Reddit reviews Self-Therapy Workbook: An Exercise Book For The IFS Process

There are a couple of really helpful books out there that I can link you when I'm home and not on mobile.

One thing that I think is helpful is to pay attention to parts in the moment when they are activated and you notice their presence. You can take a moment to notice them, internally say hello, and ask them what their role or job is.

Another way to find them is to think of a situation that activates a lot of parts, called a trailhead, and then think about what parts you've noticed tend to show up during that sort of situation.

Remember in IFS you learn about parts by communicating with them, not by intellectualizing about them. So always be sure to be asking the part directly. There are lots of good questions you can ask to learn more about your parts.

Edit: I'm reading Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS and using Self-Therapy Workbook: An Exercise Book For The IFS Process. If you get the digital editions of both, it's under $20 for the pair. I've found them really helpful for filling in between therapy sessions and preparing for therapy.

In most cases, a person's psyche has had to work very hard to deal with trauma and has used coping mechanisms that might seem counterproductive.

They'll likely get more counterproductive as a person gets older, which is what sends them looking for ways to fix these issues. But very often that person is going to meet with resistance as they attempt to do this.

And I think it's because they were adopted in the first place to protect you. A part of you still thinks they're necessary, and will do anything it can to keep them in place.

I'm struggling with this myself. If you haven't looked into IFS (internal family systems) parts work, I'd recommend it. There's a great workbook online for it that you might find really handy.

https://www.amazon.com/Self-Therapy-Workbook-Exercise-Book-Process/dp/0984392742

https://www.amazon.com/Self-Therapy-Workbook-Exercise-Book-Process/dp/0984392742/ref=asc_df_0984392742_nodl/

You're absolutely welcome. I would recommend Self Therapy by Jay Earley. There is also a work book you can do! I'd highly recommend YNAB (You Need a Budget) which is a book and budgeting software. I'm 23 and going through this, if I was 18, I'd do things so differently, and it would start with self knowledge (through the self therapy book) and financial responsibility.


I want to make a point here: I had $10,000+ saved up by the time I was 19. I thought of myself as responsible, which I was at the time, I didn't eat out much, didn't buy many things I didn't need, and so forth. But because I lacked the self knowledge (if you don't know yourself, you can make some stupid decisions like buying things for social status, moving out because you are full of more rage than you are full of planning, etc.) and because I didn't know how to make a budget, I shot myself in the foot.


Do you think it would be possible to order those books (assuming you want them)? I'd be worried about your parents opening the packages. However, Amazon lets you order books to a location that isn't your address (basically they are lockers where your package is delivered, usually somewhere safe like outside a Bank)


I don't know to what extent your parents try to control you, examine your purchases, etc. but do you think you could get access to books like those (again doesn't have to be those specifically) so that you can help yourself heal?