Reddit reviews How to Be a Stoic: Using Ancient Philosophy to Live a Modern Life

Du har god økonomi og bør kontakte en psykolog som kan hjelpe deg med å klarne tankene. Dette er stort sett dyktige fagfolk som har mye erfaring med mennesker i din situasjon. Noen ganger treffer man ikke riktig psykolog, men da er det bare å prøve andre.

I mellomtiden anbefaler jeg deg å lese deg opp på stoisisme, en fantastisk filosofisk retning som blant annet lærer deg å skille mellom det du kan kontrollere (din egen holdning til ting) og det du ikke kan kontrollere (andres meninger, eksterne hendelser, etc.). How To Be A Stoic er en god start.

Lykke til!

I recently read and can recommend:
How to be a Stoic
by Massimo Pigluicci
https://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Stoic-Ancient-Philosophy/dp/0465097952
It's a great introduction, easy to understand and there is a part with practical exercises.

The sidebar has an overview of writings of Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius or Seneca or modern books on Stoicism from Donald Robertson or William B. Irvine.

For introductory reading, I'd also like to add Massimo Pigliucci's "How to be a Stoic".

For a deeper understanding of Marcus Aurelius' Meditations and Stoic principles in general, Pierre Hadot's "The Inner Citadel" is a must read.

Massimo Pigliucci is a big part of the resurgence of Stoicism, along with Donald Robertson.

Massimo wrote a book entitled How to Be a Stoic available here:

https://smile.amazon.com/How-Be-Stoic-Ancient-Philosophy/dp/0465097952/ref=asap_bc?ie=UTF8&sa-no-redirect=1

Donald wrote a book called Stoicism and the Art of Happiness available here: https://smile.amazon.com/Stoicism-Art-Happiness-Teach-Yourself/dp/1444187104/ref=pd_sim_14_2?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=3SXSFTKVEAPPFGRZA2GN

I myself have spent a lot of time in Stoicism and have enjoyed it tremendously. I'm truthfully moving a bit away from it more towards Epicureanism and Buddhism, but it has served me well in every way.

If you'd like more resources let me know. Feel free to message me any time.

My friend,

Try not to be too hard on yourself. Most of us are only good while things go our way, and start to fall apart to different degrees when things don't go our way. You also cannot change what has happened in the past. The Stoics would say you need focus on what you can control now, in the present, to do what is truly best for you.

To put things in perspective, I have also had my own personal fight with cancer, albeit a different one. I was diagnosed with testicular cancer last November, at age 27. Thankfully during that time, I was able to draw upon a lot of what I learned from the Stoics to help me during my own surgery and follow up treatments, it was still a difficult time though.

I can tell you that during my ordeal, reading through my copy of Meditations and Seneca's Letters helped a great deal. If you are looking for a Modern intro to Stoicism before going into the classic texts (which are very readable and inspirational, but don't give you the full theory) I would suggest How to be a Stoic as a good introduction to the topic.

One of the cornerstones of Stoic theory is the Dichotomy of Control. This idea basically asks you, ultimately, what in your life do you control? Do you control how much money you have? Not really, the depends a lot on what other people are willing to pay you, what skills you have, what country you live in,etc...Do you control if you have a ton of friends, and if people like you a lot? Again, not really. You could be the nicest person in the world, but somebody could still not like you for some reason, since that judgement is up to them, not you. What about your body? Certainly your body is under your control? Well, as you and I have become somewhat more aware, no, your body really isn't under your control. You can get into an accident, get sick due to no fault of your own, etc...What about our thoughts? Not quite, lots of times, seemingly random thoughts come to us, general ideas and impressions. So what do we control then? Our reasoned choice. We have the ability to make reasoned choices. When a thought comes into my head, I can reason through it and decided whether to act on it or not. That is where our power lies. In focusing on making the best possible choices with what we have, on making wise choices.

I found that focusing on that was very liberating. I couldn't control that I had cancer, that was a fact. But I could control what I did with that fact. How I worked with it and reacted to it. And honestly, some times I handled it well, and other times I handled it poorly. We are all imperfect, but we can improve.

If you have questions about anything or just want to talk, feel free to PM me, I'll be around.

I'll leave you with a passage from Meditations that I read through and kept in mind during the day of my own cancer surgery:

> So henceforth, in the face of every difficulty that leads you to feel distress, remember to apply this principle: this is no misfortune, but to bear it with a noble spirit is good fortune. - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations 4.49

If you get the chance, have a look at Massimo Pigluicci's new book, How to Be a Stoic.

It has a great section on the basis of morals and why virtue has an absolute definition. It would be worth a read for you.

>the guy that wants to sing kumbaya with the trees and whales

Good one.

>So yeah, how can I not let their comments get to me?

Try with this and this.

How to be a stoic by Massimo Picliucci.
https://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Stoic-Ancient-Philosophy/dp/0465097952

Great read and very complementary to the TMI and Buddhism in general.