Reddit reviews The Art of Communicating

Have you ever heard of this book?

It isn't perfect, but it has a lot of down-to-earth ways to communicate to someone who has hurt you without causing further pain. Kind of the exact opposite of the above poster's "don't expect any revelations from Buddhism about what you should do in a certain situation," which I really perceive as a form of nihilism (IMHO the most dangerous wrong path to go down as someone just learning about buddhism).

This also underscores the importance of having a personal mentor, instead of just relying on writings and random internet gurus. They go on and on about how you can't know what medicine to take without seeing a doctor - and they are actually 100% correct.

If you don't have a mentor, ask a trusted friend. They'll always do you better than reddit gurus.

I don't trust people who make exaggerated claims like "I will never put her through that again" and "I hate myself everyday for doing it" and "I will never do it again." I would ask you to reflect on how you can improve yourself.

If you want to regain trust then you must build emotional intimacy and put real effort into learning more about infidelity and communication. Take action by planning dates, but more importantly play games that build intimacy such as the Ungame and Face to Face.

If you are committed to working through this as you claim then you should be expected to read books that will improve your relationship skills.

• Fidelity: How to Create a Loving Relationship That Lasts
• The Art of Communicating
• I Hear You: The Surprisingly Simple Skill Behind Extraordinary Relationships
• The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity

Good reminder. Aligned with what I'm reading now in Thich Nhat Hahn's The Art of Communicating.