Reddit Reddit reviews The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook

We found 82 Reddit comments about The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. Here are the top ones, ranked by their Reddit score.

Anxieties & Phobias
The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook
The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook
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82 Reddit comments about The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook:

u/raineee · 35 pointsr/relationships

You sound like me. I grew up similarly abused and also have anxiety and self esteem issues.
He's being insensitive for sure (maybe a bit ignorant), especially after you told him that you were ready to see a therapist (great idea because that's what I did and I'm a lot better now). I don't even know why he said that when you said you were going to see a therapist, it kind of makes me mad that he did when you were actively trying to fix yourself. My boyfriend was happy that I saw one and supported me.

But he might not be aware that people with anxiety issues do not simply just get over it, it's a long process of acceptance. A lot of people think that way about anxiety so I don't really think you should blame him for that.
So you should definitely communicate to him that this is a part of you that you are trying to fix and as a boyfriend he should be supportive in your decision, and that you are hurt by him telling you to get over it. Though he hasn't talked to you, just be the bigger person and explain yourself, because he may not fully understand.

BTW you are not WORTHLESS. You deserve to feel good about yourself, I used to think exactly like you, and it's just circular thinking. Therapy is the way to go. Fantastic book if you would like to get started on your way to loving yourself: Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. If you need anyone to talk to you can PM me. I want to help because I know how it felt and still feels.

u/swight74 · 28 pointsr/funny

Oh my god it's not only me!

For people currently in this situation: Going back is never as bad as it seems and it feels so good to get back on track. You can do it, don't think about it just go!

Letting go of the shame you feel for "being weak" is a big part of this (at least for me).
And fuck drugs for this problem, either get a good doc that specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, or find this book that my doc gave to me:

CBT has worked better than any drug and has a the best overall success rate for dealing with Anxiety (around 90%).

u/UnderstandingMyself · 26 pointsr/happy

What I found most helpful were the mental and physical practices I learned for getting through the panic attack.

You have to learn that you will be ok once the panic attack passes. During the attack you have to control your breathing.

Ask yourself "what's the worst that can happen", and then you have to answer that question. Most people ask the question and stop there. That is not effective. Take the time to form a sentence with the possible outcomes. Write them down. Be silly. Say them out loud if you can. It brings to light exactly what you are afraid of and makes it much more manageable.

If you can't get a counselor either for financial or other reasons I recommend this book very strongly:

You have to commit to it and follow the exercises. For example proper breathing is far more effective than you would think. I feel the need to repeat that. Learn to breathe deeply during the panic attack and you will have much more control.

I've fought with anxiety for as long as I can remember. It wasn't long ago that I wouldn't leave the house to buy groceries. I would have a panic attack ordering pizza. These are not exaggerations. Good luck and let me know if there's anything I can offer.

u/SansaScully · 13 pointsr/relationships

I'm 28 now and doing well, but I had serious panic disorder when I was around your age. I have always been an anxious person, especially socially... I mean, even when I was a toddler I was worrying about things and getting anxious in groups. When I was around 16 I started getting panic attacks almost daily, mostly when I was at school. I know exactly what you mean about being too scared to go back to class during/after one - I was always a good student but after the panic attacks started I would ditch school to avoid those situations. I even literally walked out of class and drove home. Panic attacks are serious and they're NOT "normal nerves" when you're having them that frequently.

I think, as others have suggested, the best course of action is to talk to a trusted teacher or counselor at school about what's happening. If you have a doctor that you can see that might be helpful too. Personally, I saw my primary care doctor about the panic attacks and found out I have hypothyroidism, which either caused them initially or made them worse. Also, the doctor, teacher or counselor should be able to get you help or talk to your parents and convince them that what's happening isn't normal.

There are also other resources you can use on your own (although I think a therapist/counselor is the best course of action right now). These were all recommended to me by my therapist: has free online cognitive behavioral therapy tools for panic

Hope and Help for Your Nerves is a book by Claire Weekes that helped me a lot

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook

If you can't get the books, I have both and can mail them to you for free if you'd like, just PM me. I hope everything gets better for you soon. I know it's REALLY tough to deal with panic and anxiety but it can get better. If you want to talk about it or have any questions you can PM me as well.

u/DeuceBuggalo · 12 pointsr/getdisciplined

Hey monkeyfett, I'm sorry to hear about how bad you are feeling. What I found most helpful and motivating was The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook (apologies for the mobile link). It looks as though there is also a Depression version if you think that's more appropriate to your situation. The two disorders can be similar and coexisting.

This workbook is written in a comforting and informative style and filled with helpful, nurturing information. It puts the power in your hands by giving you information to understand yourself and your condition and gives you tools to decide what's the best way to proceed for yourself.

It was awesome because you can take it at your own pace, and it is available 24/7 unlike a doctor or specialized program. They are extremely helpful if you haven't found the right program or doctor yet. There is a wealth of information that is well organized into a system, that helps you make up an action plan and tackle the different parts f this complex problem.

I can't recommend these workbooks enough, mine quite literally saved my life. Please feel free to reply or PM with any questions or if you want to talk.

u/kimininegaiwo · 12 pointsr/AskWomen

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook helped me with my anxiety.

It's not exactly a self-help book, but The Mind Illuminated has helped me learn more about meditation and mindfulness.

u/[deleted] · 8 pointsr/TwoXChromosomes

I have panic disorder, diagnosed about ten years ago. Tbh the only thing that's worked for me is medication (SSRIs - Prozac right now but I've also used Lexapro). I tried to quit medication because I hadn't had an attack in years, and my anxiety came back with a vengeance so I've just accepted that I will probably take medication for the rest of my life. It's better than feeling anxious all the time.

I really think you should see a professional. I have a psychiatrist but I also saw a psychologist who helped me with relaxation techniques. He also recommended these books, which I found helpful:

If you have any questions or anything feel free to message me anytime :)

u/Lalaith · 7 pointsr/relationship_advice

What you're describing as "introversion" is actually social anxiety disorder. Introversion refers more to a person's innate social tendencies and their threshold for social interaction. Plenty of introverts enjoy socializing with people, they just recharge through time spent alone.

The good news is that SAD is very treatable. Therapy is the best solution, but since you can't afford it I recommend you either look for a sliding scale mental health clinic in your area (the one I work at gives rates of $15 per session for students) or go to a bookstore and drop about $25 on a book like this.

u/beesyrup · 6 pointsr/raisedbynarcissists

This reminds me of my own catastrophizing. My anxiety goes to this level sometimes. Have you ever been involved with cognitive behavioral or rational emotive therapy techniques? There are a lot of self help books on both, and therapists who also practice both. I use this workbook every day and would probably be dead without it. (Not to be catastrophizing or anything)

u/eatyourspinach · 6 pointsr/Anxiety
  1. Hang-out sessions with no official end time (like all-day events). I like to know when I will get to go home, and I'm a little awkward about exiting social situations.
  2. Eating around people who are not my immediate family. I do it anyway, but it's very uncomfortable physically and emotionally.
  3. Parties with loud music and lots of people.
  4. Making plans with new friends.

    I was recommended this book by a relative's therapist, and am planning to buy it this weekend:
u/SIR_ROBIN_RAN_AWAY · 5 pointsr/MadeMeSmile

Try the Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. I used it when I couldn't afford a therapist and was super useful. It helped my anxiety to be able to actually do something about it by going through the workbook and the exercises. It's easily been five years since I got it and I still use some techniques I learned.

Here's a link:

Edit: PM me if you have any questions or need advice. I've been dealing with anxiety for over a decade.

u/jargoone · 4 pointsr/tifu

Based on your account of this situation, it sounds like you might be a very anxious person. I can relate because I have been the same way in the past, but seriously, you need to get a grip on it. Not just for this relationship, but for your own mental well-being. You aren't doing it consciously, but you are torturing yourself needlessly.

Consider therapy - it might be free since you seem to be in college. At the very least, buy this book: The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. It will give you some insight on why you feel how you feel, and some ways to keep it in check.

Good luck.

u/SoloHarveyBirdman · 4 pointsr/bjj

Good for you man. Anxiety is no joke.

FWIW, I know someone who dealt with bad anxiety for years, and this book (and a WHOLE lot of therapy) helped them tremendously.

Keep fighting the good fight and don't let anxiety rule your life. It definitely does get better!

u/undead_carrot · 4 pointsr/AskWomen

I use one for PTSD. This one would be an anxiety one, for example. Mobile, linking sucks. Basically just Google the thing you are struggling with + workbook and you'll get a lot of options.

Just like with a therapist, you should be choosy about the ones you use but I have had good luck with mine.

u/nezumipi · 4 pointsr/autism

It sounds like your main problem with speaking is anxiety, as well as anger and frustration when you can't get your words out. If you talk to yourself in private, are you able to do so without problem? That's a strong sign that what you're experiencing is more anxiety-related than an actual deficit in your language skills. (For what it's worth, your post was clear and well-written.)

Social anxiety or anxiety around speaking is very treatable. Certain medications (mostly SSRI antidepressants) are helpful. There is also a psychotherapy technique called cognitive behavior therapy which is very effective. The cognitive part is when the therapist tries to help you change your thoughts from unhelpful ones ("They think I'm stupid.") to more helpful ones ("I'm just ordering a pizza. Who cares what they think?"). The behavior part is where you practice speaking to people even though it makes you anxious. This helps you get over your anxiety.

If you want to try CBT, you'd usually find a talk therapist, like a psychologist to walk you through it. However, you can learn and try many of the techniques on your own. Here's a webpage that gives a good overview. Here's a book which covers teaches you to apply CBT to yourself.

u/copy-kun · 4 pointsr/japancirclejerk


My simple guide on how to meet a girl on Tinder.

> The purpose of this guide is to get her on the phone so when you plan the meetup she feels much more comfortable and is less likely to flake. I don't think this guide is anything special but it clearly shows that texting is not optimal for building a ton of comfort.
> Your biggest enemy on Tinder is our attention spans. I've talked to many attractive girls on Tinder but their attention spans are razor thin and can easily be swept away by someone else. I'm guilty of doing this to girls as well. Your second biggest enemy as a male is your neediness. Seeming too thirsty or too impatient can be an immediate rejection. I believe showing patience shows insane abundance mentality. So anyway here's how I go about it.
> 1. Talk to your match, have fun
> I usually complement something I like about them and joke around. After some banter ask a question or two to see what they're like.
> 2. Get her number So after you've messaged back and forth and she seems cool I'll usually drop this line which is true for me in my case. " Hey! Let's swap numbers, I don't turn on push notifications on Tinder. Text me @ 75X-XXX-3333 " So this is my first checkpoint to see if she's on Tinder for validation or looking to hang. It's a yes or no answer and if she texts you, she's investing and you're coming off with the "Buyer's mentality."
> 3. CALL HER This is the most Key part! After she texts you, you need to figure out what is a good time to call this girl? I usually go with afternoons and late evenings. If she asks you a question or the conversation is in a place where it's your turn to reply. I will not text her back till the evening when I'm ready to call her. If she replies within an hour. I just straight up call her. Even if they're busy and can't talk they will end up calling you back. If you moved too fast she might reschedule the talk and say we should talk later, just reply back quickly with just, "Ok" to show that you're not too worried about it. Whenever I've done that they usually call me to say goodnight.
> Calling her allows you to show your off your voice that you are a guy. You could text each other for 3 weeks and not know as much about each other as 2 hours on the phone. And you'll know before the meetup if you guys are going to click really well or not. Every single time I've done this they've always thanked me for calling them and every single time I've done this they were the ones asking me out at the end of the night. I think it's fucking cool to call someone straight up. I get that rush of adrenaline and my heart races every time I'm about to call a girl for the first time which makes this part of the process for me really fun. Hope this helps someone
> > /u/Gustav_Sirvah:

>>My problem with Tinder is that I get no matches at all... :|
> > > /u/Tttkkkkhhh:

>>>Location, pictures and culture can have a huge impact on matches.
>>>In Melbourne I got quite a few, in Japan less so, in Taiwan I'm swimming in matches.
>>>One girl in Taichung saw me at a night market, knew I would be on tinder so matched, met at a bar and chatted before I said "okay let's go". We jump on her scooter back to my hotel room.
> > > > /u/Gustav_Sirvah:

>>>>Heh... I wish have like that... :|
> > > > > /u/Tttkkkkhhh:

>>>>>You can. Anything is possible.
>>>>>If you saw the toothless, unfashionable, slob I used to be you'd be in awe. Everyone can change.
> > > > > > /u/Gustav_Sirvah:

>>>>>>I don't know how to make myself change. I know I should have no bad feelings and don't care about time and effort, but "just do". Why I'm thinking that I'm man of instant gratification? Why I can't be persistent in stuff that seems hard for me? I know I should do so many things to fix my life but I do nothing about that - feeling even worse. I know that I'm now complain. Heh, next thing to change. My whole life needs complete repair.
> > > > > > > /u/Tttkkkkhhh:

>>>>>>>Mine too mate. Most people are like us.
>>>>>>>Change is never one big step, it's a thousand little ones. One day you will realise how much you have changed.
>>>>>>>I recommend reading The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. This book helped me realise things that I could fix, especially in my thinking.
>>>>>>>You can message me anytime if you need help.
> > > > > > > > /u/Gustav_Sirvah:

>>>>>>>>I need to look it less legal way (money, you know). I read some books but they just make me more sure that there's too much stuff to fix in my life...
> > > > > > > > > /u/Tttkkkkhhh:


^(Check out copy-kun on) ^github!

u/HalfBurntToast · 4 pointsr/MyLittleSupportGroup

Were you working in a call center when this started? It could be that you have some type of phobia now involving phones. Like treefrog said, baby steps are really the key to getting over it. Do you have a friend or family member that you might be able to call maybe once a day? Just to try and help desensitize yourself to the fear?

Same thing for being out on your own, or in crowds. It might just take exposing yourself little by little to it. If you're up for a little reading, this is a book I recommend often, if you're interested, that goes into the step-by-steps of dealing with phobias. I'm not affiliated with them, but I found it to help me a lot when I was going through some bad times. I think it might help you out a lot too.

u/EdgeOfDreams · 4 pointsr/AskReddit

I suggest you work on addressing the anxiety and its causes. Here's a book I really like on that subject:

Talking to a real therapist may help a lot as well.

I know I've fallen into a cycle at times where my anxieties and stress cause me to perform poorly at work or at school. That often leads to self-accusation and feelings of anger and frustration. It's important to remember that underneath it all, you are not a bad person, and you don't really want to fail (though it often feels easier than trying to succeed).

Meditation, relaxation techniques, regular exercise, and talking to someone trustworthy such as a therapist or close friend are probably the best treatments you can get for this kind of stuff outside of meds.

u/magnitudeintheattic · 4 pointsr/BabyBumps

So, when I had anxiety, I used The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook with my therapist. I also took zoloft. It took three years of doing this to feel functional and be able to stop all of that treatment.

That said, I still get surges of panic attacks (usually short in duration and a month between), especially when my life is extra stressful. For me, they're short, so I usually just have to talk to someone near me -- "I'm feeling anxious and I need to have a conversation with you." and it usually calms me down.

Have you considered talking to your former doctor about it?

I'm still on medication for depression throughout this pregnancy. It helps me function a lot more than the risks that could be associated with it.

Anyway, therapy, medication, or coping mechanisms (napping, relaxation techniques, exercise) would be my suggestion. Good luck. It's hard.

u/ReginaldDwight · 3 pointsr/raisedbynarcissists

Yes! This! I've been using this (albeit slowly) but it's very easy to understand and helps a lot:

u/Iron_Jesus · 3 pointsr/infp

I'd love some input too being in a similar situation as well. I've been looking for a solution that doesn't involve medication because I don't want to screw up my body's natural hormone levels so I might end up buying this book; from reading the reviews it seems to have helped out a lot of people.

u/Mystrunner · 3 pointsr/emetophobia

It sounds like you need to focus on your anxiety, my friend. Learning to handle anxiety has a massive positive impact on people suffering from Emetophobia; for one thing, one of the more common symptoms of anxiety is nausea! That's one hell of a catch-22 right there.

If your employer covers it, I'd recommend seeing a therapist. It helped me tremendously, and you can start on some cognitive behavioral theapy (CBT). Failing that, the [anxiety and phobia workbook] ( is a very good starting spot as well, and if you commit to working through it, you'll start to notice improvements.

I can tell you for a fact that it can, and if you resolve to work at it, will get better. I used to flee at the thought of someone feeling slighly ill, and last night was able to comfort my heavily nauseated girlfriend without too much jitterying and hand-washing. It's a slow progression, but it definitely gets better. Hang in there.

u/Hountoof · 3 pointsr/Anxiety

I think the Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Dr. Edmund J. Bourne is crucial for anyone with anxiety. It has been so helpful for me.

u/tennesseetitans · 3 pointsr/Fitness

Good for you for having the courage to post on here. As a fellow anxiety sufferer, absolutely exercise will help with symptoms. I highly recommend you get a copy of this book and work through it. It has great info not only on exercise but many other strategies you can use to help yourself. I can't recommend it enough, literally changed my life.

u/HyaloidPerception · 3 pointsr/Anxiety

You have the classic symptoms of social anxiety. Start by gradually introducing new experiences into your life. You can begin slowly by visiting a store by yourself and not buying anything. You have to start somewhere so figure out your current comfort level and push it a little.

The second thing I would recommend is frequent exercise especially if you don't do any sports. An alternative activity to keep you busy (and make money) would be a part time job that would work around your school schedule. You have to think in a positive manner if you want to change your behavior. I have always considered myself socially anxious yet I started cashiering at a major grocery store chain today and I did fine. A few months ago the idea of interacting with 40+ new people each day would have sent me running in the opposite direction. Now I see it as a way to stay productive and make some extra money while I'm going to college.

I would recommend this book for tips on reducing anxiety naturally.

Feel free to respond to this or send me a PM if you want to talk. It would be cool to mentor someone that is around my age (I just graduated high school).

tl;dr Beating anxiety takes work but the payoff is worth it

u/scullytryhard · 3 pointsr/panicdisorder

CBT changed my life rapidly. Sometimes just hearing your thoughts diffuses them.
I have been on almost everything, and I find celexa (citalapram) to have manageable side effects, but’s it’s still not great in terms of weight gain and fatigue. I’ve recently had a lot of success with CBD hemp oil (becoming legal in Canada soon).
Other than that, this is the best advice I can give :

  1. Be kind to yourself. Anger, fear, and frustration makes it worse.
  2. Exersize. Get your heart rate up 15 min a day doing literally anything . Listen to your body. Panic after caffeine, booze, or greasy food? Listen. Meditate. It’s not just for hippies.
  3. Get the Anxiety and Phobia workbook
  4. Know your triggers and SLOWLY force yourself to desensitize. I hate buses, elevators, getting dizzy, planes, etc.
    I shined lights in my eyes purposely to dialate pupils to cause alarm, but train myself that physiological responses are not cause for panic. I would take the bus for one stop, or the elevator one floor. Start small. Celebrate wins. I’m working up to getting back on a plane.
  5. Nothing helping and you’re just having a good ol’ fashion panic attack? Breathe in enough to see your stomach rise. Become aware of your tension (neck, fists) and let go. I take a shower then turn it as cold as I can stand, the back to warm, then back to cold. Instantly works.
    No shower near? Hold ice. Pop an Ativan. Hug someone.
    I find panic is like a peanut allergy. If I let it get out of hand and have a massive meltdown, it gets worse each time.
u/rjpiv · 3 pointsr/Hamilton

Good luck on your journey. When I started mine, my anxiety was to high to join a group. Doctor recommended a workbook. Worked through it and it was great. Can't recommend it enough. Around $45. but seen it used for under $10.

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook

u/IUMogg · 3 pointsr/MadOver30

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Dr Edmund Bourne is my favorite. It’s gotten me through many hard times.

u/pacefaker · 3 pointsr/askgaybros

As someone who struggles with anxiety, I suggest doing what I’ve started: invest time in digging out the root of your depression. IMO this sounds like a lot of self-talk, digging yourself into an idea of who you are or a problem you caused when in fact the issue is much more minute or even non-existent.

I’ve found cognitive therapy very helpful. It’s a great way to figure out a general prognosis of what kind of anxiety/depression you’re facing. You shouldn’t have to live your days cowering over this. I’m using this workbook currently and it’s already given me great insight as well as exercises while I search for a therapist. It may not be right for you, but perhaps a good start.

Hookup culture is full of expectations, but it sounds like you honestly got a cool dude. Don’t fret: based on your account of events you did a great job of pleasing him and making his night.

u/Chewy2000 · 3 pointsr/MakeupAddicts

I totally understand your rant. I have been in the same situation hugs. I recommend this book and possibly a therapist who specializes in anxiety.

and this book:

Also, it helped me to do something that actually made me happy. Its hard when you are sort of just going to school and working because you aren't really living in the present.

When I used to live in a warm climate near the beach...that really helped because it was somewhere I loved to go and loved to be and I actually felt fulfilled. I'm stuck in frozen college land right now and I can't wait until I graduate.

u/israellimon · 3 pointsr/sociology

A big resounding YES! The environment can make or break a person.
That being said there is no way of knowing how that environment would have affected you, yes maybe you would be a badass right now or maybe you would be a traumatized broken shell of a person, better to believe that things are better off how they turned out.

You still want to become hardened? You can make changes in your life to do so, become a social worker, learn some krav maga, travel or move to a different city whenever you can afford it, etc.

Wanna get rid of the anxiety shit? I recommend a combination of CBT or ACT therapy (look for a therapist who specializes or buy a book at amazon) and nootropics.

Good on you to realize everyone around you is just a whiny rich kid, that automatically makes you more hardened than them, so there you go.

u/hotlongsnz · 3 pointsr/Agoraphobia

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook

I would really recommend this it has provided an indispensable resource for me and has been used by multiple psychologists I have seen.

You mentioned the happiness trap there are plenty more books by Russ Harris which I have found really useful check out his catalog and see if any others pick your fancy.

Dare: The New Way to End Anxiety and Stop Panic Attacks

This is very good and sets out a really simple approach to panic attacks.

u/LesMAO · 2 pointsr/halifax

Just so you know, you don't need to struggle through wait lists or high costs to get effective treatment.

The research on anxiety interventions suggests that self-help books that take you through the steps of CBT are just as effective as individual interventions with a practitioner.

The book that is usually recommended to people suffering from anxiety is The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook , which can be found at most of the libraries in Halifax.

However, if you cannot motivate yourself to work through a book like the one I've mentioned, working with a psychologist would be best. You will need to contact Capital Health and get a choice appointment, which will triage you into an intervention strategy. Most likely, you will be placed in a group for social anxiety that will meet every few weeks at the clinic on Bayers road.

Alternatively, you could seek private help. There are a significant number of private psychs in Halifax and there isn't really an effective way to determine who would be a good match for you. This is why the choice appointment is used in the public mental health system.

u/snewclewn · 2 pointsr/raisedbynarcissists

I feel you. This happened to me so many times, but with each relationship I was able to recover a little bit more of myself and establish more of my own boundaries. The fact that you have realized it is getting you much closer to those relationships that you want to have! Nice work.

This is what I would recommend; TLDR, it is very important to take care of your self and your esteem. After this, all will follow. I wrote a gigantic post because what you've described above is pretty much what I've been battling against most of my life.


  1. Do you like yourself? What do you like about yourself? Try celebrating this every day, or whenever you can. Doesn't have to be every day.
  2. Make a bucket list. What are the things you want to do by the time you die? This could literally be anything; my bucket list includes items like "master a particular skill" and "have an orgy". Doesn't have to be "serious", it's just what you want to do with you life.
  3. Spend time dressing yourself up. Find clothes that make you feel good, make you feel attractive. Pay attention to your body. If you haven't updated your wardrobe or your hair in a while, try and do those things. Find some kind of exercise that you enjoy, and try and stick with it: it will make a change in your body before long! If you have problems with nutrition, do some reading and figure out where you should make dietary changes.
  4. Try to revisit your hobbies, or any kind of thing that makes you feel happy; relaxing, sitting on a park bench on a nice day, etc. etc. Doesn't matter if it is "time wasting", just that it makes you feel good. Do anything that gets you back into your body: take a nice shower or bath, breathe deep, take a walk.
  5. Think about whether, in addition to co-dependency, you may also be battling either anxiety or depression (if you were raised by a narcissist, chances are high). Do some reading, I recommend these two books: ESPECIALLY, also Both books teach you about self-care, managing your boundaries and emotions, and breaking out of familiar patterns. I found the co-dependency book relevant even though I'm not a person who is actively trying to control other people; I still had the other behaviors, like taking care of people too much.
  6. Read Alice Miller's The Drama of the Gifted Child (available free here: This book is about how kids raised by narcissists generally have a lot of trouble seeing themselves and seeing their own needs. They construct a false self for their parents, and then learn that the false self -- nice, accomplished, supportive, always there, without expressive impulses (including "negative" emotions like anger or boredom) -- is more valued than their True Self -- i.e. who they are, as a human being, with their complete range of emotions, impulses, and desires for expression.
  7. Learn about how to communicate assertively.
  8. Learn to not apologize for existing, for taking up space, having needs. There's nothing to apologize for you, because you are, you are a human with Maslow's hierarchy like all the other humans!
  9. Do things for yourself every day, just because you want to do them.
  10. Make sure you're getting adequate sleep, food, exercise, sunlight.

    Now, as for setting boundaries:

    1.) Hang out with the friends that you like (or mostly like). Think about why you like them.

    2.) Think about moments where your friends do things that make you feel uncomfortable. Don't dismiss your feelings, explore them. Examples:

  • Friend seems like she only wants to hang out whenever she decides.
  • Feeling third wheeled by two or more friends.
  • Always letting others decide activities because you don't think they will value yours.
  • Friend does something which makes you angry, or says something that makes you feel uncomfortable (like hitting on you, or maybe making an off color joke, or condoning something you don't like)
  • Feelings of tagging along, or side kicking, or taking care of other people
  • Feeling like you have to be the "loyal" one
  • Being made to feel guilty, or pressured into an activity; being made to feel like your time is less important

    3.) Think about why these moments (or others) make you feel uncomfortable. Maybe make a list of past moments. Think about what you would do if you were being assertive -- not aggressive, but accurately and forwardly communicating your feelings.

  • Suggest activities to your friend who wants to control the situation/only wants to hang out when she decides; if she declines, or continues to act uninterested, be up front on how her behavior makes you feel.
  • If feeling third wheeled, hang out with different friends. There are other people around, and it is definitely hard to expand social structures, but it's possible!!
  • Make a list of activities that you prefer, and then propose them. If your friends aren't interested, find a meetup for people that are interested in those kinds of things, and then do them! You will find one or two people that you like.
  • Tagging along, or side kicking: remember that you are valuable. Take value in yourself. Don't hang around with people who may see you as less; meet new people and then set boundaries with them. I.e. if they are late to things and you don't like lateness, let them know that you are a little upset. If they treat your personal possessions with disrespect, let them know it. If they make assumptions about you that are wrong, or say things to put you down, let them know it and that you do not like it. Doing this helps set healthy boundaries with people for the future, and sets up respect. When people need your compassion later, for the REAL issues, you can be there to take care of them. But in the meantime, no need to be their butler or the ever sympathetic person. And if they try to make you feel bad about asserting yourself or having these feelings, rest easy, laugh at their behavior, and find other friends.
  • Friends who do or say things that make you angry or uncomfortable: confront them about it assertively, as soon as it happens. Don't be nervous about it: if you are concerned that this person will threaten physical violence, then I wouldn't be friends with them anymore. Don't worry that they will leave you: if they leave you, oh well! You still have Team yellowpencils. Team yellowpencils is who you have now and it's who you will have until you die, and it's the most important team in the world. Learn to love your team and always be on your own side. (For the nitpickers, this doesn't mean turn out to be a sociopath or never know when to own responsibility for one's actions and mistakes; just that you must, at the end of the day, love and care for yourself).
  • Feeling that you have to be the "loyal" one: forget this feeling. If someone is manipulating you and putting you down, while still asking for your sacrifices, tell them how they make you feel and then, most likely, leave. People like this assume you're easy to victimize, or will never confront them. You have more power than you know.
  • Feeling pressured, being made to feel guilty: no one has a right to your time above and beyond you. You don't owe anyone an explanation for wanting to spend time by yourself or to do activities with other people. If someone wants you to do something which is against your personal code of ethics, remember that the social costs of doing so are most likely outweighed by the personal benefits of staying true to Team yellowpencils.
    4.) Consider ending friendships with people whom you really like (for their personality, for instance) but who obviously do not value your time or do not respect you as a person.

    Making NEW friends:

    1.) My personal strategy is, follow the energy. If I am getting positive vibes from people; if I am enjoying their company without feeling compromised; if there is a give and take in the relationship from BOTH sides; I continue it. If there is not, I drop it quietly before I'm in the friendship/relationship too much.
    2.) If you are noticing old patterns show up in new friends:

  • try and recognize old patterns, first off.
  • Try to figure out where the other person is bending or crossing boundaries. Think about what kind of person you're being routinely attracted to: do they look like your narcissistic parent? Remember that in order to get new friends, you do NOT have to offer a "perfect" friendship where you are never mad and always attending to their needs.
  • Start calling out these new friends on their bullshit earlier: you just may turn the relationship around.
  • Move on: If you feel like this person may just be too similar to past narcissistic friendships, or they are crossing too many boundaries, even though you have tried to talk to them about it.
  • Try and act like how you want to be treated from day one. This doesn't mean, waiting to call someone out on their bullshit until you know what to expect from them: this means doing it immediately. Your survival skills that you learned from your narcissistic parent, like controlling your feelings now, observing, waiting, hiding, confronting when things are "safe" (let's be honest, they were never safe) are no longer necessary, because you are in a new phase of your life where survival no longer has to be the top priority: your happiness is.

    3.) Accept good will. Wherever someone wants to support you, or help you, and you're getting the good energy vibes: be not afraid, explore this a bit. Learn to extend your trust to someone who wants to help. People get quite a bit from helping others out. Let someone help you for a change.
    4.) Act in a friendship how you want to act, not how you think others will like. You'll meet people who like what you are, that you never expected! Accept that not everyone will like who you are or will like your choices.
    5.) Sometimes you're still gonna get burned.

    Since I've made the above changes, I've been happier and have seen a definite increase in the quality of my relationships and the quality of the people I meet and hang out with. I have a better sense of my own boundaries and sense of self. That isn't to say I've totally battled away anxiety or depression, or falling for narcissistic relationships: just have to keep my focus and keep working on my self-care. The more I practice this stuff, the more it becomes instinctual; this will be true for you too.

    Hope this helps!
u/BeardButty · 2 pointsr/Meditation

Before you start meditating, I highly recommend starting with this book. The beginning aims to help you better understand your anxiety and then branches off to different exercises you can do depending on severity or situation that can help calm and relax you. If you make a daily habit to perform the exercises, you'll see a reduction in anxiety symptoms. It may also help you get a better handle on yourself; awareness of your body and mind is obviously a good thing to have and I'm sure you'd be very relieved to be able to, at some point, anticipate oncoming anxiety symptoms before they cause extreme discomfort and distress.

The book contains some different breathing exercises you can practice that will help you form the basis for controlling breath easily and calmly in meditation. After you get accustomed to this practice, you can also use the breathing when you're in any trying situation that can bring your heart rate or jitters up.

This has, of course, been my experience, but the book has been highly rated on Amazon, and I'd seen it recommended several times before I finally picked it up. It's given me real skills I can use and practice with to deal with my anxiety and panic. I've also found that a lot of meditation instruction isn't suitably tailored for people like you and I. It will tend to be highly vague, steps will seem to be missing; almost like they think whoever is reading/listening already kind of "get it" and can plunk down and follow them from the get-go. Nope, not that easy for us!

I'd also like to recommend Wildmind. They offer practical, easily-digestible instruction and information on meditation; I really feel like I finally "got" meditation after reading their articles. Just start there on the linked page from the beginning where you start with posture I think and then move on to other practices.

There are also so many different ways to meditate, and I know all this different information is probably making your head spin. I hope you find my advice helpful and simple enough, it took me years to compile it, to find what was right for me! It's my wish to make things easier and more accessible for people like you and I, because, as you know, anxiety blows. Good luck!

u/kolove · 2 pointsr/90daysgoal

I have panic disorder & anxiety too. Sometimes my boyfriend goes running and I want to join him, but I hate the idea of him seeing how out of shape/sweaty/jiggly I am. A few years ago, a friend of mine gave me a copy of The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook & it's my go-to recommendation now.

Oh, & I'm a west coaster too, I just moved from the east, so I'll see ya in the evenings :)

u/sqqueen · 2 pointsr/confession

> Edit: Is it normal to be anxious about the near future for nearly everything?
Depends. If it's disabling to you, probably not. There are many ways to try to lessen that. From websites etc. on meditation, to the Anxiety and Phobia Workbook online. Personally I'd recommend talking to a counselor (school maybe?)

u/hotcaulk · 2 pointsr/BPD

You may want to try out MoodGYM for now. It's an Australian site that offers some free CBT help. It may be better than nothing while you wait. I have found The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook helpful in the past before I had access to a therapist.

u/BittersweetTea · 2 pointsr/ttcafterloss

I relied on cognitive and behavioural therapy (CBT). Try and find a therapist that's trained in that. I also used this book ( In times where nothing worked then I took benzos but never during the tww or when I was pregnant since it's a Class C drug.

Edit: Word

u/Papayaslayer · 2 pointsr/vancouver

saw this doctor last year for anxiety in kits:
and she had some helpful advice for me. Talking to someone can really help put things into perspective.

I became a bit obsessed with this book: which is helpful but can also be overwhelming if you try to fit in all the reccomendations.

I also noticed your name is "coffeemanic" one of the biggest things you can do to decrease anxiety symptoms is cut out caffeine. If you're a big coffee drinker i would reccomend cutting back and seeing how you feel.

Hope you can get the help you're looking for :)

u/septicman · 2 pointsr/Anxiety

Hey there -- you might find this helpful The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook

It does sound to me like those are indeed panic attacks you're having. That book is quite practical (and it seems like you're looking for practical advice).

Good luck, I hope you find the answers. Do remember, though, that you're not alone.

u/robotslovemusic · 2 pointsr/OCD
u/meeksthecat · 2 pointsr/HannahlyzeThis

Normal, and may still be helpful depending on the person you see. The first appointment is usually just an introduction but the therapist may give you an exercise to work on.

I highly recommend this book until then:

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook

u/wannabewebber · 2 pointsr/Anxiety

Okay, so, doctor's kind of know jackshit about derealization/depersonalization, partly because it can be classified pretty much under anxiety (though there are some cases that can be worse and the anxiety is the DP/DR).

What you should know right now is that acute anxiety is a precursor. Your mind is trying to tell you to slow down and relax. This means incorporating relaxation into your day (not just watching tv or something, deliberate relaxation) eating right, exercising, blah blah blah. Check out some of the chapters in this book which you can find in ahem alternate places if need be.

It's great that you're feeling better! That's wonderful to hear! You really do need to listen to your body though. Go through this pdf and click off what you've been experiencing over the past month to see some of the signs of stress:

It might happen again, maybe, but if you use even a little bit of this time to de-stress yourself, you'll be fine. Just, you know, listen to your body. Also, I'd say talk to a doctor if you're going through upperend moderate, high, or very high stress from the checklist.

u/forwardyoufly · 2 pointsr/Agoraphobia

I hope you have a therapist and psychiatrist you see regularly to help as well.

u/PopePaulFarmer · 2 pointsr/asianamerican

There's therapeutical approaches that target people with multicultural backgrounds. If you're really struggling, I'd try to get diagnosed by a psych and then pursue sessions with a therapist who has experience with AAPI clients.

If that's too expensive and not worth your time, either the ACT handbook or the CBT handbook will do in a pinch.

u/SirDuck36 · 2 pointsr/depression

This is part 2 of the other reply. I separated it because the other was getting long and this will have a different flavor to it anyway. I'm trying to collect resources here that will act as the best substitute for what you will get in therapy that you can start using to make a difference now. I'm no expert of course, but I've been down a few of the same roads before and I at least know part of what they will tell you in advance :)

> Well I am extremely panicky about going downstairs as I really don't know my grandparents well. Also they don't like the food I cook (strong spices) so they make little comments. Also, I have a fear I have always had, of eating in front of people. Plus I can't stand eating noises. I can get food no problem, I always try to have some carrots and fruit in my room along with some bread, but it's not really a replacement for a home cooked meal. I also (irrationally) fear people judging me if I buy something.

These are the areas in addition to the anorexia where therapy will be the most beneficial. There are a few main things that therapy will provide for you, and some of them you don't have to wait for a professional to tell you to start getting benefits. The first thing you get in therapy is patient education. In your case, "What is anxiety, how often and in what ways does it affect people, and what treatments or strategies tend to be effective for managing this?", and "What is anorexia, how often and in what ways does it affect people, and what treatments or strategies tend to be effective for managing this?". It's dangerous to assume that just because you are personally experiencing these phenomena that you know the answers to these questions... In my case, my biggest struggle has been with depression, and even well into my treatment in professional therapy, I didn't understand that "feeling sad" wasn't even a necessary component of depression, and that really held me back for a long time from understanding/believing that depression was truly what I was going through.

To this end, I've gone and done some basic searching to find the reading that I would do if I were in your shoes. These are by no means the only or best resources, but given that I know very little about eating disorders, the random google search will tend to be far more practical and informative than it will be misleading:

The second main thing that therapy will help you do is to learn how you interact with the world, and how your mind processes information it receives. In particular, most of these processes are invisible to us if we don't really slow down and learn to recognize the signs, and there are ways that they can go wrong, so that the information that reaches our conscious mind has been severely distorted as compared to objective reality. I want to emphasize here that there is no magic to therapy... it's pretty common in today's society to have this mental image of going into therapy and talking about your problems for an hour and then somehow the fact that you told all of this to a stranger suddenly makes you feel better. If that were the case I would tend to suspect such a person wasn't really in that much need of therapy in the first place. In my experience, the biggest gains from therapy come out of the work you do every day between sessions to change your mental state and environment. The professional guidance is important and useful to figure out where to focus your limited resources to have the most beneficial impact, and to help you understand what is and isn't genuine progress so that you don't fall prey to the traps of your own thinking, but the hard work is really done by you.

With that in mind, I think you might find some benefit from a good self-help workbook or two. The workbook aspect is key here, because a lot of the relief will come by actually doing the exercises recommended by the workbook, and answering the questions thoughtfully and learning about yourself during that self-reflection. These are the same things that therapy will generally ask you to do (although much more personalized and with other complicating factors taken into account), and I think you could expect at least some initial benefit. It will also help make the therapy sessions more productive once you are able to get to them, since you have some idea of what you are already trying to do, and the therapist will be able to help you understand the finer points more readily than if you are going in blind.

For anxiety and panic, the following two workbooks both come recommended by my therapist and my wife's (she also has panic attacks, though not as frequently now as before):

For the eating disorder, I suspect that something similar would be a good idea, but I unfortunately don't have any direct experience with this so I can't make any informed recommendations. The first book below is the most applicable that I can find that has reasonable reviews (although not as many as I would generally prefer), and the second is the most highly reviewed book that I can find about the relationship between food and emotions in general, but I think it tends to focus on overeating to avoid other emotional problems rather than a food disorder itself. This still could be helpful though because the relationship between food and emotions is always complicated, and a better understanding of this might help alleviate the fears you describe about weight gain and such.

That's a lot for now, I'll stop here and wait to see what you think of all this :)

u/completelydeck · 2 pointsr/nursing

The best way to overcome a fear is healthy exposure. This workbook has had a lot of success with psychotherapists and psychologists. If you can't afford it, look up things on cognitive therapy.

I'd highly recommend conquering your fears before starting any sort of nursing school. It wouldn't be in your best interest to start the process of being accepted into a school only to have to stop. Until then, if you don't have your prerequisites, go for those.

u/abletoma · 1 pointr/Anxiety

Anxiety and Phobia Workbook.

I just started reading it. It's very good.

u/SCOOBASTEVO · 1 pointr/Advice

The way that I handle my fears is by intellectualizing. (I think that's what it's called... it's one of the few accepted psychological "methods" of coping with this sort of thing.) I bought a book written by a Ph. D. that single-handedly helped me understand so much about myself... it's very practical. (Here's a link.)

Other advice I can't give you, for I tried many things before that had no effect.

Good luck!

u/TheLinkToYourZelda · 1 pointr/Anxiety

I always struggled with anxiety and depression while on my meds. And I was a lot of meds. Lexapro + Klonopin + Effexor + Propanolol.

I really believe meds alone are not going to rid you of your anxiety. I am going through a workbook right now called The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook (
It's been really helpful and I would recommend it. I also take a lot of suppliments, talk to your Dr. about what supplements you can safely add.

But probably most helpful for me has been figuring out positive ways to cope with the anxiety. What outlets do you have that can help you process your attacks? Painting, journaling, drawing, exercise, those are some of mine.

Good luck, you are not in this alone!

u/diary-of-lux · 1 pointr/TooAfraidToAsk

/r/DecidingToBeBetter is a subreddit you may like

I’m also currently waiting for an Amazon book since I don’t wanna do therapy. Maybe you should check it out too

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook

I’ll admit in high school I did have an underlying medical condition that caused me to be more irritable. What if it isn’t you who’s the problem, what if it’s something that medical attention can address?

Good luck. The fact that you’re here asking self aware means you’re already set to be in a better place by the latter of this year.

u/about831 · 1 pointr/Anxiety

I've found the Phobia and Anxiety Workbook by Bourne incredibly useful.

u/alexiagrace · 1 pointr/Anxiety

I really think you should talk to a professional if possible. See if your job offers an Employee Assistance Plan, which is usually available to all employees even if they don't have benefits. You can also try going to a community center, support group, online forums, phone hotlines, or consulting a self help book. I've heard good things about this one: Learn to recognize when you are having an anxiety attack and remember to breathe and try to relax your body. Hang in there and good luck!

u/cassiope · 1 pointr/Health

Yeah, that's the panic in the upper 70s.

Try working with this until you can find someone in person. Self-help, basic, but might get you to his/her office if you really work on it.

u/this_raccoon · 1 pointr/selfhelp

Maybe you could try cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) self-help books. CBT has been proven very efficient when it comes to phobias and panic. It uses exercises to help you identify the thoughts that trigger your reactions, and "correct" them. It also uses gradual exposure to help you slowly feel more comfortable with what scares you.

If you're comfortable enough with English, you should definitely check out workbooks dedicated to anxiety disorders, for example
The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook or The Anxiety & Worry Workbook

u/volcano_bake_meat · 1 pointr/Anxiety

I highly recommend The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook. My school counselor recommended it when I asked for CBT, and it's been really helpful for me so far. I also learned in an abnormal psych class that CBT is the most effective treatment for anxiety because it's about control, while meds are only effective in the beginning but really ineffective later on as they are really addictive.

u/babylegs123 · 1 pointr/Anxiety

That's the problem with anxiety--it has a way of convincing us that the most illogical things suddenly make sense and are the truth. There's a workbook that I actually find really helpful: Sometimes reading books can make things worse because it brings things to the surface, but this one really helped me to understand that the things I was telling myself really didn't make any logical sense when I thought about it (e.g. "I can't take care of myslef" --I can take care of myself and I do it every day...the anxiety just stopped me from giving myself credit for these little victories). Everyone is different, but maybe the workbook could help you too.

Another thing: I always have a mental dialogue going's only when anxiety picks up that I start thinking maybe it's another voice or something. Really, it's just that dang anxiety convincing me I'm not ok. It always passes. Some times faster than others, but it always does.

u/thewarehouse · 1 pointr/Anxiety

I'm almost totally sure I read it in the Anxiety & Phobia Workbook which you should be able to get at your library.

It's interesting particularly in the medical sense because you can acknowledge the absolute suckiness of a racing heart, but assign it to "shit, this sucks, but it's just responding to an inappropriate adrenaline surge. It's doing what it's supposed to do, and when the adrenaline tapers off I will be fine. This is NOT what a heart attack feels like, therefore, this is not a heart attack."

u/midnus · 1 pointr/AskReddit

Not the main guy, but a great technique is:

A breathing technique of counting to three while breathing in, then counting to six while breathing out.

It is super effective against panic attacks.

EDIT: Also, this!

u/depressedautisticgal · 1 pointr/aspergers

> [Trump] has more worth than me as a person. His life holds more value than mine, has higher social status and is a better person than me, you and almost everyone in the world.

That one phrase stood out to me from your response. Reading that made me feel so horrible for you. You must have so little confidence in yourself if you think that the only thing that makes a person valuable is power and social status. I really feel like you should see a therapist about that, or if not, then read a self-help book. On that particular front, I highly recommend The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, by Edmund J. Bourne.

I actually have a really relevant quote from that book hanging on my bulletin board. It reads "Self-worth is inherent. You have an essential value, worth, and dignity just by virtue of the fact that you're a human being." Please try to keep that in mind. No one should have to think that they're less valuable than anyone else, especially if that "someone else" is someone as vile and horrible as Donald Trump.

Okay, onto the rest of your comment.

> No one likes being insulted, but I do not see what that has to do with anything? Are you implying that you have insulted me at some point?

My point was that, if you don't enjoy being insulted, then why aren't you trying to do anything to fight against the people who insult you? You'd rather just let them insult you than actually try to stand up to them in any way.

> I still also never said that hatred is better. I just said that people like the bitter guy can feel act of kindness to be worthless and some people would like to stay that way (maybe it was my first post).

Just because they'd rather stay that way doesn't mean that they should stay that way, though. If someone has horrible qualities that they don't even try to change, then they'll very likely be shunned by society as a result.

> Why do you think that "24 stories" was made into an article? Because the sample size is so small that helping someone is actually notable.

That's a pretty large leap in logic to make. Just because a sample size for a single article is small doesn't mean that something rarely ever happens. The sub /r/randomkindness has a very large sample size (over 50,000 members), and it seems to me to be very active, so doesn't that count as proof that society is much kinder than you seem to think?

> Also /r/thathappened is not that much of a cynical sub. There's many realistic NTs there who are not douchy but not super nice. These are real people, they are NTs, not us. Why should they take YOU (and me) seriously, is the question, when regarding a question about society and norms? Ever thought about that?

Yet again, you devalue yourself and act as though NTs are universally better than us. I really, honestly wish I could rid you of this mindset somehow, since I've struggled with low self-confidence myself in the past, and I know how horrible and toxic it can be.

Also, it makes no sense to say that the members of /r/thathappened aren't cynical, since cynicism is defined by Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary as "having or showing the attitude or temper of a cynic: such as
a : contemptuously distrustful of human nature and motives." (Source.) The members of that sub are entirely distrustful of human nature, and they show that distrust by questioning the thousands of stories on that sub and refusing to believe any of them actually happened. There's a reason why the sub /r/nothingeverhappens exists, you know.

> Finally your "get back to reality" argument is a clusterfuck of you misunderstanding me. I guess that aspies misunderstand each other often. As in me not realizing that you have insulted me. Maybe it's that "get back to reality" part? I guess I won't find it insulting since you literally just reworded what I said.

Sorry about that. I will admit that I'm quite good at misunderstanding people, due to my cognitive issues. I am trying my hardest to parse what you're saying, though, and I do feel like, for the most part, I've been able to understand you. I do apologize for the instances when I haven't, though. I know it can be frustrating to have a conversation with me due to these issues and I have to thank you for not getting frustrated with me, even though you have had every reason to do so.

> I am just going to say that random acts of kindness can be slightly helpful, but is worthless for the most part. Especially when shown to random people, it's feels so forced and fake. As if that's going to mean anything to anyone.

Again, I feel bad for you. If you feel this way about helping others, then I can only imagine that you feel the same way about others helping you. Everyone needs help sometimes, and being helped, especially by a stranger, can make a lasting impact on a person.

A few years ago, I tripped and fell while I was out doing errands. I landed hard on my face and my nose started bleeding. A random woman saw me and helped me over to a local bar, where I sat with a bunch of napkins held to my nose while the woman called an ambulance. To make a long story short, it turned out that I had broken my nose, and the whole experience would have been so much more frightening for me if that woman hadn't helped me out. (And by the way, if a man had helped me out, I would have felt just as thankful for that, so please don't try to make this into a gender issue, when it isn't that at all. I needed help from someone, anyone, in that moment, and I'm so glad I got it.)

u/The_Great_Gasmini · 1 pointr/Anxiety

I posted a similar question on here for a gift for my boyfriend, and I got a lot of great responses so I decided to make a "panic box" for him with lots of different ideas.

He is big on scents for soothing, so I got him a relaxation blend and frankincense essential oils, as well as his favorite incense.

He is also very responsive to tea, so I got him this pregnancy tea. I know that seems weird, but it was one of the few on Amazon that had chamomile and oatstraw. Although I didn't really expect them to work, I also got him stress mints, calm drops, and moon drops in hopes that having something to suck on might calm him down if some minor anxiety pops up.

As for books, after reviewing this thread here, I got him this anxiety memoir since he seems to benefit from reading other people's stories (shout out to this subreddit! Thanks guys!), as well as this workbook.

Finally, I got him a panic pete to give him something to hold and squeeze when he was anxious. Out of all the things I got him, he loved panic pete the best!

As a final, personal touch, I printed out this article which he loved reading when he is anxious, and included some of the calming mantras I found here.

Hope at least some of this helps!

u/optigon · 1 pointr/aspergers

I'm pretty terrible about overthinking. A friend of mine with bipolar disorder recommended this book for really pinpointing anxiety and learning to work with it.

The thing with anxiety is that you have to learn how to control it and manage it. For me, I have sayings that I tell myself to push it back. Like, I have a tendency to look back and cringe at stuff I've done, even if it was minor. So, I tell myself, "I was doing the best I could with what I had at the time, and there is nothing that can be done about it now."

If I'm overthinking about something that's coming up, I remind myself that I suffer from anxiety, and consequently may be experiencing a cognitive distortion. "This probably won't be as bad as I'm making it out to be, and worrying won't change it. I will cross that bridge when I get there."

A big thing that medication helped me with was learning to be more cognizant of my changing behaviors. Like, I didn't realize how anxious I was before I was on medication. I also didn't realize how much alcohol affected me for days afterward. Prior to that, I thought I was "good" within a day or so. Once I started noticing that, it helped me learn to kind of police my changing moods and see trends where I'm exhibiting more anxiety, so I can start talking myself down when I'm panicking.

That being said, I've been put on medication before too for physical symptoms. Eye twitches are a bitch.

u/StarvingAfricanKid · 1 pointr/offmychest

heh, I have to chuckle. Tell ya what; you can get L-theanine at most drug stores and/or health food stores.
Don't buy GABA itself; it is too large a molecule to pass through the blood/brain barrier (think of it as a bag with teeeny holes in it, that holds your brain; cocaine CAN pass through, Aspirin can and L-theanine can. Once inside the brain - the brain takes the L-theanine and makes it INTO GABA.
take a look at the book "how to win friends and influence people" another good book is

u/appleberrydarling · 1 pointr/relationship_advice

Many therapists will work on a sliding scale. I pay $14 per session. My Zoloft costs $5 for two months (I cut the pills in half as per my doctor's instructions). I pay about $35 (factoring in gas to drive to the pharmacy and therapist's office) a month for my mental health. It's not nothing, but it's less than I pay for my phone, my Internet, my food, or my rent - by a long shot.

I let myself believe that it was too expensive to get help for far too long. I was actually telling this to myself because I didn't want to have to get help for a lot of other reasons. I keep this all very private - literally no one in my life knows that I go to a therapist or that I take medication - and you also have that option. Keep it to yourself if you're ashamed or embarrassed, but also realize that you shouldn't be embarrassed - you should be very proud of yourself for recognizing that you feel something that you don't want to feel, it's impacting your life negatively, and you want to do something about it. That takes a lot of courage.

I also have found the book The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook to be a really good resource for me to work through my anxiety. Your local library may have a copy that you can check out. The Feeling Good Handbook might also be helpful for you.

You don't have to feel this way. Take care of yourself.

u/stillhoping1 · 1 pointr/Anxiety

If anxiety has turned you into a shadow of your former self (like it has to me), then therapy isn’t a bad option. Actually therapy has been the single best thing I’ve done for myself in regards to my anxiety. It’s not gone, but being able to ramble about all the things I think about to someone has proven beneficial.

Anxiety greatly shrunk my world, and after a length of time led to me being depressed. I’m now trying DBT, which is like CBT but adds meditation and stuff. CBT is good because it helps you recognize and try to correct negative thought patterns. DBT does that but too, but with some more steps. You could try to go through some self help workbooks before therapy if you like. Here’s one that I got a good bit out of:

Good luck!

u/naticus · 1 pointr/tipofmytongue
u/anxiousyogi · 1 pointr/Anxiety

Try talking to your general practitioner (or a GP at a walk-in clinic, etc.), and ask for a referral to a psychiatrist. Psychiatrists are covered by OHIP in Ontario; however, the wait time before the first session can be months. Your GP should be able to diagnose and treat anxiety (with medication) as well if that's suitable.

I recommend self-help resources, such as The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Dr. Bourne ( This guy knows what he's talking about, and if you're motivated enough to work through this book, you will get results.

A great free online self-help CBT course that his great for anxiety is MoodGym ( There's a similar one by the same people called e-couch, which is also great. (The MoodGym page says that it's for depression, but it works well for anxiety, as the techniques are basically the same).

Good luck!

u/Tttkkkkhhh · 1 pointr/seduction

Mine too mate. Most people are like us.

Change is never one big step, it's a thousand little ones. One day you will realise how much you have changed.

I recommend reading The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. This book helped me realise things that I could fix, especially in my thinking.

You can message me anytime if you need help.

u/BrandyeB · 1 pointr/Anxiety

Yes it can be totally random and come out of what seems like nothing.
I really recommend this book it helped me learn about my anxiety and it was like 15 bucks.

u/Rapn3rd · 1 pointr/Anxiety

I have panic disorder and it typically manifests itself in a nauseous feeling in my stomach, which if it turns from anxiety into panic attacks then grows into more nausea, sweating, and at it's worst depersonalization. What you're describing is rather similar to how I get, so I'll share some of my strategies with you in the hopes that they'll help :)

What I do when I feel anxious and have these thoughts is to first, label the cognitive distortions as they come, and this takes practice but it's been one of the more helpful tools in my arsenal.

So, first things first, familiarize yourself with this list if you have not and see which of these you recognize yourself doing most frequently. The goal is to become comfortable with this list and how it pertains to you, recognizing you do these things is the first step to slowing down the panic! For me, catastrophizing is my go to CD. (Which is essentially what you're doing when you convince yourself you can't breath or are having a heart attack). In the book I linked at the end of this post, there is a chapter that is dedicated to debunking these types of CD's with facts that I find helpful to use as an absolute counter. You won't pass out and stop breathing for example, because your body will force you to begin breathing again.

Once you have recognized the cognitive distortion, you can begin to focus on the fact that it is not real. When we panic we ruminate and fixate on things and have a perspective that has become unhinged from reality, the goal of recognizing, labeling and acknowledging these distortions is to anchor ourselves back into reality. The sooner you do this the better, but its never too late in any given panic attack to start bringing yourself back down to reality.

It takes practice, a lot of practice and time but you can get better at slowing these thoughts down! If you haven't read it before, I highly recommend this book, it's helped me greatly and was recommended by my therapist.

I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder at the beginning of this year, I have been going to therapy once every week, eventually to once every two weeks, I read through this book, I meditated for a bit, I began exercising more, I learned my cognitive distortions and how to counter them, and I learned about panic disorder. It took me some time to adjust to dealing with this new lifestyle, sometimes, it just plain sucks, but it has gotten consistently better as I've worked at it. When I first started therapy, I felt like I was fucked, and that I wouldn't have the fortitude to fight through the worst of it, and that things would always be shitty like this. But, I was wrong, it doesn't happen as quickly as you may like it to, but you can get through it.

I'll leave you with this tidbit of info from one of the books I had read. If you can visualize your anxiety as a soup on the kitchen stove that you put the ingredients into, your awareness of yourself is the pot that holds it. With practice and a good deal of effort, your awareness and skills can and will grow larger than your anxiety, and that makes it much more difficult for your anxiety to keep you in a strangle hold.

TL DR: Just keep at it! With practice you can grow to be much more comfortable in your own skin!

u/clairissabear · 1 pointr/teaching

Beware anxiety and stress, it has destroyed many good teachers. I know you won't have time to read all of it, but this: is a great resource.

Remember that you are human.

u/1000ancestors · 1 pointr/Agoraphobia
u/slowcoach69 · 1 pointr/Anxiety

These two books helped me tremendously. If you have a half price books store around you check there you might find cheapers.

Techniques wise breathing exercises have helped a lot
something like going into a quiet room and laying flat on my back. breathing in slowly and deeply until count of 4 and then out the mouth
notice what moves when you breath. is it shoulders or stomach? it should be stomach. if you focus on the breathing and counting you tend to stop thinking of the thing making you anxious. at least thats how it works for me. try to do the breathing for like 10 -15 mins a day

let me know if you need anything else at all. you are definitely not alone

u/verycaroline · 1 pointr/Assistance

IAMAD, but based on some experience with a close family member, some of the thought patterns you're describing are very similar to those described by folks who suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder. By no means is this an attempt to diagnose you. Rather, know that you are not alone, in fact lots of things about the scenarios and worries you're describing sound like what my elder family member has described to me.

Can you find a way to see a primary care doctor? You are, and will be, ok. Do search out some help to talk to. There's lots of methods my Family member has learned. I also bought him this book: - not sure how much he used it but he kept it around me so has at least read it. Best of luck!

u/oh_so_very_awkward · 1 pointr/socialanxiety

If you have a good therapist, then they'll ask you how you want the sessions to go, and they'll try to tailor their therapy to what you want. If you want to just vent to them, they'll let you do so, or if you want to do CBT, DBT, or any other type of therapy, then they'll do that, so long as they're trained in the type of therapy you want to do. And it's also often helpful to buy a workbook to go through with your therapist. I myself have used The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook, by Edmund J. Bourne. I really like that workbook, since it has tons of exercises to do that really help you learn about how your anxiety works and how to manage it.

And I really doubt your anxiety isn't bad enough to see a therapist. I'm guessing that's just your anxiety trying to convince you of things that aren't true. That's what your anxiety does: when you think about taking a huge step towards overcoming it, it rears its ugly head and tries to prevent you from taking that step. If you want to see a therapist (or a psychiatrist), then you go ahead and see a therapist or a psychiatrist, no matter how much you doubt you need to do so. Show your anxiety who's boss!

u/hazelk · 1 pointr/stopdrinking

While it's no substitute for therapy, this book REALLY helped me to manage my severe anxiety:

u/CampCook3 · 1 pointr/offmychest

I've had anxiety too and don't like conflict. This book helped me: The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook

We are going to see that movie today, I'll be on the lookout for any nasty people!

u/suki66 · -1 pointsr/Anxiety

Who prescribed it to you? Your regular physician or a Psychiatrist. I have found it is best to find someone who specializes in ADHD, and preferably someone who specializes in ADHD for adults. They are going to be very familiar with the way adhd/anxiety/depression go hand-in-hand, and they are going to be really familiar with how the medication for one, might exacerbate the other.

I am working with 2 people right now. A prescribing nurse at an inpatient/outpatient clinic. They totally get it all. He is managing my medication. We are focused on ADHD because it is the most prominent problem right now.

I am also seeing a Psychologist that specializes in ADHD. We are working on the anxiety with a workbook called the Anxiety & Phobia workbook ( there is a lot of good information about panic attacks in it as well.