Reddit Reddit reviews No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame

We found 16 Reddit comments about No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

Health, Fitness & Dieting
Books
Psychology & Counseling
Popular Child Psychology
No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame
Check price on Amazon

16 Reddit comments about No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame:

u/[deleted] · 14 pointsr/Parenting

“Consequences” don’t really work for toddlers. The best kind of consequences they can experience are natural ones. Meaning if they spill water on the ground, they have to help clean it up. Have you read this book: No Bad Kids by Janet Lansbury ? I know everybody recommends it for like every post about discipline, but it is a really good book!

The best way to handle behavior at this age is to guid them into appropriate behavior. If they are doing something inappropriate, guide their behavior into something better. Encourage them to behave well more than you discourage bad behavior. Toddlers are much more receptive to positive than to negatives.

u/thesassyllamas · 12 pointsr/raisingkids

I highly recommend No Bad Kids and Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids. Both books helped me tremendously as a parent, and helped me parent the exact opposite of how I was raised. One of the most important things at this age is consistent, clear boundaries, and standing your ground. Do not make empty threats - follow through.

u/dorky2 · 10 pointsr/toddlers

How old is the toddler? Janet Lansbury has some great books about discipline, like this one. It's geared toward parents, but there's a lot of useful info in there for caregivers. Toddlers are little boundary-explorers, and creating a secure, consistent environment where they know what to expect is the goal, but it's easier said than done. Behavior is communication, so if you can figure out the underlying need that's leading to the behavior, and meet the need, that's the ideal situation. It's a daily balancing act of figuring out where to put the boundary and then how to hold the boundary firm.

u/mmabpa · 9 pointsr/Parenting

No Bad Kids by Janet Lansbury was a big game changer for me. It helped me understand why 2 year olds tantrum the way they do, not just tools for working with them.

u/Valirony · 9 pointsr/toddlers

You are not alone. And you are not a bad mom.

I have lots of bad days when I don’t live up to the standard I’ve set myself—and PS if you’re looking for learning what TO do rather than just what not to do, I highly recommend No Bad Kids. If you google Janet landsbury you can check out her blog and podcast and search for topics that ring true for you.

Anyway, onto sharing some tidbits: just recently I let loose and just YELLED at my 18 month old. I am very sound sensitive and he likes to screech like a banshee and I was having terrible headaches... so finally I just really let loose and almost screamed at him to stop. He looked at me in shock and started crying in earnest.

I took me a second to even feel bad because I was so relieved to have the high-pitched screeching stop. And my yelling? It was premeditated. It’s not like I just hit a breaking point and lost control. No, I just decided I was going to do it and I did.

I felt bad of course and hugged him and he went about his day and it was all fine.

I have lots of low moments. I haven’t hit my son, but that is by virtue of my tendency to simply check out. When his volume gets high and my system goes into overwhelm, I walk away either physically or I dissociate. Now, you may think hitting is worse, but this is my biggest fear: that I will be the unavailable and dissociated mother who comes out of it only to yell and terrify her offspring.

And yeah, I have the desire to hit. I come from a terribly abusive family history and the urge is strong. I can only offer what has worked for me: I verbalize it. “I want to hit” and just hearing my voice saying it can snap me out of it. It’s worked so far, but I am always scared that I am one tantrum away from spanking.

Sooooo you are totally not alone. It’s very hard to break the cycle of family trauma! And in case it makes you feel any better... I am a god damn therapist myself. I know how I “should” be doing this parenting gig. Doesn’t make it any easier.

Hugs and love.

u/FrankTorrance · 8 pointsr/Parenting
u/cadabra04 · 4 pointsr/Parenting

I've found that reading a few books with different viewpoints helps. You'll be able to get a big picture of things and get ideas for what would work for you.

I only have a 2 year old, so I'll follow this thread for sure to see other recs. I've read Lansbury's No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame , and Ive also read the "Taming your Toddler" chapters of The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems: Sleeping, Feeding, and Behavior--Beyond the Basics from Infancy Through Toddlerhood.

I've got some problems with both books, but Ive also taken good points from both and made use of them.

u/PonderingWaterBridge · 3 pointsr/beyondthebump

This is my next read, now that I find myself saying, "no!" Like allllll the time :)

u/high_gravity · 3 pointsr/AskParents

Does she indicate why she's removing them at all? Is it a game? Does she not like the look? Do they feel weird?

This sort of thing is fairly run-of-the-mill 2 year old testing of boundaries, to some degree. Whether she's laughing during this, or screaming and crying, might help narrow the cause.

If it's a game, I'd suggest just walking away and explaining that "we can't do X until you're dressed". I've had luck with star charts too, though she may be a bit young for that concept. Basically, don't play the game with her if she thinks it's funny, or is doing it to get a rise out of you. Yes, this makes your morning longer, but it will work over time.

If she doesn't like the look, as my son started doing, we chose things together. Really, he's given a false choice between a couple of things we've already deemed acceptable, but basically it's the illusion of him deciding what he's wearing.

If they feel weird or it's a sensory thing, that's also normal and something you can work through via the type of clothes you buy (i.e., sticking with stuff that's tagless and has minimal seams). Eventually you'll find "safe" items that feel ok. My daughter actually had Sensory Processing Disorder from about 4y6m to 6y6m, which led to a lot of screaming and crying about clothes "feeling weird". But with OT and a lot of patience, we worked through it. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but can go into more detail over DM. I do think yours is too young to have those issues, they don't present until around 4 or so.

If this is your first toddler, there are a million books out there you can read too. We really liked No Bad Kids, by Janet Lansbury. She has a great podcast called Unruffled, too.

u/Devea · 3 pointsr/Parenting

http://www.amazon.com/No-Bad-Kids-Toddler-Discipline/dp/1499351119 No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline by Janet Lansbury might be a good read for you.

u/AllonsyMonPetit · 2 pointsr/beyondthebump

I just bought Janet Lansbury's No bad kids, an book on toddler discipline without shame.

https://www.amazon.com/No-Bad-Kids-Toddler-Discipline/dp/1499351119

u/ModAnnDIL · 2 pointsr/Parenting

Check out this book: https://www.amazon.com/No-Bad-Kids-Toddler-Discipline/dp/1499351119

And more from the author on her website (and facebook page): http://www.janetlansbury.com/

u/unicorns_and_cheese · 2 pointsr/raisedbynarcissists

Yes. I didn't recognize my mom as a narcissist until after I had a baby (who's now a toddler), but I think about this a lot now. I'm actively working on it by reading a lot of books on how to be a good parent, like No Bad Kids and Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child. I've also been talking about this worry with my therapist. She pointed out that I'm approaching empathetic parenting with intention, so that already seems to set me apart from my mom. That makes me feel like I'm on the right path.

I've also been thinking lately about how my mom and my MIL, who is also a narcissist, expect my husband and I (and our siblings) to take care of them. They're not infirm or anything - they've acted like that our entire lives. I remind myself frequently that it's my job to take care of my kid, not the other way around. When he acts out, it's because he's having a hard time. It's not something he's doing to me.

To be honest, it is sometimes a challenge. Even when I feel like I'm doing everything right, I wonder if he'll feel more positive about me than I do about my mom when he gets to be my age. But working on my relationship with him isn't draining in the way that my relationship with my mom is. I feel like all the hard work I put into myself and my relationship with him will pay dividends. If he knows I love him for who he is, I will have succeeded.

u/RoniaLawyersDaughter · 2 pointsr/Parenting

Admittedly I’m not where you are yet, but I have recently read this toddler discipline book for help with my 11 month old. She’s been pulling the cats’ tails and petting them roughly and I felt I wasn’t getting through to her. The book is Janet Lansbury’s No Bad Kids. I’m following her sample script of “I won’t let you touch the tail,” and removing my kid from the situation. She goes into wayyyy more detail and I really like her approach. I read the ebook pretty quickly.

Edit: I know 11 months is pretty young but I’m proud to say she is petting the cats much more gently now! We have success at least half the time after only a week. Admittedly she was never being rough with them out of anger, but it’s still a learning curve for her. She looks over at me while doing it to gauge my reaction.

u/paperd · 1 pointr/beyondthebump

Now that you are entering into this stage of development, I suggest the two following books.

"No Bad Kids" by Janet Lansbury http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1499351119/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1499351119&linkCode=as2&tag=janetlansbury-20&linkId=JW6MS6RW3DRKLN7Z She also has a blog that's mostly pretty handy.

"Love and Logic in Early Childhood" by Jim Fey https://www.amazon.com/dp/1930429002/ref=cm_sw_r_other_awd_lfEIwbTM3Y95V

Your baby is testing boundaries. He's testing to see if he can get a different reaction from you. And he does! Sometimes you snap at him, sometimes you say no, sometimes you ignore him, sometimes you give him a swat on the bottom... Different reactions.

A 13 month old is too young to respect an abstract boundary. It just is. My suggestion is that whenever it is at all possible, rearrange your environment so that he can't get in trouble. I know its tough because the dog has to get to water, but if its conceivable to move its location, do that. (Laundry room with a doggy door, maybe?) Control the environment, not the baby. When that is not possible, keep your cool and stay consistent.