Reddit Reddit reviews Opening Up: A Guide To Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships

We found 3 Reddit comments about Opening Up: A Guide To Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

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Opening Up: A Guide To Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships
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3 Reddit comments about Opening Up: A Guide To Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships:

u/hansfreesolo · 4 pointsr/latebloomerlesbians

Kudos for surfing the reddit threads.

Open-relationships are WORK. Honesty and communication are #1 on that list. It can 100% work where only one partner is open, and that's totally fine.

Lately, the r/polyamory boards are *mostly cis-hetero couples wanting to open their relationships so their wives can sexually explore or so they can have threesomes....so as of late, I wouldn't suggest that /r being your best option.

What I can suggest (to start with) is this:

u/CleverReversal · 4 pointsr/sex

I agree with your take, monogamy can and is broken down into subcategories. I've got book quotes that agree with/support your take! The book is "Opening Up: A guide to creating and sustaining open relationships." https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07H46BBC7/.

There's a category called "Partnered Non-Monogamy", and it mentions this strategy of being slightly open is by far the most common. Passages relevant to your interests:

"Experiences with other people may occur once or be recurring, but they are generally considered temporary, casual, commitment-free, and nonromantic."

"The majority of swingers consider themselves emotionally monogamous and sexually non-monogamous."

It is absolutely 100% a question of your view of it. You're not writing to Webster telling them to change their definitions, you're organizing your own thoughts and views of your own personal life. And sub-categorizing of the different aspects of monogamy is both allowed (obviously) and useful.

u/wesleyemw · 2 pointsr/nonmonogamy

Reading your post, the situation that you described feels immensely similar with I felt when me(M) and my SO(F) begun exploring the idea of nonmonogamy.

For me was (and sometimes continues to be) difficult letting go some societal norms that us, men, are biased to believe that are true. I'm a kind of protective guy, and was troubled by the possibility of other guy not respect her — or treat her well — like I do. But as u/twinkleztar put, in different manner, we need to work towards understand your autonomy and agency to choose and protect yourself. I don't know if you let him participate in the process of choosing your partners could help — I don't participate and don't like this approach, but this is for my specific case, for example.

Another issue that troubled me had more relation with my insecurities and self-esteem — and for us various of these issues are reflected by how we are seen by other men, or how our sense of 'masculine' was built. Again, many gender norms predates how we see ourselves and how we relate with women in general.

When my SO revealed that she was interested in some colleague of her, and fucking him, whereas we already 'did the nonmonogamy talk', I felt emasculated and, for some extent, being in a second plane. Society tells that, for us, when 'our girls' fucks other guy, we are in some form a 'inferior' man. But we reached a point where both of us desired, after all, that was the time to happen, and she went and fuck her colleague. Was difficult, there were problems and was a rolle coaster of emotions for me, but we grew stronger after this.

I find useful, as a man, to work towards strengthen my self-esteem, confidence, and nurture a more healthy vision of masculinity that not is based in preconceived notions of property of other body or 'soul', and to guarantee the free agency of my SO.

Finally, some resources I find useful (besides some of already cited in this thread):

Opening Up: A Guide To Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships

Is extremely useful for both of you design what kind of deals could work for you

Polyamory and Jealousy: A More Than Two Essentials Guide

Specific for jealousy, offers valuable tools for dealing with it

The Jealousy Workbook: Exercises and Insights for Managing Open Relationships

Another precious resource

Playing Fair: A Guide to Nonmonogamy for Men into Women

This is specific for men dealing with diverse situations in nonmonogamy