Reddit Reddit reviews Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex

We found 23 Reddit comments about Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

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Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex
Men are from Mars Women are from Venus The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex
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23 Reddit comments about Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex:

u/MaxMahem · 7 pointsr/FeMRADebates

So this is basically the Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus model of understanding human communication. It has been quite some time since I've read that book, but I don't recall it basing its findings very empirically. And the book is not without its detractors. Most of whom ground their insights with a lot more evidence.

Myself, I found the book somewhat insightful, but as with much pop-psychology, I wouldn't read overmuch into it fundamentally. While I can recognize the strategies for communication and dealing with stress he talks about in the book in myself and others, I can also see just as many counter examples in life (including prominently my parents and brother).

So it's a big and much disputed point as to the reality of the assertions. Which makes the why kind of a mute question.

But to answer it anyways, I'd say if it is reality, its most likely just a product of modern western culture. In other cultures men and women may have different strategies for communicating/deal with stress, and it may have been different in the not to distant past.

u/bossoline · 6 pointsr/relationship_advice

I would step back from your relationship and look at the components besides love. Sometimes I think we watch too many romantic comedies so we believe that "love will conquer all". It doesn't. It's 100% necessary, but you also need trust, honesty, respect, and understanding/forgiveness. Think of it like a table. If you have all 4 legs, the table can sustain significant burden. If you only have 3 it can stand up on its own, but it's unstable and will collapse under any sort of weight. If you have fewer than 2, then it's not a functioning table at all.

Marriage is hard. Really fucking hard. On top of that, your marriage will periodically have to stand up to hardship (family deaths, job loss, children, depression/illness, etc.) over time. But, if you have all 4 of the above, you can not only survive those things, but thrive in them.

Also, if you haven't read the book "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus", I recommend that you both do so and discuss your impressions from it. Personally, I think that the author over-generalizes a little, but it's a great book to help you find insight into why you feel/act the way you do and why he feels/acts the way he does. It was MASSIVELY applicable to my marriage and immediately helped me communicate with more compassion and understanding because I began to understand what my wife was hearing when I said certain things.

u/Horny_GoatWeed · 3 pointsr/AskMenOver30

I think you're overthinking things. The genders are not that different. Maybe read Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, but realize a lot of people are going to fall out of the stereotypes that are presented there.

u/91995 · 3 pointsr/depression

It took a few days, but I'm back.

Thanks for the detail. The style of the wording tells me a lot about where you are, so no apologies needed.

Earlier, even without this information, I sensed a fundamental goodness in your heartfelt desire for something better. With this note, you've given expression to that in the things that you want:

  • the dignity of being a breadwinner,
  • the self-respect of having a space of your own, and
  • the joy of love.

    So, here are my thoughts. But first, a little background …

    At 24, like you, I found that some people seemed to have the capacity, confidence, and social skills to find meaningful work, to build a life, and to attract love, but I didn’t find that in myself. Even when an opportunity seemed to be going well for a while, a simple misreading of the reality of a situation (or a person’s words or gestures) could instantly sabotage me, depriving me of a fighting chance (it seemed) to get any traction at all on life.

    After some time, I began to sense that my "eternal optimism" was a bit misguided, that “maybe I’ll get it right next time” was more like the thinking of a gambler resolved to recoup his losses on the next throw of the dice, rather than part of an informed, systematic process for learning and consistently getting better and better at life.

    It took me decades to realize that everyone struggles, that I was lost in a distorted reality, seeing only the deepening chasm between what seemed like most peoples' "on track” lives and my own negative vision of myself. It was as if I could only see their “highlights” and my own “bloopers” but regarded both as equivalent realities.

    I finally discovered that “their” best was usually the result of good role models and good early training, and that such life skills could also be learned (by me!) later in life. In fact, those who figure it out later, rather than just acting on well-trained instincts, very quickly rise to meet a bar that had looked unattainable, and to move forward beyond with the advantage of understanding.

    I am writing this note to you, at this moment, because I happened to see your posting on r/all. It occurred to me that I could help another young man, like my past self, to zoom past the two lost decades it took me to get it right. I’m aware of how long this comment is becoming, but I would urge you to hang in there and not to scan. You’re half-way through!

    To get “there”, to a “life fully realized”, I would advise you to do three things, preceded by a “step 0" that will remove obstacles to doing those things:

    Step 0: Remove whatever obstacles to success that you can.
    See a physician for a checkup, just to make sure there’s no underlying physical causes of this mental slump. Mention that your life situation has caused you to slip into depression, that you have a plan for moving forward with your life, but it will require the motivation and the will of a healthy mind, and that you need a referral to a counselor to get you past the depression and stay on track, and that you’d also like some medication for depression while you traverse this process.

    (The medication that will work for you will be different than for others, and counselors vary in competence and and temperament. Just work through it, don’t judge yourself or the process, don't stay with what doesn't work, and don't give up. It probably won't be that hard. It will work. And most people feel that, once the depressed mind is on medication, it is the “real” them. If you can’t afford a counselor, the medication will help you get through to a better place where you can.)

    Step 0.5: Be discreet.
    Other than your physician and therapist, don’t tell anyone about such plans. That probably sounds strange, but I have discovered — and have also read that it is one of the great secrets of really accomplished and fulfilled men and women — that sharing with others your plans to make life-transforming changes has two downsides:
    (a) The input of others can be, at worst, a discouragement; and at best, a distraction from the laser-focus you’ll need to make it happen, and
    (b) sharing something that will impress others gives you a small moment of satisfaction that cools the burning passion that your goal-setting self will need in order to succeed. To keep the fire burning, keep it to yourself.

    The upshot of all this is that a little medical/ psychological help will get you past the things you can’t control and bring you into the realm of things you can choose to do to become very accomplished in all of those things that are important to you …

    Step 1: Get centered.
    Your regrets (of the past) and your worries (about the future) are experienced physically as tension and mentally as a brain unable to function with facility in a world where it doesn’t feel safe and fears what could happen if it lets down its guard.

    Meanwhile, your body is here in the present, where your mind functions best. To bring mind and body together all in the same place (the definition of “centering”) as the single powerful machine they are meant to be, try the one-minute centering exercise. This is a script that you can record and then play back while you do a one-minute meditation exercise with your eyes closed.

    You can do this exercise daily, if you wish. It will teach you new habits of responding to negative thoughts by moving to center. You’ll become much more comfortable in your own skin.

    Longer-term, it would be a great idea to make staying “centered” a bigger part of your life. Yoga or one of the martial arts are perfect for this. (I’m partial to Aikido.)

    Step 2: Turn outside of yourself.
    Human beings are wired to experience joy when serving others and to wither when they focus only on themselves. Consider scheduling a spot on a Saturday service project, like building something for Habitat for Humanity.

    It doesn't matter what the organization or project is; as long as you are focused outside of yourself on serving others, you cannot but experience the joy of that human connection.

    Make it a regular practice to join up with such special projects. And let it grown on you so that it becomes your habit to serve others under all conditions. The joy that you experience will come from focusing outside of yourself.

    It will also create in you a center of attraction such that others will want to be around you. This will happen once you develop habits of centering and of turning outward.

    Step 3: Learn the learnable social skills.
    You can learn specific skills that will improve your interactions with others and prevent you from making social blunders that undermine relationships. You can learn these from a book.

    You’ll experience the transformation you want in your relationships if you can
    (a) be patient enough to read a short chapter each week and then practice the skill during the week that follows, and
    (b) be persistent enough to read a new chapter (and to acquire a new skill) each week.

    (This may not seem possible right now. So wait to get the book until you’ve seen the doctor and gotten some medical help to get past the depression. From that new vantage, you’ll be able to summon up the motivation and patience and persistence you’ll need.)

    The book you want to start with (don’t let the cheesy title bother you, it’s gold inside): How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

    A second book teachers about relationships: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray.

    So there you have it. If you have questions or encounter complications along the way, feel free to PM me.

    It's a lot to take in all at once, but really not that much considering it will will provide you with a path to the life situation you want and will give you access to the life choices you want.

    Here’s wishing a noble man the best …
u/ragbra · 2 pointsr/AskReddit

Some self-help or relationship best-sellers. Not because you are in a crisis and need it, but because it is the polar-opposite of what we science geeks normally read, and they never teach you that in school.

It gave me tons of new insight in the non-science areas of life, stuff I would never had thought of by myself, surprised as to why it's not included in the curriculum. Useful and highly recommendable! http://amzn.com/0060574216

(edit: an easy read, the book is about understanding the opposite sex, but since it applies to both sexes it will also teach you stuff about yourself)

u/FlyoverSD · 2 pointsr/sugarlifestyleforum

> Alien sugar baby ... I'm part Martian/Human.

Troll, everyone knows women are from Venus, not Mars.

u/uberyeti · 2 pointsr/facepalm

There's a book you should consider reading: http://www.amazon.com/Men-Mars-Women-Venus-Understanding/dp/0060574216

It sure sorted out me and my girlfriend's relationship, and we're still very happily together after 2.5 years.

u/talky_sex · 1 pointr/sexover30

>how was your day?

Is there a way you could get a connection by talking about something else? Like maybe planning the upcoming weekend, or joint hobbies/projects, or books/movies/YouTube videos/dupes on /r/funny, or the weather, or ants, ants with lasers, etc.? What kind of job does he have?
Astronaut? Or a normal job? 'Cause I don't want to talk about my day at work. It is boring and stupid and I only do it for the money. It is bad enough that I had to live it, and I have no desire to rehash it. Especially cause I don't want to be complaining about it day after day after day after day. Do you like to read books (or audio books)? I'd recommend the 5 Love Languages, and How to Win Friends and Influence People. I'm sure there is something that he could talk about, that would meet your needs for connection. But maybe it is not about his day.

Edit: ...and now reading down thread further, I see you've read the 5 Love Languages book. How about the Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus book? Sorry for your troubles, hope it gets better.

u/kermit3 · 1 pointr/relationships

I'm not one hundred percent clear whether we're allowed to have links in replies. So if you have to delete this, sorry! But I recently read this relationship book from the 90s. You might also be too young to have read it when it came out: Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus? The author actually says that this dynamic happens fairly often. And that the solution is for the woman to be upset more (or at least to express it more when she feels like it). I know it sounds counterintuitive but it seems like you're already playing with that idea yourself. Anyways, he says that many American women have been socialized to try to act like nothing's wrong no matter how they're feeling and that can throw off the natural balance of the relationship. (Don't worry, he has plenty of bad things to say about the ways that men are socialized, as well...) Anyways, his advice really helped us with this same issue. Most public libraries still have copies of the book. But I don't know where you are, so if you want to look at it, here's the link: http://www.amazon.com/Men-Mars-Women-Venus-Understanding/dp/0060574216/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1292129254&sr=1-1.

u/Metheor · 1 pointr/outside

I suggest reading this in-game book:
Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus
It increases my char [CHA] slightly and also unlocks extra dialog trees with opposite gender players.

u/PlanB_pedofile · 1 pointr/TheBluePill

There's men that are completely baffled by women.

http://youtu.be/DHzjgNoRmjg

The book referenced http://www.amazon.com/Men-Mars-Women-Venus-Understanding/dp/0060574216

u/Web_Rand · 1 pointr/NoStupidQuestions
u/TRP_DarkTriad · 1 pointr/TheRedPill

Let me break it down for you. Male thinking has always been logic based and reasoning ability is one ingrained in our brains. Not that women don't have these abilities but, we did it for our survival in old times and now use it to launch rockets, conquer the Wall St, even use it to precisely launch a fucking bird to kill pigs in Angry birds.
We need to use this nonchalance, "Who gives a damn?" attitude towards women while gaming them.
This book details on how brains are wired differently and how we could overcome it for a sustained, happier relationship.
I mean no disrespect but in retrospect with your post these "dumb jock archetype" are slaying pussy because of their otherwise not mentioned low IQ in a way. For others, we need to train ourselves to overcome our reasoning behavior w.r.t women and stick it up only with science and other stuff. I now understand the connection b/w why nerdboys never try to hit up a convo with a hot chick. Great post OP!

u/ivanparas · 1 pointr/AskMen

It sounds cheesy, but Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus is actually a really great book for helping to understand yourself and your partner.

u/pmaudet · 1 pointr/AskReddit

People! You need to read Women are from Venus Men are from Mars, or even better go see the play in a theater. Fun night out laughing with your SO and you learn a lot.

u/rsym88 · 1 pointr/NoFap

I am glad you consider to take it slowly.

I've read from another forum that it took some time to reboot and then to fully recover.

There is even someone who said about it in order to regain 100 percent of physical and mental health, it would takes NoFap for 15 months.

YMMV, but I would take that number as a standard.

By the way, I remember this book. I think it have a huge influence for me, even with my cultural background. Its the book from John Gray, "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus".

I don't know, maybe you've read it, but I think its worth a look.

u/BoatsMcFloats · 1 pointr/MuslimMarriage

Asalam Alakum - Learning how to talk to someone, especially of the opposite gender, takes experience and understanding. TAnd that takes time. The best thing you can do right now is read this book:

https://www.amazon.com/Men-Mars-Women-Venus-Understanding/dp/0060574216

u/Liahoni · 0 pointsr/latterdaysaints

I agree with everything you said, but it seems (based on your comments) that she's taking what she wants from the lesson and maybe not what's being taught.

If better marital communications is your goal and you haven't read it already, read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". I've read it several times again over the years and aside from being wildly entertaining, he's spot on. I made my Sons read it when they hit 16. They swear by it.

Also, here's the link to the Church's "Lesson 5: Responding to Challenges through Positive Communication"

Good Luck, Brother.

u/JALKHRL · -1 pointsr/AskMen

Shit, I understand your confusion. To make it short, you need this [(https://www.amazon.com/Men-Mars-Women-Venus-Understanding/dp/0060574216)]

Women tend to speak with other means in mind. When she said, I'm going to bed, she clearly means "I need you to come with me", but to translate from her language to manenglish you need the knowledge the book can give you. You will find out many other things you were misunderstanding or missing by reading it. Good luck.