Reddit Reddit reviews Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence

We found 7 Reddit comments about Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

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Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
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7 Reddit comments about Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence:

u/JoanDefers · 6 pointsr/DeadBedrooms

> 12 years on and off

> Like having sex with me when she's not sure if I'll be there tomorrow actually seems to get her wet.

> It also made her wonder when I was going to pounce on her.

Sounds like she's bored. Not necessarily with you as a person, but with your sex life. And it's possible she thinks that telling you would hurt your feelings or make her sound slutty.

You might look up the book "Mating in Captivity."

u/PrellFeris · 4 pointsr/MensLib

Another book I'd recommend is Mating in Captivity, by Esther Perel!

I just started reading it and holy cow is this book an absolute treasure trove of information on romantic and sexual intimacy and how they work and relate to each other. The author discusses not only their own ideas, but that of other authors as well. The book is sprinkled with examples of various relationships and how they formed, struggled with and overcame a lack of sexual or romantic intimacy (a lot of which is caused by confusing and painful past experiences.)

The book discusses both men and woman, gay and straight couples, young and old, etc. etc.

I do wish they'd actually discuss BDSM in more explicit and concrete terms, they kind of go over the titillation of it without stating why playing with power is okay (negotiation and informed consent, yo!)

I haven't finished it yet but so far I'm floored with how reasonable and succinctly the author describes different concepts and romantic phenomena, etc. I can't recommend it enough.

u/lesexysexkitten · 3 pointsr/sex

Read Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel.

She discusses many marriages that lose lust. In one particular chapter (‘sex is dirty, save it for someone you love’) she addresses what sounds like part of your problem head on:

(In our society...)

Taboo-ridden sexuality and excess-driven sexuality converge in a troubling way. Both lead us to want to dissociate psychically from the physical act of sex. A society that sees sex as soiled does not make sex go away. Instead, this kind of anxious atmosphere breeds guilt and shame in its more extreme version, or a generalized discomfort in its more ubiquitous expression. Sex is divorced from emotional and social continuity. What is missing is a sexuality that is integrated, in which pleasure flourishes in a context of relatedness. I’m not talking only about deep love; I’m also talking about basic care and appreciation for another person.

She also discusses ways to overcome many difficulties when relationships become sexless and you aren’t happy with it. I can’t recommend it enough. Just don’t call up Jody!

(Ex military wife here, but I didn’t cheat. He beat me... shrug)

u/belle_bs · 3 pointsr/nonmonogamy

You may find this book helpful - a way to continue the discussion - Esther Perel - Mating in Captivity

u/CitesteBaInPLM · 3 pointsr/Romania
u/imalittlebitretarded · 3 pointsr/AskMen

People are saying the author is Esther Perel so I think the book is "Mating in Captivity" because it's the only one I found that matches.

Here's a link Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence

u/english_daffodil · 1 pointr/AskMen

There's a book about this very thing:

TL;DR: You seek novelty (ie chemical reward in your brain) in other areas of life, recognizing that long-term love provides other benefits.