Reddit reviews I Love You But I Don't Trust You: The Complete Guide to Restoring Trust in Your Relationship

I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. I don’t think you’ve healed from it. I think you’ve swallowed what you can in order to endure it.

Read I Love You But I Don’t Trust You by Mira Kirschenbaum and see if that gives you some perspective on how you might be able to confront, address, and forgive the emotional pain she has caused you.

I’m currently going through a near marriage-ending traumatic mess because I snooped in my husband’s computer.

Married nearly 17 years, together for 22. I never ever thought he could even consider breaking us up. It was so shocking to me.

I’m now going to therapy and working to get him to go with me to marriage counseling. Reading [this book](I Love You But I Don't Trust You: The Complete Guide to Restoring Trust in Your Relationship https://www.amazon.com/dp/0425245314/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_1CY6CbQ2J08XC) helped me SO much.

The first thing I’d tell you is don’t do it.

The second thing is - you’re going to have to talk to him about this and find a way that you don’t need to snoop and he has his privacy.

In my case we have two weird and diametrically opposed needs/fears. He needs privacy to an extreme. I get how he got this way but to me “privacy” feels like secrets. I need security, and secrets threaten that. I get how I got this way, but to him the transparency I need for “security” is an invasion of his privacy. We are still working on how to make those work together. Not sure what the outcome will be but I won’t let this be over. We love each other too much for that.

Snooping is not going to help you feel better. Working together to understand each other’s needs and finding a way to feel like snooping is unnecessary is the path to happiness for both of you.

I wish you luck. It ain’t easy.