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Red: A Crayon's Story https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062252070/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_krwWAbJMD8QFQ
The question is, does this book actually exist?
Edit: It actually does.
Adding to the list is Red, a crayon story!
I have many! Here are a few:
Gender Failure by Rae Spoon and Ivan Coyote This is the book version of the authors' live show that toured in 2012. They both are nonbinary, and the stories they tell are about that.
Second Son by Ryan Sallans Ryan has been a role model of mine for a long time, so I was really excited to get his book. It's a pretty basic transition memoir, but he has a really great voice.
Gender Outlaw by Kate Bornstein This one is a classic, and one I wish I had read much sooner! It's a transition memoir, but she also has some awesome discussions about gender in general too. Also, check out The Next Generation which is a collection of the work of trans* writers and artists.
Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg I think everyone should read this. It's a memoir/fiction sort of thing, and gender and transition are shown to be much more complex than in other transition memoirs. This one is quite old though, so maybe your library already has it?
Lastly, I will suggest Red: A Crayon's Story, which is basically the sweetest story about a blue crayon that was given a red wrapper by mistake.
Can you just follow your child's lead on this one? If he wants to be a he, call him he and by what name he chooses. If he later changes this again, you can always follow that? Let him have age appropriate say in what he wears or what toys he's playing with. As he gets older of course the choices can become bigger (as happens with all kids), but by asking questions and checking in you're letting him lead what happens, for himself. And it's also a good way to check in about where he's at along the way, without having to ask directly.
But also, I don't know that anyone needs to make a big deal out of it at this age? It doesn't have to be "My son has come out as trans" so much as "my child has asked to be called he and ThisName, and we appreciate friends/family doing so".
Reading is great, so I'm glad you were able to find a book for yourselves (and there are more). If you want books to read with him, there are a couple. Backwards Day by Bear Bergman, and Red, A Crayon's Story by Michael Hall, are two off the top of my head (but no doubt there are more).
Red: A Crayon's Story
>A blue crayon mistakenly labeled as "red" suffers an identity crisis in this picture book by the New York Times–bestselling creator of My Heart Is Like a Zoo and It's an Orange Aardvark! Funny, insightful, and colorful, Red: A Crayon's Story, by Michael Hall, is about being true to your inner self and following your own path despite obstacles that may come your way. Red will appeal to fans of Lois Ehlert, Eric Carle, and The Day the Crayons Quit, and makes a great gift for readers of any age!
>Red has a bright red label, but he is, in fact, blue. His teacher tries to help him be red (let's draw strawberries!), his mother tries to help him be red by sending him out on a playdate with a yellow classmate (go draw a nice orange!), and the scissors try to help him be red by snipping his label so that he has room to breathe. But Red is miserable. He just can't be red, no matter how hard he tries! Finally, a brand-new friend offers a brand-new perspective, and Red discovers what readers have known all along. He's blue! This funny, heartwarming, colorful picture book about finding the courage to be true to your inner self can be read on multiple levels, and it offers something for everyone.
I'm not sure how to best explain it, but I came across a cute book the other day which is easily interpreted as an analogy for somebody being transgender. It's called Red: A Crayon's Story by Michael Hall. I haven't looked into if it's actually about being transgender, but it could be of use to you?
Otherwise, if you don't get the help you want here, maybe you'd have some luck asking somewhere like /r/transgender or something?
There's a book coming out in a few weeks which looks like it might be exactly what you have in mind - It Feels Good to Be Yourself: A Book About Gender Identity. It's fairly unique in that it includes non-binary individuals; most of the children's books with trans characters are specifically MtF or FtM. The only other one I'm aware of is From the Stars in the Sky to the Fish in the Sea, in which the main character is implied to be intersex and genderfluid, and uses they/them pronouns. (However, the metaphor of also being lots of different animals can be a bit confusing to young kids; I've found this to be true with some of the other more metaphorical stories out there as well, such as Red: A Crayon's Story, Not Quite Narwhal, and Neither, although those are all fantastic books!). There are also a couple other non-fiction books, Who Are You? The Kids Guide to Gender Identity and The Gender Wheel, which are probably a bit too complex (and preachy) for a 3-year-old but might at least give you some ideas. The authors of Gender Wheel also just released an alphabet book focused on different pronouns called They, She, He, easy as ABC which would definitely work for his age. As you pointed out though, it's much harder to find books about trans parents than trans kids; I don't think I can really help you there, as the few I'm aware of are self-published and not very well written or illustrated. The closest thing I can think of would be Introducing Teddy, in which the main character's teddy bear comes out as trans, but it's a binary transition, so may not be super helpful. There are lots of good picture books showing diverse family structures though, which you could definitely elaborate on. Sorry I can't be more helpful, it's definitely a major gap in the world of children's books that will hopefully be filled soon!!
It may be an option to make this a biological and medical issue.
There are more and more studies showing its a biological condition, due to development before birth.
Brochure by a large national health service explaining with pictures and pointing to studies as example :
Its nobodys fault and just a way people are.
It is not flagged as mental any more in international standards for a few years now, for very good reasons. It was flagged like this also recently by the UN. Its a recognized medical condition and transition as people feel necessary is the recognized medical solution.
Religion etc. have nothing to do with it. Often its cis people who only see their point of view presuming things that have nothing to do with reality. There usually are few if any references so it comes down to : I don't like it so it must be bad.
Transition would not be for them but for trans people. People need to understand there are others out there who feel opposite to how they feel. Its called trans for a reason.
Some people compare it to epilepsy where especially religious people also presumed all kinds of things. Its now accepted its biological.
A few things from [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/7lxz8u/relative_recently_came_out_as_trans_looking_for/drq5v9f/
) might help cis people understand trans people in case . The link is by a trans person and many cis people said it is the best description they have read.
(TW suicide mention. And not all trans people show this level of dysphoria but it may be stressful in any case.)
Please stay away from self harm in any case. It leads to nowhere.
And this may help show that important is how people feel and not outer body parts, and that identity and orientation etc. are different things :
Concerning children some people explain like a can : they are the gender they identify with inside (can) and are about to change the outside ( labels etc).
I know of someone who tried to explain to a kid. Someone else in the room just said : they regenerated ( a Dr. Who concept). The child looked in awe. If the concept is known, it may be easy to explain.
As book you may like Red: A Crayon's Story. https://www.amazon.com/Red-Crayons-Story-Michael-Hall/dp/0062252070
And in general a few things from this post might help you too. There are also hints concerning looking for support there.
PFLAG for example might know someone people may accept as authorities in case, like accepting ministers.
This pamphlet from PFLAG might be what you’re looking for. Our Trans Loved Ones
I also have some books I actually bought for my kids but I plan to show them to my parents too.
Red: A Crayon’s Story
I Am Jazz
I used Red: A Crayon's Story when explaining myself to my kids. It's great for younger children, but an 8-year-old should still find it enjoyable. Plot spoiler: a blue crayon comes mislabelled as red, and is encouraged by everyone to try to draw red things, with laughable results. Finally discovers that drawing blue things actually works, despite the label.
Also check out the Customers who bought this item also bought… section on Amazon.
My daughter was also 2 when I started transitioning. At the time, my wife had similar issues with me being called mommy, and we wanted there to be as little confusion as possible. So, I went with "Allie", which is just short for my name, Alison. it worked well because it had a similar cadence to daddy, so it was just a matter of saying "oh do you mean Allie? " and similar things like that. It took a little while, but it did work after a few months. There was a weird period when she was 3 that she thought daddy was a different person, and that was tough for me to deal with, but as she got a little older she understood.
I would very much recommend this book, Red. It's about a red crayon who could only draw blue, no matter how hard he tried to change. In the end he realizes that he was actually blue and just had the wrong label. https://www.amazon.com/Red-Crayons-Story-Michael-Hall/dp/0062252070
Not that they're my kids, but my siblings just told their kids what's up. They just accepted it (2 and 3 year olds) or asked a few questions and then accepted it (6 year old). Pretty sure the infant didn't get a taking to.
I did send each of my siblings a copy of Red: A Crayon's Story, which I'm pretty sure wasn't necessary, but at least the younger kids enjoyed the story.
One of my nephews does dead name and misgender me when he's really excited (and since he's 2 I can't be all that annoyed), but other than that there haven't been any issues.
the only thing that I can say is: I'd see a therapist who is well versed in these matters (I have no clinical opinion as to whether your kid is trans, or 'gender expressive'. Not only to support your child but to support you.
There are some good children's picture books that deal with these issues gently (I have two five year olds and I fully transitioned about a year ago)
(this story is adorbs)
I hope this helps! <3
This story is a good way to explain being a trangender person to a kid https://www.amazon.com/Red-Crayons-Story-Michael-Hall/dp/0062252070
Some faves with great positive messages, no monsters - and colourful artwork!
Red: A Crayon's Story by Michael Hall
Zero by Kathryn Otoshi
Leon the Chameleon by Melanie Watt
Have You Filled A Bucket Today? By Carol McCloud
I Am A Rainbow by Dolly Parton
Ordinary Mary's Extraordinary Deed by Emily Pearson
Grumpy Bird by Jeremy Tankard
Spork by Kyo Maclear isn't as colourful, but the silver might go with lavender?
Here’s a book that will help: