Reddit reviews How Al-Anon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics

There's a great pamphlet you can pick up at a meeting: a merry-go-round named denial

http://ecomm.al-anon.org/ItemDetail?iProductCode=P3&CATEGORY=PAMPHLETS


Then this may be a good book for her:
Dilemma of the alcoholic marriage
http://www.amazon.com/Dilemma-Alcoholic-Marriage-Al-Anon-Family/dp/0910034184


Maybe also pick up the overview book:
How Al-anon works


http://www.amazon.com/Al-Anon-Works-Families-Friends-Alcoholics/dp/0910034265

Tangentially related question here, is there anyone in your immediate family who is/was an alcoholic or maybe the adult child of an alcoholic? I only ask because you said, "I always seem to get attached to that sort of person, I think it's a personality flaw.." in your comment. I've met people in Alanon who had never met the alcoholic who's behavior had profoundly affected their family and their life. Its a really strange disease.

If you're interested, maybe read How Alanon Works and see if anything in the first chapter seems to hit close to home, so to speak.

If you want to recover from alcoholism, you can begin understanding what's involved by getting with the spiritual program. Meetings and boards won't keep you sober. Start by reading the first 164 pages of The AA Big Book.
To understand Al-Anon...it's the same process. Read this. Meetings won't help you RECOVER. Only the actual program will. Like all solutions, they require "learning" and "knowledge".

Smart Recovery F&F meetings, or even Nar-Anon meetings, might be good alternatives.

But why are you so sure that regular Al-Anon wouldn't help? Have you ever tried even one single Al-Anon meeting, or browsed through the How Al-Anon Works book?