules and techniques
Has a good follow up book on laundry :)
There is a book called Home Comforts that is pretty much the bible of home care. I highly recommend it as a really solid starting point; I read through it when I was young and on my own for the first time and really found it invaluable.
http://www.amazon.com/Home-Comforts-Science-Keeping-House/dp/0743272862/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1412613924&sr=1-4&keywords=comforts+of+home
This book is like a text book for keeping a home. It covers everything from folding fitted sheets to managing accident liability.
She also has a web site, flylady.net
How you organize the house can help with the chores. Organizing efficiently means less work and easier chores. For instance, daily use stuff should be stored where you can reach it easily, stuff used rarely can be stored on a top shelf, in another room or the attic or basement.
Also you can't clean clutter. Declutter and you will be happier.
Speed Cleaning https://www.amazon.com/dp/0440503744/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_Qa9rDbFRSX42F
Home Comforts: The Art and Science of Keeping House https://www.amazon.com/dp/0743272862/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_Jb9rDbN7BXFQZ
https://www.realsimple.com/home-organizing/cleaning/cleaning-calendar
Check out this book:
Home Comforts: The Art and Science of Keeping House
https://www.amazon.com/Home-Comforts-Science-Keeping-House/dp/0743272862
It has the answer to how to properly clean everything--dishes, bedsheets, litterbox, shower--with instructions for how to make homemade cleaning solutions, how often you should clean items/spaces, et al. It's made a huge difference in my life and saved me money on store bought cleaning aids.
There's a glossary in the back (obv) so you can easily search for what it is you want to clean.