Reddit Reddit reviews Neurosis and Human Growth: The Struggle Towards Self-Realization

We found 9 Reddit comments about Neurosis and Human Growth: The Struggle Towards Self-Realization. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

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Neurosis and Human Growth: The Struggle Towards Self-Realization
W W Norton Company
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9 Reddit comments about Neurosis and Human Growth: The Struggle Towards Self-Realization:

u/EverVigilant · 10 pointsr/science

Different strokes for different folks. You might need a more aggressive approach to dealing with your depression and anxiety. A good therapist and a good self-analysis book can do wonders.

u/NikoMyshkin · 6 pointsr/KotakuInAction

quite long - 400 pages

Fair warning: I'm only ~50 pages in but I'll be honest: it is quite a dense read but I think that is the subject and not the author's style at play.

I actually like the writing style because she is from before the modern age of slang and relaxed writing. there is a sincere grace to her writing style, and that makes for a pleasurable reading experience (IMO).

She structures her sentences to include only one idea and avoids phrases in apposition, split infinitives and other distractions and nuisances. So she is an untiring author. Also she is not in love with her own words, so things are nice and direct and succinct.

She has a habit of associating things that i would have thought to be unrelated, but upon further consideration may well be related. for example, she says that the characteristics of self-idealisation (as opposed to the healthy self-realisation) include:

  • the most decisive characteristic is an utter disregard for himself, for his self interests

  • the indiscriminateness of compulsive drives (distractions) - since the aim is not what is being undertaken, but something toxic

  • the quality of insatiability - no amount of distraction can ever satisfy, because it is not what the victim really wants or needs

  • the reaction to its frustration - since the need is so strong, when these distractions fail, the response is very uncomfortable for the victim, and appears to others as excessive.

    (I have paraphrased her - she calls the desire to self-idealise the quest for glory - the above characteristics are aspects of this toxic quest).



    I just dip in and out - a few pages at a time and then I think about them. Almost every page - right from the first - seems to offer some genuinely worthy insight.

    I'd have loved to meet her. She comes across like a very sincere, likeable and interesting person.
u/gerwig · 4 pointsr/asktrp
u/hyperrreal · 3 pointsr/PurplePillDebate

>I agree with you here. So does this mean you disagree with TRP's stance on this topic?

I've never been one for towing the party line.

> Interesting. I still don't really get it honestly. women are emotionally trained to place responsibility for their feelings onto their partners? What does this mean, and what leads you to believe that?

There are 2 parts to this. One is well explained by Women's Infidelity by Michelle Langley, and is also it's a common criticism feminism makes of popular culture. Society conditions women that marriage or a relationship with a man will make them happy. That they need to find the right guy who will complete them (the implication that without a man they are incomplete). This is bullshit of course, no one can make anyone else happy. You have to learn to be happy yourself.

The second part is that while society conditions men to be stoic (avoid and suppress their feelings) girls are taught to over identify with them. Women who aren't emotionally whole often surrender to their feelings, rather than simply accept them, while understanding the distinction between their being and what they feeling in any given moment.

TRP accurately observes that women end marriages (and probably relationships) more than men, but concludes falsely that this is because women cannot love the way men can. In reality, it's the combination of what I described above. Women enter into relationships thinking that will magically make them happy and they will feel whole and complete and loved. When this doesn't happen because it was never realistic to begin with, they begin to feel sad, anxious, and often angry. While a man would probably bury these emotions until he explodes (or becomes depressed) women both act on them and blame their partners due to how they have been emotionally conditioned.

>There is an huge amount of psychological evidence to support this assertion, and anyone who has spent any time working on emotional healing and therapy will quickly see that I am correct.

Here are some links, but these are books not easily digestible articles. The important thing to understand is that core emotional problems are the same amongst all people. It's the external expression of that pain that is often gendered. Reading about the difference between NPD and BPD will shed some let on this.

Women's Infidelity

Facing Co-Dependence

The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion

Healing the Shame that Binds You

Healing Your Aloneness

Neurosis and Human Growth: The Struggle Towards Self-Realization

>I don't really see what this has to do with gender. Both partners need to feel that expression of love. Dread Game actually seems to be based around purposely withdrawing love and affection, which seems irreconcilable with the idea of unconditional love.

What tends to be gendered is the preferred expression of love (love language). Different people need and express love differently, and sometimes couples don't have compatible styles of showing affection. In cases where one partner will not work on the issue, that partner is withdrawing their love. I agree that dread game is not compatible with unconditional love, and I don' think I ever said it was compatible.

u/12aptor · 3 pointsr/DecidingToBeBetter

I believe that educating yourself about shame is the best thing you can do for yourself and ultimately others. Read (or listen to) "Daring Greatly" and "Neurosis And Human Growth". These books have lead to discovery which has lead to understanding which has lead to peace, for me. 100% chance they will help you too. :)

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https://www.amazon.com/Daring-Greatly-Courage-Vulnerable-Transforms/dp/1592408419/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=daring+greatly&qid=1567279095&s=gateway&sr=8-3

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https://www.amazon.com/Neurosis-Human-Growth-Struggle-Self-Realization/dp/0393307751/ref=sr_1_1?crid=EQAV5UKFJ9YP&keywords=neurosis+and+human+growth+karen+horney&qid=1567279160&s=gateway&sprefix=neurosis+%2Caps%2C197&sr=8-1

u/catemination · 2 pointsr/psychoanalysis

Sorry to hear that you are suffering and can't get proper help now. I also suffer from 'the tyranny of the should' since childhood, to a point, just like you described: "zero ability to get any pleasure from anything I should do". Getting into therapy helps, 3 time a week for me for the last 2.5 years.

But if you don't have access the therapy or analysis, here is my two-cents :

I have find reading these two book from Karen Horney help me to gain some perspective :

Neurosis and Human Growth: The Struggle Towards Self-Realization ( this one also got an audio book version, if you like being read to.)

https://www.amazon.com/Neurosis-Human-Growth-Struggle-Self-Realization/dp/0393307751

Her other book Self-Analysis could also be helpful, if you want to attempt to do some work on one's own https://openlibrary.org/books/OL1095974M/Self-analysis

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u/lakai42 · 1 pointr/Schizoid

You are appealing to authority and ignoring my arguments. If you need a source with credentials to take me seriously, then read Disorders of the Self: New Therapeutic Horizons: The Masterson Approach or Schizoid Phenomena, Object-Relations and the Self by Harry Guntrip or Neurosis and Human Growth by Karen Horney.

These are all experienced and well credentialed psychologists who describe SPD as a process driven by shame.

The head psychiatrist could be wrong. He wouldn't be the first nor the last psychiatrist to make a mistake.



u/uw_NB · -2 pointsr/starcraft

He isnt the only one who has that mind however. I played esport games for 10 years now and I have seen many like him. They have high, often unrealistic, expectations on things and often assume and take these conditions as a given as they are trying to do their best. One thing goes wrong, even the tiniest of detail, they would treat it as unfair and that they are entitled to get the conditions they required to perform their best to even just start trying. Another good example would be EG DotA2 player Mason who could never play public games because he has unrealistic expectation for pub players.

In a psychological field, I think this condition was described quite accurately as Neurosis(referring to these players as Neurotic) and a detail study could be found in Karen Horney study on the matter. Her book Neurosis and Human Growth: The Struggle Towards Self-Realization is rated very highly among the people who selfdiagnosed themselves with this condition and many reviews stated that it helped them found themselves.

If you are reading this Naniwa, definitely consider checking the book out. At least try reading the first chapter or so. Best wishes.