Reddit reviews The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

First of all, you're fantastic. Seriously. She's very lucky to have someone who understands there's a problem and the problem isn't her true self, it's this THING that's wrapped around her. CPTSD is basically a massive web of defense networks to protect the true self, unfortunately the web is so thick and sensitive it is often difficult to separate the true self from this THING that's wrapped around it. Even for the person in the web, it can be hard to know what's a true self reaction from a CPTSD reaction because it is so close and woven through you and at the same time hates you. It's like having an enemy living in your own skin who is bent on destroying you so much that they will viciously and mercilessly protect you from others in order to keep you to themselves.

CPTSD doesn't respond to the same therapy as PTSD, it's a lot more insidious and can even leave the brain damaged (it did for me, for example) and takes a lot longer to deal with. But as hopeless and difficult as it feels now, it IS totally manageable. With time and work she can get it under control and you can also learn how to both support her and manage your own reactions to her as well. Here's some resources to start with:

http://www.outofthestorm.website/ - one of the best information sites and online communities for CPTSD, I recommend your GF read the forums and if she can join them. Lots of experience and support there. Lots of good info for you as well and a forum section for supporting those who are with someone with CPTSD (your care is as important as hers!).

Knowledge of self contributes a HUGE amount toward healing CPTSD. I recommend she take the time to learn as much about this condition as she possibly can, it gives you a tremendous amount of power. Just being able to put what's going on inside into context can lead to major self improvement steps.

Books:

One of the best is by Pete Walker, his website has a ton of info and the book is easy to find. I strongly recommend it, it's not an easy read but it's very profound and illustrates a lot of what she's going through and puts things in a lot of context - http://www.pete-walker.com/complex_ptsd_book.html - again, a lot of good stuff for both of you on the website and in the book. For example, I had no idea till I read the book that very subtle facial expressions could trigger a flashback. I thought I was just an over-emotional angry emotional asshole. Once you know about a trigger, you can manage your reactions and be in control of them instead of at the mercy of them. You start to be able to filter your genuine self out of flashbacks and trauma reactions instead of just being this chaotic mess.

Another excellent book is The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk - https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0670785938 - not directly about CPTSD specifically, but about how intense trauma effects the brain and body, and how to start down the path of healing.

Videos:

My favourite coach is Richard Grannon, he's very informative (almost overwhelmingly so) and personally experienced with CPTSD & PTSD - https://www.youtube.com/user/SPARTANLIFECOACH/search?query=cptsd - he's also very blunt and clear in explaining things - the one flaw with him is that he will go on a million tangents, there's always fantastic information to be picked up from his tangents, but some people find his them frustrating.

Another great youtube speaker on CPTSD is Shrinking Violet - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzJxW0L4JQpLj0u-9buFXjA/featured - she's very informed and easy to listen to.

There's actually a lot of good coaches on YouTube, by all means try a few of them and find the ones which give you the most info that you can absorb.

Real Life Support

Therapy is very important. It can take a while to get to the point that you can take it because it can be confronting, but it's worth it. Make sure you find a therapist who understands what CPTSD is, just going to a PTSD therapist won't really help, the treatments are similar but not the same. If money is an issue, look up NAMI.org and see what services they have in your area, but also online therapy is a totally viable option, you can find a lot of therapists who offer text & skype sessions - I won't recommend any because therapy is SUCH a personal journey, and the person who works for me may not work for you. Just google CPTSD and therpist and you'll find lots of resources to go through. I would recommend starting with the youtube & book study first, it will make it a LOT easier to deal with with a therapist one to one.

If you or her have questions, feel free to shoot me a msg. I have CPTSD and a couple of psych degrees, I'm not a professional but I'm happy to share whatever info I have.

About Kratom, what pain did your GF have?

(Thanks for thinking of me u/dragonbubbles <3)

Everyone here is saying some good stuff, but it misses the point a little. Meditation has lots of benefits for everyone, the risks that you will have complications are minimal, and very people who meditate will experience these complications. That being said, all the things that you're describing, namely, feeling empty, going psychotic, 'dark nights of the soul' are all dangerous side-effects of meditation that may happen to you. Your risk is potentially higher because of your history of mental 'instability'. These are definitely not things you want to have happen to you if you could have avoided them, and can cause serious damage.

Of course you should decide if this is the right path for you, and it's good that you recognize that your anxiety prevents you from doing things that are probably safe, but how about some resources to help you understand how these negative side-effects happen and try to avoid them. To be honest, it's easy to jump on the bandwagon "mindfulness, mindfulness, mindfulness solves all your problems!!" but there's are risks to everything. Let's try to understand them to make informed decisions. Why should people with poor mental health be careful with meditation? Why can a long retreat be a bad idea? How do you know if you're safe or not?

The one person seriously studying these "adverse effects" of mindfulness is Willoughby Britton, at Brown. Read about her work here and here. I would watch the videos and do some research on the Cheetah house website.

The biggest risk you have of having adverse effects is basically if you have large unprocessed trauma in your subconscious. These things can be repressed and forgotten and manifest themselves as constant tension, worry and depression without knowing the cause. This is quite confusing and disorienting. Why am I so fucked up?

What can happen is, if you're on retreat, or even if you're meditating at home, you will be meditating, and the trauma will resurface. This giant emotional beast that you did you best to contain in order to survive when something terrible happened to you will rear its hard. The severity of these emotions cannot be understated -- normal fear is nothing compared to traumatic fear. Think nightmares and flashbacks and constantly paranoid. This can be very startling and can re-traumatize people pretty badly or cause them to loose their minds or go psychotic.

The reason the trauma existed in the first place was because it was too much for the mind to handle, and it may be too much if it comes up too strongly. I would read "The Body Keeps the Score" which makes a convincing argument that almost all mental health problems result from unprocessed trauma and the subsequent inability to feel safe and build strong loving relationships.

The second response to resurfacing trauma is "dissociation" whereby the pain is too much to handle, so instead of the mind breaking, the mind separates from the body and imagines itself floating away. This again is quite an effective coping mechanism if terrible stuff is happening but not exactly the state you want to be in long term. This leaves the subject feeling empty and like he isn't even real. Read about dissociation and the importance of connecting to the body here and [here](http://www.wikiwand.com/en/Dissociation_(psychology)

This is not to say that mindfulness is bad. In fact for these sorts of traumatized people, and most people with mental health problems at all, mindfulness of the body, "reconnecting" with emotions, staying balanced in the face of distressing feelings are exactly the path to recovery and healing. But tackling these things on your own can be unsafe in proportion to the severity of the trauma and also proportion to the depth to which you enter the mind which are both compounded if you're isolated interpersonally. Hence the warning to see a therapist and avoid retreats.

My advice? Start mindfulness meditation, take it slow, see what happens, if you sense super agitating emotions come up (not just anxiety, you'll feel these things somatically when they manifest) you could decide to see a therapist or have the support of people close to you who can help you through the emotional difficulties. Therapists trained in trauma resolution will use "somatic experiencing" basically a form of mindfulness combined with talking to the person anyways. Whatever happens you're going to have to feel uncomfortable, but if it gets to be too much, back off. Otherwise, keep going, to enlightenment and beyond. Remember that happiness isn't just about stoic meditation, but involves love for yourself and others. As much as we hate to admit it, we need each other.

Best of luck and much metta.

First of all:

>If my mom tries to kill herself again, will it be my fault?

NO. Absolutely not. You do not own her choices.

Second, you might want to investigate a therapist who specializes in trauma. Some things can't be worked out with CBT. I'd encourage you to look at a book called The Body Keeps the Score (which is excellent, but should have trigger warnings all over it, btw). Not related to trauma necessarily, but Toxic Parents is another really good book (though people disagree over whether the confrontation idea at the end is really a good idea).

Hugs if you want them. You've come a long way, and you should be proud of that. :-)

I recently read a book called "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma." (My library had it, so I borrowed it for free.)

It talks a lot about the connection between the body and trauma, anxiety, and depression, and discusses a lot of body-based treatments. There's a whole section on yoga! They mention other specific types of treatments, including EMDR, which my therapist is trained in and offers. It has been tremendously helpful to me, whereas cognitive-behavioral therapy only offered temporary relief.

My therapist said to me that the longest distance in the world is the one between the head and the heart. So while I can change my thoughts through CBT, which can be helpful, it's much harder to change the body or the emotions. Treatments like EMDR, neurofeedback, Internal Family Systems, and others can help. Doing things to give yourself a sense of connection with your body will help. Yoga, dance, theater, and massage are all discussed in the book as helpful, scientifically-proven options. The guy who wrote it is an M.D. who runs a trauma clinic.

Link to the book, if you'd like to learn more: http://www.amazon.com/The-Body-Keeps-Score-Healing/dp/0670785938

Harvard article about yoga for anxiety and depression: http://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/yoga-for-anxiety-and-depression

Mindfulness meditation is another proven way to reduce anxiety. More information about how to practice it is available here: http://www.lionsroar.com/how-to-do-mindfulness-meditation/

Here's an article summarizing the results of a meta-analysis of the effectiveness on mindfulness meditation on treating anxiety and depression: http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2014/01/07/260470831/mindfulness-meditation-can-help-relieve-anxiety-and-depression

Belleruth Naparstek - Invisible Heroes

Bessel Van Der Kolk - The Body Keeps The Score

Hey. I know your feeling exactly. In fact, Pete Walker talks about it in his book, that feeling when you realize after all the diagnoses you've been collecting that explain your problem except not really and you've found the actual fucking answer. It's a great feeling in a sea of not so great feelings.

The books in the sidebar are amazing reads.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Body-Keeps-Score-Healing/dp/0670785938

http://www.amazon.com/Complex-PTSD-Surviving-RECOVERING-CHILDHOOD/dp/1492871842/

The first book devotes almost fully the second half to treatments.

I personally burned out on shitty therapists before I had my own mind blown so I've not gotten professional help. However, I have see people in this subreddit rave about EMDR and Somatic experiencing.

Bessel Van Der Kolk says mindfulness is key but that there is no easy solution. So, mindfulness meditation, yoga, tai chi, things like this are a great idea to start doing right now.

Book recommendation: http://www.amazon.com/The-Body-Keeps-Score-Healing/dp/0670785938

If she wants to try medical cannabis, I would only recommend it if you're in a state where she can access high CBD, low THC medicine. THC can increase anxiety, and can be dependence forming. CBD doesn't create a high, but is effective for anxiety.

ETA: Be careful with Benadryl as others are suggesting. It can be habit forming when taken for anxiety/sleep, and is also linked to an increased dementia risk: http://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/common-anticholinergic-drugs-like-benadryl-linked-increased-dementia-risk-201501287667

I would start with learning the basics of trauma and some of the biology behind what it does to our brains/body.

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma https://www.amazon.com/dp/0670785938/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_5a0LDbXXEM1FC

Childhood Disrupted: How Your Biography Becomes Your Biology, an... https://www.amazon.com/dp/1476748365/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_awdo_t1_4c0LDb5CB0806

Good luck!

Please don't fall into thinking he has borderline personality disorder and will need to go back to a group home. He needs you to believe in him. He needs you to have hope, even if the facts seem hopeless.

I was sexually abused as a child and had a lot of behavioral and mental health problems as a result. Being labeled as "borderline" was incredibly harmful. My personality is who I am, and to say that my personality is the problem made it hard to conclude that there was any point in trying to get better or even continuing life at all.

Did I fit borderline criteria when I was 16? Sure. But the issue was the trauma, not my personality. It took many years of therapy, but I've been able to work through the trauma, and no longer fall into those "borderline" behaviors. I'm so grateful to my 16-year-old self for rejecting the diagnosis and insisting that my personality was just fine, and my real problem was trauma. It made it possible to heal. Your son can heal too. He will have a much better chance if you believe that healing is possible for him.

Finally, I cannot recommend highly enough, this book on trauma and recovery from trauma: http://www.amazon.com/The-Body-Keeps-Score-Healing/dp/0670785938

A friend of mine had chronic headaches and saw a whole series of specialists who had him do a bunch of tests, including an MRI. They suspected he had a brain tumor that could be giving him these daily, chronic headaches. And then it turned out he had Generalised Anxiety Disorder, making his neck and back muscles tense all the damn time - which of course gave him endless headaches.

What I mean by this is that what's happening to you is normal and very common, for all sorts of anxiety-related conditions. IDK about the specific circumstance but feeling strong, overwhelming emotions can cause some people (eg. me) to instantly develop a headache, stomach pain, nausea, etc.

EDIT: http://www.amazon.com/The-Body-Keeps-Score-Healing/dp/0670785938

While clinical anxiety is treatable with medication, it's up to a trained psychiatrist to say whether or not you need it. It's never a clear cut case. There are several ways to treat the physiological component of anxiety without medication.

If you're interested in the subject, the best book on the subject is Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk's book: The Body Keeps Score. In it, he covers way in which to treat PTSD without medication. Mindfulness, Yoga, EMDR, Neurofeedback, Acting (yes, acting), are some of the techniques he describes in the book to help people who suffer from PTSD. These are all techniques that can be used to help anxiety as well. He even says in the book, that professionals have a tendency to just treat the symptoms with medication, without trying other methods first.

Bessel Van Der Kolk, The Body Keeps The Score

This book from the sidebar is probably right up your alley.

this book will help you understand your trauma
the body keeps the score

http://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0670785938/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1418011159&sr=8-1&keywords=the+body+keeps+the+score

and transcendental meditation
the less effort you put into it the better the effect

You might be interested in reading this book
http://www.amazon.com/The-Body-Keeps-Score-Healing/dp/0670785938

Sure, you can research David Emerson who's involved at Kripalu, or there's Bessel van der Kolk who is a badass, you can listen to a great interview with him from the show On Being. There's also Stephen Levine.

Here's a Kripalu article that quotes van der Kolk.

And there's psychologists that talk a lot about somatic holding, or at least subconscious holding patterns. An easier read would be stuff from Daniel Siegel(I know it kinda looks like pop psych but it's actually pretty good), one of my favorite authors on trauma is Donald Kalsched, which is a bit more dense and more about work through talk psychotherapy. But often I find myself applying his concepts in yoga classes as a way to understand what's going on inside mentally/emotionally that's connected to my physical experience. Also sheds some light on how I relate to other students and the teacher.

Then there's the bodywork stuff, cranial sacral therapy or somatic body work but there's too much misinformation for me to guide you. All I can say is that I have a yoga teacher that also gives me bodywork sessions that supplement my yoga practice, and the inner growth I've experienced has been profound.

Out of all of this, if you're going to research anything I would highly suggest the van der Kolk interview, which you can download and listen to.

Ya, Trauma sticks with you as soon as you're capable of experiencing trauma. Fortunately, there's plenty to be done, but unfortunately it's going to cause some issues. Top that with it being his parents and that impacts his attachment formation which has numerous consequences.

http://www.traumacenter.org/products/pdf_files/preprint_dev_trauma_disorder.pdf

https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0670785938

Van Der Kolk is the gold standard for Trauma.

In the Podcast your friend brought up (2) theories.

Beck's and "Next model", no attribution but it is the concept of early childhood attachment and developmental problems , lack of proper mirroring from primary caregivers, early death of a parent during childhood, and there are a whole lot more....

But your friend then does not follow through with what therapies may be used to help people who are adults but who carry childhood trauma and attachment issues. Hint: CBT does not work on these issues or else is no more effective than a placebo. ref: Bessel Van Der Kolk, "The Body Keeps The Score" (2014). http://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0670785938/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1421707450&sr=8-1&keywords=van+der+kolk

My critique of your friend's Podcast is simply that he spreads the false premise that CBT is the end-all therapy when in fact it does not help a multitude of people who have early childhood trauma and developmental and attachment disorders. And he does a double disservice by mentioning the Childhood Issues as a source of depression and implies that CBT answers them.

I would respectfully request that he remove the reference to early childhood issues as source of depression or else leave it and then offer alternative theories of treatment. Have him look up "Childhood Relationship Trauma"; and books by Bessel Van Der Kolk, Peter Levine, Allan Shore, Robert Scaer, Stephen Porges...... or else rephrase his pitch to say "ONE modality of treatment for depression is CBT".

Therapist here ... and as a therapist I list various specialties on my website ... but am very competent and capable in treating many conditions while using the appropriate treatment modalities. We can't "specialize" in everything. Your therapist might be great ... and just not list trauma as one of the many things he treats.

Specifically for trauma, EMDR, in my opinion, is the most effective trauma treatment, although there are may other good treatments. However, if you are just talking, you're not treating the trauma. This book may be helpful to you: The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. I wish you well on your healing journey.