Reddit reviews Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free
We found 10 Reddit comments about Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
Was she raised in a conservative religious family/church/community? Those "Purity" messages can really screw people up. Pregnancy phobia -even when the person knows better - is a thing that happens sometimes.
I recommend you spend some time watching Sexplanations together and get PURE by Linda Kay Klein and read or listen to it together (the audio book is great, and may be available through your library).
I've heard really good things about the book Pure, by Linda Kay Klein (here's the Amazon link). If money is a concern, see if your local library has it.
I 100% feel for you, I was raised with the same purity beliefs. To this day it impacts my (married) sex life, but I'm actively working through it with a professional. Highly suggest that or a therapist when you're in the financial position. Until then, there are lots of great books and so many other women who can offer you moral support. You're not alone, you're not broken, you can heal and have a healthy, happy sex life! Check out @erica.smith.sex.ed on instagram, she's the sex educator I'm working with, and she has several highlights about purity culture and recovery from it. Education and community will get you a long way until you can work with a sex-positive therapist.
Same girl, same. I remember writing letters to my “future husband” when I was 13 about how I was saving myself for him and I was to remain pure and blah blah blah. Didn’t have my first relationship until about 27 and I was royally a messed up mess with intimacy.
Anyways, there’s this book I’ve been meaning to read about a girl who grew up in the purity movement. Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free https://www.amazon.com/dp/1501124811/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_tai_Ds27Cb5TGHR6Q
Ooo, boy...
So yeah, guy here, but I relate to a lot of this. Both personally (to an extent) and how I've seen it affect my wife.
We were both raised in the "purity culture" movement and came out worse for it. When I lost my virginity at 17 I felt dirty, broken, incomplete...like a piece of my soul was ripped off and I could never get it back. I later comforted myself by saying that I was going to marry this girl (because I was young and stupidly in-love and convinced that this was true). And then when that relationship became toxic and she cheated, I stayed with her because I was convinced that we had to make it work because I'd given her my virginity, that marrying her in eventuality was the only way to "redeem" myself for not saving that until marriage.
Yeah...
And my wife, she did wait until we were married, but all that purity culture stuff warped her sensibilities about sex to where she even felt weird about about "not being a virgin" AFTER we were married. And she didn't get any sense of owning her own sexuality until into her 30s.
Sexual shaming is one of the big scarring effects of Christian orthodoxy. And as mental health issues become more publicly discussed, we're REALLY starting to see the effects.
I recommend this: https://www.amazon.com/Pure-Inside-Evangelical-Movement-Generation/dp/1501124811
My wife says it's helped her a lot.
I just finished reading Linda Kay Klein’s book Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free. It was very eye opening to me. I came from a Roman Catholic tradition and we weren’t wrapped up in this purity culture that has ensnared the Evangelical community. I mean we had shame about this and that, but it wasn’t anything like what Klein talks about in her book. I feel sorry for the people who went through (or are currently going through) that torture.
I'm also new to this community, so also sorry if this response is improper! I don't know how useful my personal experience would be to you, but I've come across some resources recently that may help.
I just started reading her book, "You are your own" but look into https://jamieleefinch.com/. I listened to her interview on Episode 95 of the Exvangelical podcast and really enjoyed the conversation.
Another book I've heard very good things about is "Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free" (https://www.amazon.com/Pure-Inside-Evangelical-Movement-Generation/dp/1501124811)
There's also a big community of people online posting their experiences with purity culture in places like https://twitter.com/ikdgstories. You may connect with someone there who's story resonates with you.
I (24F) definitely understand where she is coming from. I am still a virgin myself at 24 due to religious reasons, but I have been able to reshape my view of sex over time and my sex drive is no longer something that fuels my anxiety and drives me into depression. I had a similar experience growing up and shamed myself in college after every sexual encounter. This way of thinking is not healthy and my religious conditioning harmed me more than it ever helped me in that aspect. I am still a Christian, was able to maintain my faith and I feel like my relationship with Christ is stronger and healthier than it has ever been. It feels raw and honest instead of performative and forced. It feels good to finally be able to date with a healthy mindset. There are many of us out there who have been through this and honestly it is going to take a lot of reading, unpacking, and therapy to repair her mental state. There are plenty of resources out there. Here is a good book to get you guys started if you are interested.
https://www.amazon.com/Pure-Inside-Religious-Movement-Generation/dp/1501124811/ref=nodl_?creativeASIN=1501124811&linkCode=w61&imprToken=xEVExrfxi2zJ9-6gbX1Xfg&slotNum=2&ascsubtag=%5B%5Dc2%5Bp%5Dcjlny9rvd003h0pyeow0y5bfa%5Bi%5DYAs2oz%5Bd%5DM%5Bz%5Dm%5Bt%5Dw%5Br%5Dm.facebook.com&tag=thecutonsite-20
Feel free to message me if you have any questions.
This book may help you start on your journey. It's about others who went through the same thing.
Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1501124811/
Um, no.
I'd advise reading up on Christian sexual ethics: Just Love: A Framework for Christian Sexual Ethics; Sex + Faith: Talking with Your Child from Birth to Adolescence
Also, this one might be helpful: Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free