Reddit reviews Please Understand Me II: Temperament, Character, Intelligence

Depends on who you ask. In Please Understand Me Keirsy suggests your ideal match would be an ENFJ. That can work, but in practice I've found that INTPs seem to be mutually attracted to and happiest with INFJs.

I've also seen a lot of ESFJ pairings, but I wouldn't recommend it. Those relationships tend to have a lot of unresolvable communication problems and frustration. The endgame usually involves the ESFJ being frustrated by the INTP's unconventional mind and lack of social ambition, and the INTP resenting the ESFJs passive-aggressive goading and insistence on social convention. It's not pretty.

To put my comment in context, I (INTJ) am currently writing a book on Myers-Briggs with my business partner Antonia (ENTP), who does life coaching. She focuses exclusively on INTPs.

Its from the author of this book.

http://www.amazon.com/Please-Understand-Temperament-Character-Intelligence/dp/1885705026

Here we go:

"Dr. Keirsey recommends Rational-Idealist pairings and suggests that the best combinations would be the 'opposite,' that is, ENTJ with INFP, ENTP with INFJ, INTJ with ENFP, and INTP with ENFJ. Each of these pairs has the 'N' in common, but nothing else. Anecdotal evidence appears to support his suggestions. If the couple has too much in common, they are likely to have some obvious weak areas. For example, a Rational Inventor (ENTP) with an Idealist Champion (ENFP) have only one letter different. This couple is likely to have lots of fun generating ideas and excitement but may have difficulty actually bringing ideas to fruition. Also, it is likely that neither one of them will be wild about housework or maintenance. Couples with a lot in common may find it easier to communicate but may also find it more difficult to get everything done."

Source: http://www.keirsey.com/personalityzone/lz14.asp

Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman is a great read.

Please Understand Me II: Temperament, Character, Intelligence by David Keirsey is also a classic.

Yes the more research I do the more I see that an F type wouldn't be the best fit. Its hard to find good resources online, I just bought Please Understand Me II and I plan to read that on a flight this weekend so maybe I'll post a short review when I get back. My logic was an F balances out the T, but now I agree that some F's drain me.

75% of the world is extroverted, and the tendency is to believe introversion is a flaw. You and your mom should read a book about Myers-Briggs personality type theory. You can take a shortcut by searching for "MBTI" (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator), but reading a book on the subject will likely help more. You'll need to take a quick test (70 questions, two answers each, no wrong answers) to get a quick map of your personality traits.

Book 1
Book 2

>The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, which was a big eye opener for me that the way that I experience love is not the same as how my wife does.

I also recommend Please Understand Me II by David Keirsey. If you want to understand how your spouse's (or anyone else's) mind works then this is the book for you.

All 8 of the N types have either Ni or Ne as one of their top two functions (i.e. dominant or auxiliary). Your admitted lack of future orientation suggests [not Ni], and your preference for speculating about possibilities and "what if" scenarios suggests [use of Ne] (although not necessarily as one of the top two functions).

Functions Chart

And if you have Ne in your stack of 4 functions then correspondingly you have Si by default (because Ne is always paired with Si to form a Ne-Si axis). That also fits with the past focus and traditionalism (correlating with Si) you originally described.

Advocating that every candidate runs independently isn't really definitive information either way (since it is an "eccentric" i.e. personal, ad hoc stance) rather than a general category. Right libertarianism however suggests SJ over NP, however. An INFP would more likely espouse liberal views, centrism, compromise, 'love and light', and so on. Therefore on that basis I'd suggest ISFJ (especially when you yourself think you're a J type).

Your results from the philosophical inclination test (on the other post) show you lean towards absolutism (J) - P types are usually skeptical -- and your score is also overwhelmingly moralist (70%) rather than nihilistic [TP] suggesting FJ.

One thing I didn't pick up on before is that all the NF types (Idealists) generally have an intrinsic future orientation, and SJ types generally have a past focus (Guardians, 'Traditionalists'). Therefore on that basis alone I'd say you are an ISFJ.

Here, which description sounds more accurate to you: (extract from Keirsey's book)

SJ: The Time is Yesterday

NF: The Time is Tomorrow

ENFPs and ENTPs are from completely different temperaments. If you are not familiar with David Keirsey, then it would probably behoove you to become familiar with his temperament theory.

I believe the best way to get rid of confusion about your type when the types are cross-temperament is to see which of the four temperaments you have the closest affinity with.

For example, I am an INTP, so I belong to the Rationals temperament, as Keirsey describes them. I identify more with the Rationals than any other temperament group. Not only that, but I identify with the other Rational types (INTJs and ENTPs, and to a lesser degree, ENTJs) more than the other types in the other temperaments generally. There are some things I relate to and like about some other NF types like INFJs and ENFPs, but ultimately I don't relate to their temperament (Idealists) more than I relate to the Rationals temperament.

If you are ENTP, then you will likely identify with other NTs more than NFs generally. If you are ENFP, then you will likely identify with other NF types more than NTs generally. For more clarification, I would highly recommend picking up Keirsey's Please Understand Me Part 2.

https://www.amazon.com/Please-Understand-Temperament-Character-Intelligence/dp/1885705026

http://www.amazon.com/Please-Understand-Temperament-Character-Intelligence/dp/1885705026

I suggest you get a copy of the book "Please Understand Me II" and read/skim the sections on each others' personalities... you'll probably find a lot to help you both understand where the other person is coming from, etc.

http://www.amazon.com/Please-Understand-Temperament-Character-Intelligence/dp/1885705026


To find out your myers briggs type I recommend this one:

http://similarminds.com/embj.html

This may seem like a homework assignment but it's actually really fun and fascinating. I recommend it as a parlor game among friends (couples or singles) as well.

It's been a while since I have done too much with those, but if you are interested in that kind of thing, the book I always liked was "Please Understand Me II" by Kiersey. Please Understand Me II

It uses different terms than the "classic" Myers Briggs, but it is well written and VERY informative.

Read these two books:

https://www.amazon.com/Please-Understand-Me-Character-Temperament/dp/0960695400



https://www.amazon.com/Please-Understand-Temperament-Character-Intelligence/dp/1885705026/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=FVKB3ATDS37873HH8AXF

This may not be what you are looking for, but take a look at Please Understand Me II by David Keirsey.