Reddit reviews Jonathan Livingston Seagull

I'm not an ex-Muslim. However, as an ex-Christian, I recognize the need for people to have some spiritual structure to their lives, for purpose, morality, life, love, etc. I would recommend philosophy, from personal experience. Kant, Mill, Aristotle, and any Stoic (particularly Marcus Aurelius) make excellent starting points to providing this structure.

Some excellent fiction books about this sort of thing include Jonathon Livingston Seagull, Way of the Peaceful Warrior, and poetry in general. Humanism (a longer, more philosophical word for "love" really), is a marvelous starting place. I love literature in general, and one can find profound truth about human nature, morality, and our place in the universe in fiction (even religious fiction, provided we're suspending disbelief and not sacrificing virgins to Apollo, etc).

There can be psychological value in ritual, which perhaps the 5-a-day prayer cycle provided for you before. Things like daily runs, meditation sessions, family meal-time, and closing each day by reading a book for 15-20 minutes can provide a similar sort of structure, if that's what you're after (in my opinion, a more meaningful and powerful one too). I think too much reliance on external events to feel secure and emotionally stable might be a sign that counseling would be a better route to personal health than asking reddit, but it sounds like there's more to it than just the prayer sessions.

Always remember that monotheism, no matter which one it is, breaks your leg and then offers you a crutch. What it sounds like you're feeling is your subconscious sense of instability without the base you've been convinced that you need. The trick is, you're leg isn't broken... you're a complete person with value - a self-sustaining, beautiful, living, breathing, thinking, feeling human being. You don't need the crutch. This can be hard to internalize at first, but when you think about what a prayer actually does, it becomes more difficult to miss. At least it did for me.

You might enjoy Jonathan Livinston Seagull

The Subtle Body: An Encyclopedia of Your Energetic Anatomy

Autobiography of a Yogi

The Field,
The Intention Experiment, The Bond

Jonathan Livingston Seagull, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah