Reddit reviews Relax It's Just God: How and Why to Talk to Your Kids About Religion When You're Not Religious

http://www.amazon.com/Relax-Its-Just-God-Religious/dp/1941932002

This may be a good place for you guys to start. Don't be coy with your kid about belief. Don't let others full in the gaps you leave because you don't think it's important or don't know how to approach the subject. Sure some things are age appropriate, but most things are not.

I would call your parents and tell them to lay off or risk never seeing their grandchild again. Religion makes people crazy and crazy spreads like fire. Sometimes fighting fire means getting ahead of the main blaze and burning the underbrush in a controlled fashion. Maybe that means you lose what you had, but it means keeping what you have safe, and that's more important.

EDIT: Had some time to A. Wake up, and B. Get my shit organized.

So my first recommendation is to read these 3 books.

http://www.amazon.com/Relax-Its-Just-God-Religious/dp/1941932002/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1452781395&sr=8-1&keywords=relax+it%27s+just+god

http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Beyond-Belief-Raising-Religion/dp/0814474268/ref=pd_sim_14_5?ie=UTF8&dpID=41mSJWJjhCL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR104%2C160_&refRID=136KZ8YRX0P0CY93EJGA

http://www.amazon.com/Magic-Reality-Dawkins-Richard-Hardcover/dp/B011SKFWNK/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1452781427&sr=1-2

These are all geared more towards the parents, but it sounds like that will be just as beneficial to you. I've worried about the same exact stuff you're worried about ever since my wife told me she was pregnant. These books have been a fantastic resource. The first 2 help you prepare for the inevitable questions (which it sounds like you're already getting) children ask in regards to our origins. There's nothing I can say here that will really improve upon what's contained in these books, so my #1 suggestion is to just pick them up and read them. "Relax, It's Just God" Is a quick read, so I'd probably start there.

I'll just say, for anyone that hasn't read them, or doesn't intend to, the most important thing I took from these books is this:

Please don't shield your children from religion. It's played an incredibly important role in the founding of civilization, and it continues to be a dominant force in society (particularly if you're in the US). By shielding your children from all things religion, they will have no defense against it when they are inevitably confronted with it. To a child, the easy answers and flimsy logic of religious dogma can seem persuasive. By refusing to talk about it, or not engaging them honestly in discussions about it, you're essentially sending them out into the world unarmed.

Now, once you've sort of amassed this collection of tips and strategies for talking about it with them, you need to build an understanding of the concepts that ACTUALLY govern our world. There's a lot of great resources out there nowadays that introduce complex things in a very approachable way. If your children are on the younger side, I'd recommend these books:

http://www.amazon.com/I-Wonder-Annaka-Harris/dp/1940051045/ref=pd_sim_sbs_14_5?ie=UTF8&dpID=51Xa9vh-4mL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_AC_UL160_SR160%2C160_&refRID=13A7B660SHNYNWGNRS9J

http://www.amazon.com/Our-Family-Tree-Evolution-Story/dp/0152017720/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_3?ie=UTF8&refRID=12ZKCH4ZP41R11J3AQC3

http://www.amazon.com/Older-than-The-Stars-Karen/dp/1570917884/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2?ie=UTF8&refRID=1NTGW8B5FNWYGW2MDDGP

I buy these 3 for every single one of our friends that has a child (provided I'm cognizant of their beliefs, wouldn't want to step on any toes)

I think one of the things religion has going for itself, that science and reason kind of lag behind in, is instilling a sense of wonder in people. It's easy for adults to marvel at things like quasars, black holes, the process of DNA replication, etc., etc., but it's a bit harder to instill that sense of wonder in kids without getting into some really dry science. That's why religion (in my opinion) is still so successful, it offers easy answers to really difficult questions, and doesn't really require you to think too hard on it. "I'm scared of dying" is easily answered by "Well don't worry, God loves you and will bring you to heaven with him."

There's also some great videos on youtube I'd recommend (though they vary a bit in regards to age appropriateness):

https://www.youtube.com/user/sciencestatedclearly (evolution)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rHUDWjR5gg&list=PL8dPuuaLjXtPAJr1ysd5yGIyiSFuh0mIL (Astronomy)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7X56fBK1JlY&list=PLsmqeqKj7M-rZe1C9PUon8V-VQ1tZj5NF (evolution)


Kids, even very young kids, are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. Knowledge of the way the world actually works is the best insulator against religious dogma, so give them as much as they can handle. When that kid at school tells them God created everything, instill values in your child that will lead them to ask "why" instead of just accepting that at face value. And if your child comes home and says, "Jimmy said god created the world" you can respond with, "Well yes, that's what Christianity says, do you know what Islam says? Hinduism? What about the Greek Myths, those are pretty cool huh? Most civilizations have a story about how everything got started, but none of them really agree with one another, and we've never been able to prove it. Scientifically we have a pretty good idea, but there's a few things we don't know yet, and that's perfectly fine. It's ok to say 'I don't know' when it comes to big complicated stuff like this. Let's see if we can't find out more! (insert books/videos/research here)"

My son is barely a month old, so I'm a ways off from a lot of these conversations, but I'm doing my best to prepare myself. I hope to teach him how to tell whether a source is reliable or not, how to be skeptical (particularly of those in power) and how to think critically, and not stop digging just because the answer he arrives at makes him feel better. Luckily, there's a plethora of information out there nowadays from secular sources that is geared towards people like you and me and our non-religious offspring.


EDIT: The other book I will recommend that's not a parenting book and isn't geared towards kids is "Your inner fish". There is a series of youtube videos based of the book if you prefer that. Basically, it makes evolution really cool, and in a way that (in my opinion) you can tell your children about easily. Things like why our skin is the way it is, why we look the way we do, etc. All stuff kids will probably ask.

Here are some books you may find useful:

https://www.amazon.com/Belief-Book-David-G-McAfee/dp/1908675314

https://www.amazon.com/Book-Gods-David-G-McAfee/dp/1533066760

https://www.amazon.com/Relax-Its-Just-God-Religious/dp/1941932002

https://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Beyond-Belief-Raising-Religion/dp/0814437419

https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Freethinkers-Practical-Parenting-Beyond/dp/0814410960