Reddit reviews The Bible Tells Me So: Why Defending Scripture Has Made Us Unable to Read It

You are not alone, friend. Here are some resources that helped me when I faced a similar set of problems:

The Bible Tells Me So, by Peter Enns

Inspired, by Rachel Held Evans

The Bible Project, for general Bible stuff

The Naked Bible Podcast: Leviticus Intro, for those difficult Leviticus passages

I am impressed with your serious and thoughtful approach to all of this. You've been through a lot, and I hope you continue to find your way forward.

Two books I would recommend: One is Jennifer Grace Bird's Permission Granted: Taking the Bible Intro Your Own Hands, and another is Peter Enns' The Bible Tells Me So: How Defending Scripture Has Made Us Unable to Read It.

From slightly different perspectives (Enns is more evangelical in his background and approach), they show how critical readings of the Bible can foster serious and faithful engagement with Scripture, and how the rigid and abusive interpretations of fundamentalists are often rooted more in their own agendas than in the text itself. You can certainly find a middle way through all of this. Good luck and/or many blessings!

When I was first asking these questions, this book helped a lot.

You are doing it wrong. Never agree to read a book without getting them to read one in return. And they will not read a Dawkins book. Instead go for a Rachel Held Evans book (Faith Unraveled), where the author is still a Christian. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0310339162/

Also, Peter Enns (The Bible Told Me So) is a Christian theologian and is another one to challenge their view of the Bible. Again both are Christians still, but it will challenge their fundamentalism. That's the first step just to get them to learn to safely ask questions of their own faith. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062272039/

Review by Rachel Held Evans of Peter Enns' book:
http://rachelheldevans.com/blog/peter-enns-bible-tells-me-so

Pick one of those books, and promise to discuss it with them afterwards, in exchange for reading a book they pick.

The key is that you want them to realize that you know more about the Bible than they do. When you are ready for it, I recommend Bart Ehrman (Misquoting Jesus). https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060859512/

And finally, watch more Street Epistomology videos on youtube. You need to focus more on the "Why" of what they believe. You are spending too much time arguing, and not enough time trying to learn about "why" they believe. For most, it's fear of death.

My first serious faith crisis happened about 7 years ago when I was around your age and attending a Nazarene university. I honestly don't remember what happened at the time for me to continue in the faith, I think I just decided that "God was bigger than the boxes I tried to put him in" and I left it at that.

My second serious faith crisis happened several months ago, where I encountered one thing after another that I just couldn't reconcile. One of the books that really launched my current trajectory was The Bible Tells Me So: Why Defending Scripture Has Made Us Unable to Read It. This book (by Peter Enns, a controversial Christian Bible scholar) reframed how I viewed the Bible and resonated with me on many levels. However, my upbringing was very much that the Bible is the infallible, inerrant word of God, and the contradictions and inaccuracies revealed in Enns' book only added to the multiplying cracks in my rigid foundation.

From here I ended up listening to hours upon hours of podcasts and debates, including the Unbelievable? program, which often brings a Christian and non-Christian together to debate. Time and time again I felt like the non-Christian had the better, more reasonable argument.

I also became more familiar with Dan Barker and Bart D. Ehrman, both former Christians and now prominent atheists. In my naiveté, I had always assumed that atheists were more likely to convert to Christianity than the other way around. I was shocked to learn of former pastors and missionaries (who had served for decades even) that had deconverted, and I felt compelled to know more about why someone that immersed in the religion could feel confident enough to walk away.

So here I am. Agnostic is probably the best term for me now. I am more convinced of some things I don't accept than those I do, but am also learning to be okay with not having all the answers, because realistically we never will.

Here’s the relevant Enns book.

https://www.amazon.com/Bible-Tells-Me-Defending-Scripture/dp/0062272039

And I would personally recommend a slightly different thesis, The Bible Tells Me So by Bible scholar Peter Enns. Completely rocked // transformed // strengthened my view of the bible, and my faith.

Historically, there was no genocide. Of the 12 cities, there was evidence that most of them were already empty when the Israelites arrived. Citation

I had similar doubts. Peters Enns book: The Bible Tells Me So was exactly what I needed. I suggest you check it out. You can read a first couple of pages (which made me end up purchasing it) before you decide if it's for you.
https://www.amazon.com/Bible-Tells-Me-Defending-Scripture/dp/0062272039

I think you make some good points there. I just want to add that a lot of Christians have said that its ok not to have absolute belief in Jesus. Most people only have some. That's why there is a classic prayer, "I believe, Lord - help my unbelief." I believe enough to pray for help, and that's the best I've got.

For the innerancy stuff - I would recommend very very highly Pete Enns' book The Bible Tells Me So. It's about how the bible has all kinds of errors and contradictions, but maybe God's ok with that, maybe "inspired" doesn't mean "without error," and we can be Christians anyway.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0062272039/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1