Reddit reviews Saving a Low Sex Marriage: A Man's Guide to Dread, Seduction and the Long Game
We found 10 Reddit comments about Saving a Low Sex Marriage: A Man's Guide to Dread, Seduction and the Long Game. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
Here it is. I've read the free section before and it's exactly as bad as you would assume.
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continue to use drugs and continue in my current way of life, or take the blessing He was graciously offering me and give up drugs and marry her – that was His plan for me. I decided it was time to quit, and knew God would help me. I only had 1 joint left (coincidence?), so I smoked it and went to bed high. I woke up the next day sober and got rid of all my drug paraphernalia. I had no cravings anymore; that part of my life was over by the grace of God!
She was very clear with me from the first date that she expected to wait until marriage to have sex, which at that point was my goal as well. Christ had really set me free from many of my old habits over the previous year, and I wanted to honor Him. Her first marriage was to an abusive, alcoholic man. He was the only man she had ever been with. They split up shortly after coming to America after he almost killed her, and it was just her and her son and daughter for 8 years. Her daughter moved out before we got married, and her son was 16 when we got together. He took a liking to me right away when he found out we like the same music. A couple years later God even used me to lead him to salvation!
We were married in 2008, after dating for exactly 40 days. Now I know why it is important and why God wants us to wait until marriage to have sex!!! We have a connection unlike anything I have ever experienced before. A couple weeks after we got married, I threw all my porn in the trash.
Sex between us has always been great. She was pretty shy and reserved when we got married, but I coaxed her out of her shell little by little. She now has no trouble doing all the things I like, and is very enthusiastic sexually. I made it clear before we got married that I would want a lot of sex, and if that was a problem for her she should move on. She said "If you marry me, it will never be a problem." And it never has been. I get as much sex as I want. I have absolutely no desire to cheat anymore since I got married, and have not slept with anyone but my current wife since 2007.
However, shortly after we got married she started giving me a difficult time over the boy I have guardianship for. She knew the situation when we got married and agreed to it, but gave me grief about it later. She tried to tell me that his birth mom needed to step up and raise him instead of us. She got angry because birth mom was not paying her court-ordered child support (this has since changed). She even accused me of sleeping with my stepdaughter, going so far as to pressure me to get a DNA test, which I did just to shut her up. I am NOT the father, but I have chosen to be his Dad and am perfectly happy doing so.
Also, a few months after we were married, my son's soccer coach asked me if I would be interested in doing a devotional for his team before practices. I said yes, and began giving a spiritual message to the kids before each practice. Then I saw a program on Christian tv called The Way of the Master. I was blown away by the strong, direct message and the technique they use to share the gospel! I began watching every week, and soon began to order cd's, dvd's and gospel tracts from them. Since then I have learned to share my faith Biblically using the Law of God. It is powerful, and I am no longer afraid to share my faith with anyone! Soon after that, another soccer coach who attended my church asked if I would include his team in the practice devotional, and I said yes. Through him I was soon offered an opportunity to teach a Bible study at my church to a 65 and older class. I taught that class from 2009-2014.
I developed a great friendship with her older son as he became a man. He had been lifting weights since he was 15, and is ripped. He got married a few years ago, and moved across the country with his wife. His example and encouragement to eat better and be healthier motivated me, and I finally got around to getting braces in 2012. This caused me to give up soda, and I started losing weight. I started intermittent fasting January of 2013, and dropped from 252 to 179 lbs. In 2015 I started working out on an old Bowflex I had bought after we first got married, and gained some muscle and tone.
Then in August of 2015, my elderly parents moved in with us because they needed help with daily care. We had talked about it over the previous year, and we both agreed it was ok and we would take care of them. I made sure to double check, because I didn't want any misunderstandings later. My wife was nice and welcoming when they got here, but she quickly became more argumentative with them and me. It came to a head the second weekend after they arrived when she started on all of us, yelling and arguing and being totally irrational. We actually had to leave the house for a couple hours to keep it from escalating any further. I didn’t speak to her for a few days, and it was during this time that I Googled “How to get my wife to respect me. This led me to the Married Red Pill subreddit, where I created a Reddit login and submitted my first post. Needless to say, I was blown away by the advice I received. I had been reading the sidebar steadily, but the feedback in the comments I received specific to my situation was exactly what I needed at the time.
Since that post, I have slowly changed and molded myself into a strong RPChristian man. I took it slow, at my own pace, and am glad I didn’t try to change everything at once – small, steady changes with the frame to back it up. Frame took the longest for me, and the key to changing things was realizing that it was my emotional reaction to the things my wife said that was causing me the most problems. It took a long time to practice and internalize that my getting upset when my wife challenged me or said something I didn’t agree with stemmed from my subconscious view that SHE was the one in charge. Once I realized that it really was all up to me, and that I could make the decision and deal with the emotional frustration of her disagreeing, things really started changing for the better. This comment was a game changer for me in that respect. Because I was the classic Nice Guy ^^^TM, this part of my transformation took longer than anything else I did.
Now I take charge, showing leadership and making decisions. No more “I dunno, what do you want to do?” I decide. She can persuade me to change my mind if she wants. I have established clear boundaries, and although it took a while, she has come around and I get a lot more respect than I did in the past. I fix stuff around the house, maintain the cars, take responsibility for the bills and all things financial, have successfully completed a number of home-improvement projects around the house. I joined a gym in 2016, and have transformed my body. I had the advantage of working labor jobs for many years, so the muscle base was there, I just needed to shed the fat. My wife and son have since joined the gym as well, and we all go regularly.
These days, we go out into the community and hand out gospel tracts together and witness to people on the street, and both our sons can articulate and share their faith quite will. I minister online to others through Global Media Outreach, and answer questions online. I reach out on Facebook too. My wife reaches out to a very large Eastern European community here in our city. They are largely cultural Muslims, and my wife has an amazing gift of inviting others to our place to share the Gospel, as well as getting invited to others’ houses to share the gospel. The fact that she also speaks 5 different languages is a huge help in that endeavor, and I have had the opportunity to share the Gospel with many of them when they come over to our house on more than a few occasions.
I thank God for saving a wretched sinner like me, and am so thankful that He has chosen to use me for His glory! My life has become a witness to others, showing that even the worst and weakest can be changed by the power of Jesus Christ. In December of this year it will be 20 years since I gave my life to Christ. I could never have imagined 20 years ago that my life would be anything like it is today. My mess has become my message, and I have no problem sharing my past struggles and the change that has followed for the benefit of others. I have a long way to go yet, but God is faithful and I will get there by His grace!
In closing, here is the list of books that I have found to be the most helpful to me on my journey:
As well as almost all the posts on RPChristians, Married Red Pill and AskMRP.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this, I pray you will be blessed and encouraged by it!
And thanks to u/OsmiumZulu, whose post inspired this one.
I would strongly suggests bluepillprofessors 12 levels of dread, on amazon. He's also a mod on MRP. IT's pretty much a roadmap for guys just like you.
It essentially is a branch swing, deliberate and slow enough to ensure you leave with your best foot forward, while still leaving out an olive branch for her to start acting right and get on board.
Chances are though, by the time you get there, you probably won't want her. But here's the problem. ditching her is a good plan, but you're nowhere near ready, and will just fuck it up with the next girl. May as well use her as a sparring partner and get your shit in order. you'll have to stare at the face that took other dicks for fun, but no one said manning up after 20 years would be easy
https://www.amazon.com/Saving-Low-Sex-Marriage-Seduction-ebook/dp/B01BGZO1WK
I guess he won't promote it but i will - consider Blue Pill Professor's podcasts/videocasts:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kaC7KmMmi4M
Or his book:
https://www.amazon.com/Saving-Low-Sex-Marriage-Seduction-ebook/dp/B01BGZO1WK/
But yes, there were some terms I did not find in the sidebar that I misunderstood at first. For example, I totally mis-understood the concept of "The Main Event" because I had only heard it from context. (The main event is when your spouse realizes she is losing control and threatens divorce followed by intense shit testing.)
First penned here
Then refined
Dread
Dread
What dread are you referring to?
> Just divorce the woman and move on if that’s what you want. There’s no need to make her dread you leaving in that case, lol. Just do it.
Dont' let the word fool you, it was an edgy word that got guys interested in 'forbidden knowledge' and not to be taken literally. Divorce your wife when you're not prepared and you'll have the same issues with the next woman. Dread isnn't about making your wife DO ANYTHING, you cannot manipulate people that way.
It's about making you a high value man with options who can then cull the useless from his life, holding an olive branch out of the wife gets her shit together. It's a methodical branch swing, but with an olive branch. I'd look forward to reading about your alternate form of dread that has nothing to do with the above, I'm always up to learn
I know exactly where you're coming from, and that is how I found my way here. Nevertheless, you can probably fix the sexual availability problem with your wife. I found the following book to be really useful. It is not the usual relationship fixing bullshit "do the laundry, buy her flowers, tell her she is beautiful". It tells you how to build her sexual desire for you.
https://www.amazon.com/Saving-Low-Sex-Marriage-Seduction-ebook/dp/B01BGZO1WK
You can get it on kindle from the uk store.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Saving-Low-Sex-Marriage-Seduction-ebook/dp/B01BGZO1WK
Where are you in lifting goals? BF% etc?
>wanted to give her some comfort.
stop this shit right now. you are so far up her ass (frame) that you can see daylight. your entire victim puke reeks of no frame. your entire life revolves around making her happy.
STOP THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW. YOU ARE THE PRIZE NOT HER.
Your top priority should be monk mode right now, reading and lifting. if you dont know what to say/do, STFU. spend time on the boards and read some of the shit that happens when you have no frame.
The sooner you realize and then actualize that YOU are the prize, the sooner she will and you can get back your balls.
NO EXCUSES. READ, LIFT, REPEAT.
Also, you should also pick up Bluepillprofessors 12 steps of dread. If you dont want to buy the in depth breakdown of the 12 steps.
here is a link for the lazy
you have a lot of work ahead of you and you are not even at the anger phase yet.
Here is the mobile version of your link
https://www.amazon.com/Saving-Low-Sex-Marriage-Seduction-ebook/dp/B01BGZO1WK