Reddit reviews Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation

I'm sorry you are going through this.

By learning a form of meditation, I learned to trust my body and be here now more often instead of dissociated and trapped in thought loops. As you might guess, it takes a while of steady practice until it really pays off in daily life.

Also this book was particularly insightful for me and helped me to make more sense of my inner world. I liked especially the notion that we have a choice where we put our attention. And it described a good excercise that helped me find (or better: create) a place of calmness and safety inside myself.

Good luck!

I know that self-help books are hit or miss, at best, but I’ve been going through my own relationship struggles. While reading about attachment styles & boundary creation here on Reddit, the list below are some of the books (on Amazon) that kept popping up in Reddit discussions. Haven’t read them yet, but I did order them, & they’re supposedly arriving today - I can update w/ my thoughts & feedback, if anyone is interested.

Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0805087001/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_7gE4BbB2R5DZY



Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind - and Keep - Love

https://www.amazon.com/dp/1585429139/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_giE4BbJ3RKFRN




Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0553386395/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_VhE4BbQ84219T


Another name that I’ve seen referenced a bunch here on Reddit is Mark Manson - he has a ”Guide to Strong Boundaries,” which I’ve also included a link to below

https://www.google.com/amp/s/markmanson.net/boundaries/amp

Mark Manson is famous for this book, amongst others

*The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life**

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062457713/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_mrE4BbHBCFCS6


Dunno if this may help, but I do know that learning about one’s own attachment style, love language, etc can at least be a great start to a better relationship with yourself. As for the relationship with one’s partner? Boundaries! Boundaries are crucial.

...man, do I suck at boundaries!

Read the book Mindsight. Don’t commit to anything because you don’t have to. Just take one step and read this book and it will give you little tidbits of information on how the brain works. Maybe if you understand how and why your neurons fire the way they do then you can make a decision to do something different. Until then, just collect information. Read the book. mindsight

Listen. You have to stop trying to repress your thoughts and feelings. Read this book.

Highly suggest audiobooks or if you have chrome on a computer and/or a voice assistant on a smartphone (Siri, Google, etc.) then use the Read Aloud/ Text-To-Speech features for books in the ePub format. Here's some links for these tools:

•Read-Aloud Features: Siri on iOS or Google on Android
•Online Text-To-Speech Program: Natural Reader (Free use for basic voice, sounds a little robotic but it's handy)
• Book Management Software: Calibre (can convert PDFs, Kindle format books to ePub. May not always work due to DRM and content formatting.)

Recommended books:
• Feeling Good by Dr. David Burns, MD
(Amazing book for anyone looking to turn their mental health and lifestyle around with the power of cognition)

• Mindsight by Dr. David Siegel, MD
(Another psych book dealing with various techniques for improving our mind-body-spirit connection from a neurobiological standpoint)

•.The Power Of Now by Eckhart Tolle
(The book has sort of a cult vibe but the overall message is about understanding who you are in the present and not letting your mind stop you from living beyond your physical capabilities)

• The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson
(Very down to earth guidelines about how to adjust perspectives that focus less on others and more on your own needs)

I wish you good luck and remember that everything you need is already with you.

This is the partial subject of the book Mindsight by Dan Siegel Amazon link. The book's overall subject is leveraging neuroplaticity to reconnect parts that have become out of balance: right/left brain, mind/body, past/present. It's been a while since I read it, but I thought it was a good read at the time.

TL;DR: mindfulness meditation

You might want to try meditation/mindfulness. Read the book Mindsight, it will teach you how and why this will help.

Think of your mind as the hub of a wheel. Imagine the spokes moving out in all directions, connecting to our sensations (our five senses & the external world), our internal body (heart, lungs, etc), mental activities (feelings, thoughts, memories), and interconnectedness (with other people and our surroundings). The rim.

At the center (the hub), we are at peace. Everyone has a hub. But often times we get stuck on the outer parts of the wheel (in your case, feelings, thoughts, memories & maybe interconnectedness) and we can't find peace. Meditation can teach you to recognize when you are on focusing on the rim instead of being at the hub. Being your thoughts instead of seeing them for what they are.

I'd also recommend "The Way to Love: The Last Meditations of Anthony de Mello". It's a very short book with solid advice. You've attached your happiness to your STBX. Any time we attach to something for our happiness, we can't be happy because we become anxious of losing it. In your case, you have lost it. I'm in the same boat, so no judgement. We have to learn that we don't need them (or anyone or anything else) to be happy. It takes time, and mindfulness can help with this as well.

Maybe these can help you.

This book has some good techniques that helped me: https://www.amazon.com/Mindsight-New-Science-Personal-Transformation/dp/0553386395

Man, you got ripped apart for this comment. I still appreciate you taking the time to respond to me. None of us know the correct way to address BP, yet. We'd have cured it by now if we did. A lot of medical doctors mean well, but don't have time to deep dive into every study that gets published. Never mind how glaringly bad the replication crisis is in regards to journals selectively publishing papers with only positive drug trail outcomes. Some docs are also bad at even caring enough to have the due diligence to keep informed on what's new and just throw pills at people to see if any stick.

Personally, I'm hopeful that I can avoid the meds. I think they're a wise choice for Bipolar 1 or for anyone who is finding that they can no longer function in society. Me, I'm at least getting by. I shower, I go to my wonderful part-time job, I try to volunteer when I have the energy. I don't want to put that intense strain on my organs (or the waterways) so I'm leaving meds as a last resort.

I'm very interested in neural reprogramming and I think that it's a very untapped field of research. If you are interested, Mindsight by David Seigel is a cool read. I think you alluded to some upcoming postpartum in another comment so it may help you on your journey, too.