Reddit reviews Spontaneous Happiness: A New Path to Emotional Well-Being

>How do I continuously be happy and keep up a good mood daily?

Andrew Weil just wrote a book and in it he talks about how we can't expect to be happy every day all the time. Basic contentment is what I work for, and it happens as I just appreciate what I have. Since I hike a lot, I appreciate being home with running water, shelter, and lots of things many take for granted. Appreciation of what we have (food, shelter, medicine, health, etc), over and over again, can bring a lot of contentment.

>How can I stop judging people, and myself?

Notice the difference between judgement and discernment. We always have discernment, as in, "do I want an apple or an orange." It's not bad, it's just the way we make decisions. If you are constantly seeing the bad in yourself, start to look for the good: kindness, humor, awareness, intelligence, truthfulness, gratitude, etc.

We always have discernment, it's necessary, and self-judgement diminishes when we actively look for the positive in ourselves as well as others. We're all a mixed bag, no one is perfect.

>How can I not be jealous?

Learn to be happy for another's happiness. The jealousy may be strong at first, but realize there is no limit to happiness, it's like air. The possibilities are as open as your creativity. So, if you are jealous of your friend with a girl, be happy for him. When your friends are doing better, just be happy for them.

After years of working on jealousy, I've found I really appreciate my life and what I've got. It's weird, but I don't want to be in anyone else's shoes. My life, as boring as it may be (though it's had lots of excitement, just not by movie-worthy standards), I wouldn't trade it for anything.

>For some more experienced introverts, how did you handle high-school, and how did it turn out for you?

In high school, back in the dark ages of the late 1970s, I enjoyed my classes and teachers, but never really related to my peers. Within a year of graduating I was no longer in touch with any of them, and I don't regret it. They are and were fine people, I just never really clicked with them. I never go to any reunions. Looking back, it was a rather dysfunctional time for me on many levels. When I got to college I found people who had similar interests, was relatively social, and I'm still in touch with several friends from that time.

>Are these all skills that I can acquire with practice or is there something I'm missing?

There are definitely social skills I practiced when I was in my 40s with a therapist and some close friends, but they were not things I could have done on my own. You could do this sort of thing, but it requires another person. Or, if you're interested in "How to make friends" I suspect there are books out there. For me, I had to work on some listening skills as well as validating skills, as well as some other fine points.

I have no immediate advice about hanging out with friends or not. I'd say stay true to yourself. If it's not working with friends at this time, it's just not working. You're all going through a lot of changes, year to year. That settles as you get older, and the changes that do happen are less noticeable outside, but very worthwhile inside.