Reddit reviews Say Goodbye to Crazy: How to Get Rid of His Crazy Ex and Restore Sanity to Your Life
We found 10 Reddit comments about Say Goodbye to Crazy: How to Get Rid of His Crazy Ex and Restore Sanity to Your Life. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.
She is emotionally abusing her kids, your SO and you.
1/ Get a solicitor/lawyer now!
2/ Document EVERYTHING
3/ ONLY the BD should communicate with the BM
4/ All communication should be written - it’s evidence
5/ Send an email explaining the terms that were informally agreed and ask for it to be maintained
6/ Send an email stating that you ONLY want to hear about issues relating to the children, any other emails/texts/phone calls will be seen as harassment
7/ if the harassment continues, call the police. Communication about children is fine, comments and berating you/SO is not
8/ If she calls, voicemail it, no message, no response. The rules I use are email for all normal (not urgent comma), texts for important things that need a response quickly, phone call for absolute emergencies. Give examples in an email to her. Always respond to texts, if the voicemail isn’t urgent then respond with an email
9/ Set boundaries with her, you control the boundaries. She will learn them
10/ Read this book:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B014W0587S/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_kR4CDbGZ9H4K9_nodl
11/ In ALL communication, keep it business like and do NOT stoop to her level, regardless of what she’s saying
12/ If she’s not civil - no response
This approach is slowly working for me. I’ve been through exactly the same thing. It’s got so bad that I’ve filed for residence of my children due to her emotional abuse of the children.
This book is also a great way for new partners to deal with the HC narcissistic ex-wife/girlfriend.
Sounds like an overtly criminal case. I am sincerely sorry for you, and don't quite understand how your SO can possibly be in denial while witnessing something like what you just described. In my case, I had a child with my ex, who also showcases advanced criminal inclinations (referring to my ex, here, not to my little one. These leanings were not immediately obvious. Initially he, too, "appeared normal and healthy"). As the truth about who he was emerged, I resolved to cut him off completely, along with all of his tribe. It was a process, and some people judge me for what I did. But I believe that with certain profiles complete eradication is the only way to go. As we both agree, every case is different.
PS: If you didn't, read this:
https://www.amazon.com/Say-Goodbye-Crazy-Restore-Sanity-ebook/dp/B014W0587S
It deals specifically with new SO of BPD exes SO, i.e. people like you, who became targets by proxy.
Not a bioparent, but my ex-husband is a narcissist. If you let them continue to engage you emotionally, you'll find yourself exhausted. When ending a relationship with one, the rule is no contact - because the number one thing a narcissist needs is attention. If they can't get your positive energy (adoration or praise), then they'll do anything possible to get attention through negative emotions (frustration and anger).
You can go no contact, and it will save you a lot of grief. BD can't, as he has shared custody.
However, he can control how he interacts with BM. Insist on only discussing the matter at hand - custody, child support, etc. Refuse to become emotional in any way. Limit interaction to texts and emails vs. phone calls and face to face conversations.
I suggest the book "Say Goodbye to Crazy." It's an amusing read and has some good advice on how to deal with high conflict people.
What does everyone think about Say Goodbye to Crazy? I've seen it mentioned on the sub a couple times but not read it myself. Helpful? Not helpful?
https://amazon.com/Say-Goodbye-Crazy-Restore-Sanity-ebook/dp/B014W0587S/
I'm not one for peddling Self Help Books - but "Say Goodbye To Crazy" is a good starting place.
https://www.amazon.com/Say-Goodbye-Crazy-Restore-Sanity-ebook/dp/B014W0587S
You being in the middle is going to be hard on your mental health. Just remember that YOUR feelings matter and do what you need to do to alleviate your stress.
Try reading this book w/ DH. Something has to change before it's too late.
There's a great book called say goodbye to crazy. You are who they wrote the book for.
https://www.amazon.ca/Say-Goodbye-Crazy-Restore-Sanity-ebook/dp/B014W0587S
She had very good day. She proved herself she still has control over her lousy beta ex. This is a "crazy" trait. Read this: https://www.amazon.com/Say-Goodbye-Crazy-Restore-Sanity-ebook/dp/B014W0587S
He had a bad day. His day was so bad, he came over whining on the internet. And, I made his day even worse (unless this fucking piece of weaksauce shit won't bother to read the comments).
GTFO
If you aren't married and have no kids; cut ALL communication That includes changing your phone number, blocking her on ALL social media, and filtering her emails to be deleted. If she changes her email or social media names and attempts contact DO NOT READ or INTERACT with her in ANY way. If you have mutual friends be VERY careful in giving your number to them (I suggest not even doing it.) You may be surprised to discover that mutual friends have seen the BPD abuse and will be very understanding.
I was married and had a child with my BPD ex of 15 years. I am now almost 2 years out and my life is 1000x better but I still have issues to this day mainly due to the fact of having a child with her. It took over a year for her to get the message after I left.
This book is a MUST for you to read as it saved my life/sanity. (Have a friend buy it if she has access to your email or Amazon account)
Say Goodbye to Crazy: How to Get Rid of His Crazy Ex and Restore Sanity to Your Life
by Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, Paul Elam
https://www.amazon.com/Say-Goodbye-Crazy-Restore-Sanity-ebook/dp/B014W0587S
This is a YouTube series done by the writers of the book...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2KyHtFso0E&list=PLGL4PxshBNxBnIihTluJrJgvhbTQWAOAk
Also, you need watch Terrance Popp, he touches on a lot of things regarding women in a humorous but serious way. Go and look through all of his videos for the ones that pertain to your situation.
https://www.youtube.com/user/redonkulaspopp/videos
If you have a child with here... I can not begin to explain the torture and heartache you will go through... but based on what your original post says you don't seem to have one KEEP IT THAT WAY and GET OUT!!!!
Added comments...
In the end it is up to you to get out she will NOT let you go until she has another to replace you and then will attempt to get you back when that fails (rinse and repeat). Believe it or not you are addicted to "CRAZY" (BPD woman) and only YOU can kick that addiction.