Reddit Reddit reviews Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy, 2nd Edition

We found 25 Reddit comments about Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy, 2nd Edition. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

Books
Self-Help
Personal Transformation Self-Help
Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy, 2nd Edition
Check price on Amazon

25 Reddit comments about Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy, 2nd Edition:

u/GodoftheStorms · 9 pointsr/wholesomememes

There’s a therapy based on this idea called Internal Family Systems. It’s very helpful for anyone who has had interpersonal trauma or had a rough childhood. A good book on it that you can use to practice it yourself is Self-Therapy by Jay Earley.

u/YourFriendMaryGrace · 9 pointsr/Soulnexus

This is something I've been thinking about too! I've been reading this book about the "Internal Family Systems" method of therapy, and it's so encouraging. The idea is basically that our even our "bad" and "self destructive" parts are just pieces of self doing the best they can for us, because (however misguided their efforts may be) they are just trying to protect a wounded part of self.

I used to feel bad about how frustrated and panicked I'd get when my husband was telling me about something complex. I knew cognitively that he was just trying to share some interesting thing he learned, but I couldn't stop the amygdala reactions. Eventually I realized that I was reacting this way because of my experiences as an ADHD child and teen, not being able to pay attention and feeling the intense embarrassment of not "getting it" like the other kids. So my feelings of anger and fear about these conversations weren't bad, they were just screaming "Get out!" to try and protect me from feeling embarrassed again. Realizing that has helped me stop guilting myself for the feelings, and instead I think to myself "Thank you, frustration and anxiety, for trying to keep me from reliving embarrassing situations. But I'm okay! I'm safe, it only feels unsafe."

That's just one example of many I could share, as I am something of a walking ball of triggers lol. It's been hugely helpful for me in my healing 💕🤗

Edit: I've also realized that by soothing these "dark" reactions, I'm able to stay in the moment and let my wounded selves experience safety. Now when my husband wants to tell me something complex, I find that I can listen and learn just fine, which is healing in itself.

u/[deleted] · 8 pointsr/CPTSD

I have a good therapist that has helped me a lot, but a lot of my healing work has been primarily self-motivated and self-learned. Therapy is one way to give you a framework to heal yourself, but there are other frameworks out there that you can use to heal yourself as well.

I would recommend this book (Self Therapy by Jay Earley) as a place to get started.

u/gotja · 8 pointsr/CPTSD

Hah! This just came up for me! I'm just reading the IFS book Self Therapy by Jay Earley and recently got the workbook (written by Earley's wife) u/wherewolfish mentioned.

Basically the resistance and criticism comes from a Protector part. I've gotten as far as ch. 2, so not far yet. But there are Exiled parts, the parts that were wounded in childhood; and Protector parts, the parts that protect the exiles.

The Protector parts are basically the behaviors you take on in a flashback, they tend to act on an unconscious level and protect you from feeling pain when you do something that reminds you, also often unconsciously, of a past.

For example someone once told me a story about how their sister could not be around open flames. If someone lit a match, she'd feel profoundly anxious. If someone lit a fire or stove, she would leave the room. Often she had excuses without really being consciously aware of her anxiety around flames. Finally it came up that when she was really little the house caught on fire. Her mom ran into their bedroom and grabbed her older sister, leaving her, the younger sister, in her crib, while the house literally in smoke and flames. Once her mother got the older sister to safety she ran back and got her. But for that time she was left as an infant, abandoned. I think when she realized this she finally was able to light a match and she burst into tears.

The resistance is usually a protector, doing these things likely brings something up for you. Also the Inner Critic, where you beat yourself up, is often also a protector. Both protectors are doing something. One is preventing you from being hurt if you take action, the other is trying to prevent you from being hurt by not taking action. They're like protector siblings and may be protecting the same or different exiles.

Basically the path out is using curiousity and conpassion, being emapthetic to those parts, which likely developed in childhood and have a logic that comes from that. Kids develop solutions to survive as best they can from their developing understanding of the world. These parts, both protectors and exiles tend to be frozen in time and don't have access to adult logic. You will have to 'interact' with them to bring them up to date, and it may involve being patient and compassionate as you would be with a child, or someone learning something conpletely new. Basically you root why you're resisting and why you're criticizing yourself, and later find out what the exile is about and comfort them. Once the exile is safe the protectors no longer have to protect them. The IFS books discuss the process in more detail. I don't know it well enough yet to describe it.

u/bubblebubbler5797 · 7 pointsr/mdmatherapy

I found the following book to be really useful on integration; almost the entirety of the last third of the book is dedicated to integration.

Another reddit user on this forum, 'liquidrome' has made some interesting points about integration; namely the idea that in his view one of the most potent methods of integration is to 'go for a long walk in a forest, around a lake, and to listen to the same music playlist I used for the session. This evokes the material from the session again, and integrates it into normal waking consciousness. Often this walk will also bring up more feelings and continue the healing process — sometimes more powerfully than the session itself.' Here's a [link] (https://www.reddit.com/r/mdmatherapy/comments/d1d861/getting_worse_after_taking_mdma/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share) to one of his comments on a post where he explains this in a little more detail (it's his second comment on the post) . I've read a few of his posts and comments and whilst I may disagree with some of his views on maps, he has undergone 100s of psychedelic therapy sessions so I personally value his opinion highly in this area even though it doesn't come from a book. I personally haven't tried this method yet and as I haven't had a session since I came across it but I intend to try it following my next session.

Here are a couple of other books I've found super useful in general for psychedelic therapy.
 They also talk about integration, although integration isn't a main focus:

[Psychedelic psychotherapy] (https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0963009656/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_t1_1jUDDbX3B0XE3) - I made a post about it here. Honestly one of the most useful books I've read in my life. It's very much a practical guide to me on to how use psychedelics to heal from trauma, rather than many other books in the arena that appear to focus on why psydhclics can heal from trauma.

Internal family systems - I'm reading this book at the moment, and being someone who doesn't have a background in psychology its been super useful so far for understanding my mental landscapes, in a way that a layman like me can understand. This in turn I feel will help me to navigate my defences and other elements and psychological concepts that come up in my experience, and thus help me to heal efficiently and integrate effectively.

Hope something in this post is of help. Good luck on your healing journey :)

u/KittenCuddler3000 · 7 pointsr/CPTSD

The Derek Scott videos get a huge huge vote from me! I recommend starting this playlist of several 20-minute-ish videos he made called IFS For Therapists.

Yes the name sounds sort of confusing, cause we're not therapists, but it's the best video description of IFS I have found.

Also Jay Earley is a therapist who champions the idea that IFS should be done on your own. He believes that 1) this will give many, many more people access to help and 2) the IFS process is simple and formulaic enough that pretty much anyone can do it without a professional. He wrote Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy which is specifically designed to do on your own.

For full disclosure, I haven't read the book yet, but I probably will if I ever hit a wall. Even my therapist agrees that she doesn't need to help me with IFS, though she supports me doing it and is always happy to hear about my findings.

u/_Hannah_Banana · 6 pointsr/CPTSD

There are a couple of really helpful books out there that I can link you when I'm home and not on mobile.

One thing that I think is helpful is to pay attention to parts in the moment when they are activated and you notice their presence. You can take a moment to notice them, internally say hello, and ask them what their role or job is.

Another way to find them is to think of a situation that activates a lot of parts, called a trailhead, and then think about what parts you've noticed tend to show up during that sort of situation.

Remember in IFS you learn about parts by communicating with them, not by intellectualizing about them. So always be sure to be asking the part directly. There are lots of good questions you can ask to learn more about your parts.

Edit: I'm reading Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS and using Self-Therapy Workbook: An Exercise Book For The IFS Process. If you get the digital editions of both, it's under $20 for the pair. I've found them really helpful for filling in between therapy sessions and preparing for therapy.

u/kromkonto69 · 6 pointsr/slatestarcodex

I'd recommend the book Self-therapy. It's an accessible introduction to Internal Family Systems Therapy. It's come up a few times in the rationality community - in particular in this post by Kaj Sotala.

u/kaj_sotala · 4 pointsr/slatestarcodex

Glad you found it useful!

Literally most important is a tough question. A few years back, I made a list of ones that felt most influential to me: https://kajsotala.fi/2017/05/books-that-have-had-the-biggest-impact-on-my-lifethought/, though that doesn't necessarily make them important for other people to read.

Books that would also go on that list if I were to write it now would be Transform Your Self, Self-Therapy, and of course Unlocking the Emotional Brain.

u/catnipfarts · 4 pointsr/CPTSD

Sure. EMDR is a PTSD treatment. It works by providing alternating stimulation to both sides of the brain, either through alternating eye movement or a buzzing stimulation through your hands, while you revisit a traumatic memory. Why it works is still a bit of a mystery but for me it has the double effect of 1. dimming the intensity of the traumatic memory while you work on it, and 2. opening up the non-rational parts of your brain to process through the trauma.

Part of my CPTSD is that I am too left brained and don't have much connection with my emotions or body. EMDR allows me to connect with those parts of my brain so I can work with the trauma that is 'stuck' in the places that I normally cannot access.

IFS stands for internal family systems or 'parts' therapy. People with CPTSD typically have a less solidifed ego that is split into more disparate parts that play overdeveloped protector roles. IFS works with these individual parts to help identify them and change their roles to improve behaviors and outcomes.

Here is a typical IFS session. If that interests you, I strongly recommend the Self Therapy book to look into doing IFS work at home. It's pretty straightforward and can be really powerful.

I personally like the combination of EMDR and IFS. I feel like EMDR heals the trauma and IFS is good for rebuilding your ego/identity once that trauma is lessened. They work hand in hand.

u/furixx · 4 pointsr/CPTSD

geez! that's some negative self talk you have there. are you in therapy at all? if not, you should be! if you can't afford actual therapy try an online program like MoodGym, or self help books like this one maybe. also, as someone who is very introverted/reclusive, i totally get the inability to function in a (presumably open plan) office space. my advice is to change jobs. might take awhile to work it out, but it can be done- look for remote jobs on a (fee-based but worth it) site like Virtual Vocations. alternatively, propose that you work from home one day a week to start, doing video calls if you need to and generally kicking ass... until you can slowly transition to more days of the week or all of them remote (i work 100% remote, and can say that this is possible as well).

u/Hipsterbody · 3 pointsr/mdmatherapy

think socratic questioning about negative beliefs is effective while on a mdma peak.

I studied internal family systems therapy before taking MDMA and according to it, there is sub personality within you which already know how to heal the other parts (by listening to their pain and comforting them and telling the other parts who are hiding the pain of truamatised parts by behaving disfuntionally, that now the pain is gone and you dont have to have disfunctional behaviour anymore)

My hypothesis is that If you think about where you wanna end up in life, all the parts which are opposed to your ideal situation will come up and their concerns will be resolved automatically, while on MDMA

Studying Internal Family systems , bioengergetics will help maximise the session .

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7f92fscxUQ&t=1s

https://www.amazon.com/Self-Therapy-Step-Step-Cutting-Edge-Psychotherapy/dp/0984392777

u/dudeOnMission · 3 pointsr/Meditation

Post 1 of 2:

Thanks for your post.

​

I too experienced some less than ideal side-effects from meditation (many actually, over the years), some of which have a similar feel to what you're describing. When I took the 10-day Goenka/Vipassana course, I was told that if adverse effects started, I should stop meditating. So I think it's great that you stopped meditating. That's a great first step.

​

It's impressive to me that you haven't reverted back to your original state (as in, it makes an impression on me; not that I think it's good). You must have had some very powerful meditations (and I see that you referenced that in some of your reply posts). So the good news is that you have some mana, or concentration power, that when used wisely will be a strong tool for you.

​

Also, this does not sound like the dark night of the soul, in which circumstance you would be advised to simply keep going. The dark night of the soul, as its classically understood, is much more understood to the subject. That is, the person experiencing the dark night is aware of the fact that life has lost meaning for them, and understands their negative emotional state to be a result of this.

​

What you're pointing to, anhedonia, aphantasia, poor long-term memory, stillness in your mind, dullness, etc. These are different symptoms, and they require a different approach.

​

I don't know what will work for you. But I can tell you some of the things that have worked for me and that have been advised to me. I can also give you my perspective on what's most likely going on. I'm (36M) a life-long off-and-on meditator, with lots of different experiences from the very intense to the very mundane.

​

What's Going On?

It appears that you've effectively suppressed various levels of mental and emotional activity. In your intensive samatha and vipassana sits, you've effectively QUIETED your mind, allowing you to hit very deep levels of absorption. You mentioned that you feel like you may have been into one of the Jhanas, or stages of absorption. That's neat. It shows great mental strength and power and capability.

​

What Is The Solution?

I believe you need to unwind it, to start *inviting* chatter back into your mind. It seems like you've already tried to do this, through simply not meditating. I'll list some other ways that have been recommended to me, what's worked for me, and finally, what my gut instinct tells me might work best for you in this situation.

​

At the basic level, you are looking for a major state shift, one which will allow that "spark" of energy back into your mind, and which will remove the dullness.

​

"Standard" Recommendations From Meditation Teachers:

Eat meat

Take cold showers

Exercise vigourusly

Masturbate to the point of orgasm

​

Things That Have Worked For Me:

Got married to someone who didn't believe in personal growth and eschewed all things spiritual for 10 years, focusing on career and fun, on "samsaric pleasures", on thrill sports, etc. Eventually, my thirst for meaning returned however...

Some Qigong, especially the still poses held for a long time can help to shift an undesirable state.

Some breath-work, including breath-of-fire, 4-7-8 breathing, etc

​

"Morning Pages" journaling, to kick start the creativity (this may be all you need to start getting creativity back...)

​

Ketamine treatment. Just started this recently, and Wow! It's like a physical re-set for your mental and emotional pathways.

​

Internal Family Systems therapy work. This book is a great starting place for one of the most powerful therapy systems out there, which you can do with a practitioner, a skilled friend, or even with yourself.

​

Somatic Experiencing therapy work, which is best done with a skilled practitioiner.

u/NervousGuidance · 2 pointsr/InternalFamilySystems

I'd recommend "Self-Therapy" by Jay Earley. It's written to be very accessible and Jay is a great writer who has dedicated his career to IFS.

Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy, 2nd Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/0984392777/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_AdJOCbPSJ1R2J

u/brightemptyspace · 2 pointsr/CPTSD

Before I had access to EMDR therapy, I did some work with the book Self-Therapy by Jay Earley. It uses the Family Systems Therapy approach, and I found it really helpful. It's somewhat difficult to do, and I didn't get through the whole book, but I was really motivated and desperate and couldn't get into therapy, I think the book and the IFS approach is really revolutionary. It involves being curious and compassionate towards our damaged parts, and I really responded to it. Good luck.

u/Infp-pisces · 2 pointsr/CPTSD

> . I just feel like child, I’m lonely (despite the people), negative beliefs, lack of full self love, and hopelessness.

Have you looked into Internal Family Systems theory ? Sounds like you get overwhelmed by your fragmented parts. In case you haven't, give it a try.

Jay Earley's book is highly recommended. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0984392777/ref=cm_sw_r_other_apa_i_By0pDbVZG1B5K

And here's a recent post on the topic.
https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD/comments/cjbw9u/parts/

If you're already in treatment. Psychoeducation seems to be the only thing you can do. Learn, gain awareness and tackle your issues one by one.

u/gatami · 1 pointr/raisedbynarcissists

My therapist works with the method also described in this book https://www.amazon.com/Self-Therapy-Step-Step-Cutting-Edge-Psychotherapy/dp/0984392777/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=15U7E1FOU8Y2U&keywords=self+therapy+jay+earley&qid=1554523698&s=gateway&sprefix=self+th&sr=8-1

For me it is really helpful, especially because it focuses on solution and not on the problems.

Give it a try, perhaps the book is even enough for you, or then you know what kind of therapist can help you. And in the worst case you spent 17$ for nothing.

It took me 42 years to realise, that I can feel better. And seeing some success is a huge motivation for me to continue.
I have half of my life behind me, so at least I want to have the second half of my life a good life. I f...ing deserve it. And so do you, I hope you reach this goal faster than I did.

u/LarryBills · 1 pointr/Buddhism

Per my other comment, you might want to check out Jay Early's self directed book on IFS

u/dakhandae · 1 pointr/mdmatherapy

Another route to explore is Internal Family Systems. It’s a form of therapy that you can do on yourself or with a partner. I’ve found it’s almost as powerful as MDMA therapy if you put the time in to do it. And together with MDMA and other medicines I’ve seen a synergistic effect.

The book linked below is an excellent place to start. Even after reading the first chapter or two you should be able to start using it. (Just read the reviews if you need to get yourself excited!). Wishing you and your partner the best of luck. You’ve got this!

Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy, 2nd Edition https://www.amazon.com/dp/0984392777/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_HT1YDbYWK2YFG

u/overcomingmyobstacle · 1 pointr/raisedbynarcissists

You're absolutely welcome. I would recommend Self Therapy by Jay Earley. There is also a work book you can do! I'd highly recommend YNAB (You Need a Budget) which is a book and budgeting software. I'm 23 and going through this, if I was 18, I'd do things so differently, and it would start with self knowledge (through the self therapy book) and financial responsibility.


I want to make a point here: I had $10,000+ saved up by the time I was 19. I thought of myself as responsible, which I was at the time, I didn't eat out much, didn't buy many things I didn't need, and so forth. But because I lacked the self knowledge (if you don't know yourself, you can make some stupid decisions like buying things for social status, moving out because you are full of more rage than you are full of planning, etc.) and because I didn't know how to make a budget, I shot myself in the foot.


Do you think it would be possible to order those books (assuming you want them)? I'd be worried about your parents opening the packages. However, Amazon lets you order books to a location that isn't your address (basically they are lockers where your package is delivered, usually somewhere safe like outside a Bank)


I don't know to what extent your parents try to control you, examine your purchases, etc. but do you think you could get access to books like those (again doesn't have to be those specifically) so that you can help yourself heal?

u/mad_learning_curves · 1 pointr/CPTSD

I'm doing IFS therapy. Boy does it help. Internal Family Systems!

You can find an IFS therapist and do sessions with them via skype for about $150/session, many will do the first one pro bono, just to teach the skills. Also you can learn this method on your own and do it for yourself: Self Therapy

That's my method and its changing things for me.

I think its really, really important to not beat yourself up over "inability to function in the world". I've beaten myself up because I can't get a girlfriend, can't keep a social circle, can't have fun at parties... it was not productive at all.

u/needathneed · 1 pointr/relationship_advice

Your quote about my logic brain
makes me think about Internal Family Systems- It's a theory that we have several often conflicting opinions about a situation (you want love, yet fear it) and how we can create harmony amongst the conflict. Sounds hokey but I have done it and have found incredible benefit from it, and even talked my partner into doing it! It's a great accessable book that you can do at your own pace, by yourself or with a friend. Check it out!
source- I work in the mental health field, and am very serious about maintaining my own mental health so I don't negatively affect others.

u/lappath · 1 pointr/Anarcho_Capitalism

Self-Therapy by Jay Earley