Reddit reviews Safety Skills for Asperger Women: How to Save a Perfectly Good Female Life

I haven't read it, but Tony Attwood recommends Lynn Holiday's "Safety Skills for Asperger Women: How to Save a Perfectly Good Female Life" (https://www.amazon.com/dp/1849058369/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_AEX6Cb14JN4HC) and it seems relevant to your concerns.

Correction: The vast majority of diagnoed aspies are male. Apparently, there are a lot of undiagnosed girls, amongst others because the diagnostic criteria are based on the behaviour of males only (seeing as Hans Asperger only examined boys). As far as I understand, people are realizing more and more that girls have been socialized differently and are harder to spot. I think there's more about this in this book: http://www.amazon.com/Safety-Skills-Asperger-Women-Perfectly/dp/1849058369 (free preview for a lot of pages).

Yes. As has been documented before by people like Tony Attwood, it's a major problem for girls (and guys, to a lesser extent) who lack good lie detection and creep detection skills and who are taught not to trust their own instincts or their understanding of rules and social expectations.

Being naive, gullible, and socially clueless makes us easy victims. Also, unlike a lot of NT girls, many girls who are on the spectrum don't have a network of close friends watching out for us, warning us about creepy guys.

In my teens and early 20s I tended to miss red flags that should have warned me away from certain guys. And, once in a relationship, if a guy told me that doing certain things or acting in certain ways was normal or expected, I tended to believe him, gullible idiot that I was. I was targeted repeatedly by men I now realize were sexual predators, including a severe abuser and manipulator who completely gaslighted me. That ended in a depression that was nearly fatal, but also led to my diagnosis as an Aspie @23.

There are two books listed on the u/Aspergirls Wiki that are directly aimed at helping girls and women on the spectrum avoid this kind of exploitation and abuse:

• Safety Skills for Asperger Women: How to Save a Perfectly Good Female Life, by Liane Holliday Willey. Foreword by Tony Attwood. "The focus throughout is on keeping safe, and this extends to travel, social awareness, and general life management. With deeply personal accounts from the author's own experiences, this book doesn't shy away from difficult issues such as coping with bullying, self-harm, depression, and eating disorders."
  
  
• The Aspie Girl’s Guide to Being Safe With Men, by Debi Brown. “This must-read book spells out the unwritten safety rules around dating, relationships and sex, informing and empowering them to live full and independent lives while staying safe.”
  
  I haven't read them, but other women on the Aspergirls sub have recommended them.