Reddit reviews Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss, 20th Anniversary Edition

My mom passed away 15 years ago when I was 13, and my dad has since become married to a woman who calls my sister's kids her grandkids.

Might I recommend Motherless Daughters? Someone (dad or sister maybe) got it for me years ago, although I can't remember what's in it, I found it very helpful to read. And now I want to reorder it and read it again...

I'm going to have a very hard time calling my MIL "grandma" to my baby, but my mom's picture hangs in my house, and she will always be in my life and her grandbaby's life.

Edit: just found another book she wrote: Motherless Mothers

I'm sorry. I lost my mom when I was a teenager, almost 10 years ago. I haven't dealt with the grief yet. The trauma of the illness was so intense that the actual death was secondary. Anyway I spent my 20s drowning it all out with drugs and alcohol. I'm trying to deal with it all now!

The book Motherless Daughters by Hope Edelman is really great for anyone who wants some extra support. She also has a book called Letters from Motherless Daughters, which is daughters of all ages writing about their experiences, and it's so comforting feeling like you're not alone.

I lost my mom at a young age (12). I suggest this book the author lost her mom as well, and wrote it because she felt there were no resources. Reading the book didn't solve any problems for me, but I felt less alone.

Grief is cyclical. Major life events--my first boyfriend, graduating high school, & graduating college have all been bitter sweet. Often, more bitter. There have been really dark times since my mom passed, but also amazing times I couldn't have imagined. Right now I'm dealing with one of those valleys, but I know in life everything is transient, nothing sticks. Something has to give. Through the hard times, eventually something good will happen.

I suppressed my grief for a long time, and it made things worse. I now have rituals I do that have helped. On my mom's birthday I place flowers on her grave. Whenever I'm missing her I'll watch movies we use to watch together. I've written letters to her, and sometimes I even have imaginary conversations. I still have a relationship with her, even though she has passed. I really believe that when someone you love dies, the relationship doesn't end with their life.

It is so hard when you lose your mom. I lost mine at 20. I still miss her everyday. But, I also realize that I have a pretty great life, and I can do this without her (because I have to). When I miss her, I try to imagine what she might say to me. I've also found that talking to my Dad about what she might have said is helpful too.

If none of that floats your boat, try to find other "mom figures" that you can go to for advice. That might be a grandparent, aunt/uncle, older sister/brother, older cousin, co-worker, friend, etc. I have several different people that I go to for mom-like advice when I need it. Some are women, some are not. Some are older than me, some are not. But I know what I can go to each one for (some are good for kid stuff, others are great for job stuff, etc).

You will always miss your mom. No one will ever love you the way your mom loved you. But, life goes on and you can go on and be happy and healthy. Everyone has sorrows in their life. Some people have moms that died. Others have moms that left for one reason or another. Others have moms that just aren't great moms (see many posts in this sub). You can do it.

P.S. It might help you to read the book Motherless Daughters. I found it helpful to hear stories of other women who had lost their moms. You are not alone. You are loved. You can do this!