Reddit reviews Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't

Totally understand. It doesn't have to happen all at once. Just pick something that's driving you crazy (like the step son) and say "no" until she acquiesces or escalates. Then you can say "I am my son's parent, we've told you our concerns. Again, I'm telling you "no"".

This is a good book (it's a bit churchy, but not in a "go to church way") about how to set healthy boundaries with those around you. It helped my SO become not a doormat to the toxic people in his life. http://amzn.to/2v6aq9U

Oh my LAWD! There's a workbook too!

Book -- Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't https://www.amazon.com/dp/0310210844/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_JTa2AbTTRQ051

Workbook -- By Henry Cloud, John Townsend: Safe People Workbook https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0080TBWW8/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_lVa2AbGCT147M

There's also a book on Boundaries!! 🙌🙌
Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/0310351804/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_WVa2Ab3BR2QXC

Here are some other books that really helped me. I'm always recommending them to people on Reddit. Are you the one for me?
https://www.amazon.com/Are-You-One-Me-Avoiding/dp/0440215757

Also "Safe people"
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0310210844/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1520720670&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=safe+people+by+cloud+and+townsend&dpPl=1&dpID=412yuh5j4RL&ref=plSrch

Henry Cloud is a great author. Also "Why can't you read my mind REALLY helped my marriage.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1569244758/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1520720763&sr=8-2&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=why+cant+you+read+my+mind

Arm yourself bro! And good luck!

I read some book suggestions and they’re not bad. It’s more about you than them. Two great books I’ve read and have really helped me personally get healthier in this area are

Safe People
https://www.amazon.com/Safe-People-Relationships-Avoid-Those/dp/0310210844

And

Boundaries - when to say yes and when to say no.

https://www.amazon.com/Boundaries-When-Take-Control-Your/dp/0310585902

The later helps in situational circumstances and the former helps you choose the right people so you don’t get into those situations over and over.

Your disease draws you to people like you. That's part of the disease. I've been dealing with this for a while and haven't found some kind of magic formula that helps pick safe people. I try to help my partner judge whether or not someone will be a good influence. Sometimes it results in a huge fight. Sometimes my advice is just ignored. Sometimes there's a huge crash, and I have to pick up the pieces. There are a lot of books out there than can shed light on how to choose who to be friends with. Safe People is a good place to start, but I can give you a long list of books that utilize CBT/DBT/ACT.