Reddit reviews Religion for Atheists: A Non-believer's Guide to the Uses of Religion

The first three pages were edited so it wasn't a three page article in CNN, but certainly recognizable for anybody who had read the book (or the free preview on Amazon.com).

It was edited, but whole paragraphs were kept intact. Here's the CNN article and you can find the 3-page preview on Amazon to compare...

Relevant book: "Religion for Atheists": http://www.amazon.com/Religion-Atheists-Non-believers-Guide-Uses/dp/0307379108/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1348773700&sr=8-1&keywords=religion+for+atheists

> I was hesitant and tired but I chose to accept

You relinquished! You caved. You acquiesced. Don't say yes when you feel that way. It's going against what you really want. Trust your gut. Be assertive but in a proactive, constructive way. When your brain says "fuck that" reply, "Thanks for the invitation but I have a prior engagement." :)

In your defense, this dude was being obnoxious. He refused to listen to you several times. Maybe he wanted to do something to "earn your friendship." But regardless of his reasoning when you said no he should have taken off. He was making it awkward, the whole thing was uncomfortable. Maybe he has no social skills. It doesn't even matter.

When someone makes you wait - if you can't get them by phone to cancel - when they finally get there, make a hard and fast decision about how much more effort you want to put into it. If the answer is "0" trust your instincts. Remove the possibility of it happening. Put the bike inside and stand outside and chat with your friend for a few minutes. Then say hey thanks for coming over but I've go to study, do laundry, go see my parents, any excuse is fine. The reason does not matter. It's your life and you have things you want to do. You don't have to have a real reason or explain it to anyone.

> I snapped and took the bike and threw it out on the grass and told him to leave. I shook his hand and said bye.

I love that you shook his hand. You were genuinely trying not to beat his head into the pavement. That was truly a valiant effort. So when he left, you finally didn't have to worry about your self-composure anymore and you took your frustrations out on the one thing that the whole event revolved around - the bike.

Believe it or not this makes perfect sense. You're a normal person who tries to be kind to others and respectful of their time and effort. This guy was not. So you blew up after he left. It's an almost poetic, destructive dance we do when we're paying more attention to someone else's needs than our own. So give yourself a break. Don't beat yourself up for getting mad. It happened. It's in the past. I don't think this dude's friendship for you is critical to your future success in life. :)

Chalk it up to an experience that taught you something about human interaction. The lesson here is "assertiveness". There are books like Difficult Converastions that help us deal with disagreements in a constructive manner. The focus is "active listening" and negotiation when things become overly complicated and heated.

Everything after that, the sledgehammer (great choice of weapon BTW), busting up the bike, it was all just you still coming down. When we're that mad, our rational mind is gone because fight-or-flight has fully kicked in and we want to definitely fight. The amygdala has released hormones that make you capable of pummeling whatever annoys you. So you had to wait for that chemical response to dissipate throughout your system. Once it was gone, your rational mind comes back online. Then you make unfortunate realizations like, it was in front of other people, feelings of being embarrassed, etc., and then guilt for temporarily going psycho.

Don't feel bad! You're human. Learn from it. This event sounds like a one-off to me. But if you need more help have a few sessions with a therapist. And check out books like When Anger Hurts and Take Charge of Your Life. Realize good things can be found in unlikely places. Your local library probably has copies you can borrow if you are short on cash but these are worthy investments. Feel better!

Religion for Atheists: A Non-believer's Guide to the Uses of Religion