Reddit Reddit reviews Say Goodbye to Crazy: How to Get Rid of His Crazy Ex and Restore Sanity to Your Life

We found 5 Reddit comments about Say Goodbye to Crazy: How to Get Rid of His Crazy Ex and Restore Sanity to Your Life. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

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Healthy Relationships
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Say Goodbye to Crazy: How to Get Rid of His Crazy Ex and Restore Sanity to Your Life
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5 Reddit comments about Say Goodbye to Crazy: How to Get Rid of His Crazy Ex and Restore Sanity to Your Life:

u/VirginiaStepMonster · 8 pointsr/stepparents

>IMO, and please correct me if I'm wrong. She should not be accepting party requests on his weekend with the kids.

Technically this is correct. However, it depends greatly on what their CO says. I can't think of any reason why it might say that she's allowed to schedule things when they are with their father, but it's possible. Maybe.

All of that said, regardless of what she said about being fine with him moving on, she's clearly not. Maybe check out our resources page. There are several different books listed, Say Goodbye to Crazy is very popular around here when dealing with a high conflict ex.

To be honest, there isn't much YOU personally can do. Your SO has to learn how to properly establish boundaries (which it sounds like he is going to start trying to do) and initially she will resist. She will resist HARD. If she's used to calling the shots, she is not going to appreciate him taking a firm stance with her. Eventually, she'll settle down (one hopes) and your life can continue on a relatively normal course. But for now, expect her to really really push back. Because no matter what she said, she's not fine with him moving on.

u/MzEllaneous · 2 pointsr/stepparents

Girl. I. Feel. You. I have been the topic of discussion for 6+ years. I want to recommend a book to you. This has helped me tremendously!! PLEASE buy this and thank me later.

u/stupidbitch4 · 1 pointr/Divorce

Thank you for the feedback, and that is certainly one way to look at it. I hate her so much... thaaaaaat I just don't care anymore.

After being cheated on, losing everything (house, job, 401k, +forced adult adoption (alimony), psychological abuse, on and on)). Reading countless books on forgiveness and understanding that is for me and peace within...its kinda BS.

I've eaten more shit sandwiches (high road) than Jimmy John's could crank out in a year.

I have a great relationship with my kids.

The point is... the best advice I have ever received is to care less. this helped me a lot. I'm not ready to make nice.

TLDR: I don't care... and make sure you checkout: https://www.amazon.com/Say-Goodbye-Crazy-Restore-Sanity/dp/1514683814/ref=sr_1_7?ie=UTF8&qid=1479920289&sr=8-7&keywords=crazy+ex a lot of good tools here.

u/Halafax · 1 pointr/DeadBedrooms

Have a look at:

http://www.amazon.com/Splitting-Protecting-Borderline-Narcissistic-Personality/dp/1608820254?ie=UTF8&psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=ox_sc_act_title_1&smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER

http://www.amazon.com/Say-Goodbye-Crazy-Restore-Sanity/dp/1514683814?ie=UTF8&psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=ox_sc_act_title_2&smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER

I've never read either of these, I just stumbled across them the other day. I wish had thought about (or knew to look for) such information when I needed it.

I have read:

http://www.amazon.com/Stop-Walking-Eggshells-Borderline-Personality/dp/1572246901/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1463149523&sr=1-1&keywords=stop+walking+on+eggshells

This offers a lot of insight to understanding a person with Borderline Personality Disorder, but doesn't offer any advice about leaving one.

My ex made my life hell, and that actually ramped up during the divorce and afterwards. She left me, but decided to punish me when I didn't miss her (her actual words, years later). Step very carefully.

Before any of that, get yourself some therapy or a support group. If you are actually dealing with a personality disorder, you need to give special thought to your own recovery. Most people who haven't experienced something like it simply can't relate to your experience. Seek out someone who can.

It is entirely possible you're learned to enable bad behavior, and you'll need to give real thought to how to get yourself healthy. I had no idea how "ground down" I was at the end of my marriage. I was barely human, but kept right on paying bills and taking care of things. There wasn't much of anything left under my responsibilities, just a sad grey ghost.

Anyhoo.... Good luck and be careful.

u/stepmomtothestars · 1 pointr/stepparents

We just finished [](Say Goodbye to Crazy: How to Get Rid of His Crazy Ex and Restore Sanity to Your Life https://www.amazon.com/dp/1514683814/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_-M7HxbJ9EE8QT) book and of all the books I've read, this has been the most helpful.

We have two high conflict exes, who actually collaborate together despite my ex being strictly forbidden by our parenting facilitator to have contact with her (her = DH's ex wife). ExH bcc's her on emails, etc. they are ridiculous.

They are also both very wordy, reactive, and angry. A fun combo.

After reading that book we've dropped the last F from BIFF (now it's just Brief Informative and Factual), 3 sentences or less, responding ONLY if necessary and after 24-48 hours has passed since you read the email. Zero sharing of opinion, emotion, anything.

For example, BM mailed a 3 page, single spaced, TYPED, certified letter to DH's work (because God forbid she acknowledge our home exists) letting him know all the reasons why he is a selfish, horrible person, how awful we both are, how lucky the kids are to have her and their stepdad in their lives, (falsely) accused DH of trespassing and violating the decree by not advising her of our summer travel plans. None of that is true or required, but she thinks it is and put it in writing. Somewhere in there she included her summer vacation dates, then went off again about broken promises and how he should give her more than court ordered cs because blah blah blah.

His response? An email back confirming her summer vacation dates. One sentence.

Ever since we've completely ignored 99% of her emails, respond ONLY to the most necessary and ignore her accusations of stalking, harassment, trespassing (by dropping off one of the kids' retainers, btw. Kid came out to the car to get it-didn't even step out of the car), financially negligent we are by not going above and beyond the decree, etc etc. Now she adds how he refuses to coparent by ignoring her attempts to communicate and tells the kids how their dad won't talk to her even though she tries 🙄🙄🙄

Same sad story with my ex.

Don't feed the drama llama.